COOL NEW LINK

Am I Right

Tons of parody songs, some are even halfway decent!

I just submitted my karaoke song...we'll see how it rates.

Thanks to my comrade Terry for the tip!

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 23-29)

Atomic Nightlife--Monday at Headliners
Every Time I Die--Tuesday at Headliners
The I Don't Know Band--tonight at Bunkers Place
Shucking Bubba--Saturday at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Slightly Stoopid--Tuesday at Magic Bag
36crazyfists--Tuesday at Headliners

MARK MORFORD IS BACK, AND IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!

Morfy took several weeks off, but his triumphant return to the dubba-dub-dub is one of his finest works yet. Check it out, especially those of you who got suckered into wasting 9 bucks on "The Passion Of The Sado-Masochist".

How To Gag On 'The Passion'
Nine fun-filled ways Mel Gibson's brutal snuff film makes a mockery of true belief. Clip n' save!

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 16-22)

Blind Circus--tonight & Saturday at Anchor Inn
Box of Cats--Thursday at Bronze Boar
Buck 69--Wednesday at Bronze Boar
Ducksoup (that's me)--tonight at Diane's Roadhouse (and possibly Delaney's later on), Saturday at Mutz
The Good, the Bad, the Blues Band--tonight at Pitchers, Saturday at the Grill
Half Willy (Any relation to Ten Inch Willy?)--tonight & Saturday at L.A. Pit Stop
The Menus--tonight at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Ninja and the Secret Rage--Sunday at Music Suite
Old Blind Dogs--Wednesday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Paint Black Walrus--tonight at Moe's Chargrill, Saturday at Bronze Boar, Tuesday at Baja Boogie Cafe, Wednesday at Good Times Sports Bar and Grill

IN MEMORY OF NICK AND MARY YANKOVIC

Just saw this sad news in yesterday's paper. My deepest condolences to the Weird one...my thoughts are with you and yours, Al ol' pal.

Initially I posted the AP story, but instead here's the message Al posted on his official site:

***

A MESSAGE FROM AL

On April 9, my mom and dad, Nick and Mary Yankovic, passed away in their home in Fallbrook, California. It was the result of a terrible accident – that morning they had started a fire in the fireplace with the flue closed, and were asphyxiated by carbon monoxide poisoning.

Suzanne called me that afternoon on the bus to give me the news, so that I would hear about it before the wire services picked it up.

Needless to say, I feel pretty much the way you would expect me to feel – shocked and devastated beyond words. I loved my parents so much, and this all still seems like a horrible nightmare that I can’t wake up from.

I want to thank my family, friends and fans for the incredible outpouring of love and support that they’ve shown me. It’s wonderful to know that there are so many people around the world who truly loved my parents, and also nice to know that I am not alone in my grief.

I take some small measure of comfort in knowing that they died peacefully, and that they never had to suffer through the pain and loneliness of living without each other. I'm also grateful that they both lived long enough to see me happily married to Suzanne, and particularly happy that they got to meet our beautiful baby daughter Nina. She filled their lives with so much joy this last year. Nina may be too young to remember playing with her grandparents when she gets older, but don’t worry, we’ll have some great videotape to show her.

Many people have wondered what’s going to happen with the tour. I briefly considered canceling some shows, but I ultimately decided that it would be better for me personally to continue working. Plus, I’ve heard from so many people over the years that my music has cheered them up in times of tragedy… well, I thought maybe my music would help me too.

So far, it has. Going up on stage in front of thousands of supportive fans is a cathartic and somewhat therapeutic experience for me right now. I don’t know if I can say that the concerts really take my mind off of the tragedy, but at least they give me a break from sobbing all the time.

Anyway, I have decided not to cancel any shows – the tour will continue as planned. However, I have decided to put a moratorium on all interviews and meet-and-greets for the time being – I just feel like I need some time alone right now.

The funeral will be a very small, intimate service with only the immediate family attending, so please, I ask that you respect our privacy. Just knowing that your thoughts are with us at this time is more than enough, but if you care to contribute anything, in lieu of flowers, Suzanne and I suggest a donation to the Natural Resources Defense Council in my parents’ name.

One thing I would like to ask everybody to do, though… please, go out and get carbon monoxide detectors for yourself and your loved ones. If my parents had had one in their home, there’s a very good chance that they would still be with us today.

In fairness to the memory of my mother, I should point out some errors that appeared in the press. Although she was starting to have a problem with short-term memory loss (she was taking medication for it), my mother was never diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

As long as I’m pointing out errors that the press has made, it was my Aunt Dot who found my parents when she was bringing them lunch that day, as she routinely did (and not a group of relatives concerned that they “hadn’t heard from them in a while” – the family was close and caring and saw each other several times a day). Also, my aunts and uncles all live in separate houses (not together, as some articles implied), and for what it’s worth, I am not represented by the William Morris Agency either.

I don’t know how much else I can say about my parents that I haven’t already said in interviews over the years. Although I always found it a little uncomfortable, my dad talked a lot about death. He mentioned a few times that he was planning to go on a diet so that his “casket would be easier to carry.” I guess that’s where I got my sick sense of humor from. And he was always talking about how much he was looking forward to seeing his old army buddies again (in the next life). I sure hope they’re having a great reunion right now.

As unthinkable as this tragedy is to me, I just know that my mom and dad were very much at peace with the world and with their lives. And I guess I can take a small amount of comfort in that too.

Thank you all again for your overwhelming kindness and support. It means more to me than you can ever know.

Love,
Al

"Revolution is not something fixed in ideology, nor is it something fashioned to a particular decade. It is a perpetual process embedded in the human spirit."
--Abbie Hoffman
November 30, 1936-April 12, 1989

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 9-15)

Box of Cats--Saturday at 60/70 Grill and Bar, Thursday at Bronze Boar
D.A. and the Prosecutors--Saturday at Fitzpatrick's Tavern
Dead Heroes--Saturday at Black Stone
Ducksoup--Saturday at Mutz
Gopher Broke--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
Lame-O--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
LegBone--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
Nothing Special--Saturday at Black Stone
One Minute Mike--tonight at Longhorn Saloon

JUST A QUICK THOUGHT...

I notice different cities have different Gay Pride Days. Shouldn't it be the same everywhere, June 9th? (As in, 6-9? Except of course in Europe where it would be September 6th.)

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 2-8)

Box of Cats--Thursday at Bronze Boar
Fat Dog--Saturday at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Flesh Gallery--Saturday at West Toledo Masonic
Hot Karl (a recent #1 on Buzz Kilman's list)--tonight & Saturday at Baja Boogie Cafe
The Legendary Shack Shakers--Tuesday at Headliners
Rome for a Day--Saturday at West Toledo Masonic
The Science of Big Machines--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Laurie Swyers and Blue Sun--Saturday at Manhattan's
Tastes Like Chicken--tonight at Longhorn Saloon, Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub

BIKINI OR BRAZILIAN?

Uh...um...uh...

2004 ALF Cup Champion:
THE SHIELD

More later.

***

In memory of Tavon Garris
(I think)

SUPER WEDNESDAY

Today's the big day, campers. We're just hours away from the 2004 ALF Cup Grand Final between defending champ The Shield and hotshot rookie Rick Mercer's Monday Report. The tapes are ready, it should be a fine match. There's no halftime show, and I don't expect any wardrobe malfunctions...though with The Shield you never know!

After the bout, I'll be cooking up a season recap, so stay tuned to the Pond for the latest!

Let the carnage begin!

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAR 26-APR 1)

Abusing the Word--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
Athanas Sucks--Sunday at Upper Deck
Bath House Betty--Saturday at Bronze Boar & Longhorn Saloon
Bleed For Me--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
Bottoms Up--tonight & Saturday at M.T. Loonies
Dirty Americans--Saturday at Headliners
Don't Ask--tonight & Saturday at Frog City Sports Pub
Headcreeps--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
Sleeper Cell--tonight at Headliners
Southern Culture on the Skids--Sunday at Magic Bag
Will Haul & the Movers--Saturday at Checkers Pub

VERY NICE ROBERTA DE BOER COLUMN ABOUT NWOPC, 3-23-04

2004 ALF CUP PLAYOFFS

Semifinal results:
8-Rick Mercer's Monday Report def. 4-Queer Eye For The Straight Guy 2-1
14-The Shield def. 7-The Newsroom 2-1

2004 ALF Cup Grand Final--Wednesday, March 31
8-Rick Mercer's Monday Report vs 14-The Shield

Past ALF Cup Champions:
2003--The Shield
2002--This Hour Has 22 Minutes
2001--This Hour Has 22 Minutes
2000--Twin Peaks
1999--This Hour Has 22 Minutes
1998--This Hour Has 22 Minutes
1997--Carson's Comedy Classics
1996--Due South
1995--Animaniacs
1994--The Secret Life Of Machines
1993--Mystery Science Theater 3000
1992--ALF
1991--ALF
1990--ALF
1989--ALF
1988--ALF
1987--ALF

2004 ALF CUP PLAYOFFS

Quarterfinal results:
8-Rick Mercer's Monday Report def. 1-Royal Canadian Air Farce 2-0
4-Queer Eye For The Straight Guy def. 5-The Red Green Show 2-1
7-The Newsroom def. 2-This Hour Has 22 Minutes 2-1
14-The Shield def. 11-Family Guy 2-1

Semifinals--Mar 21-27:
4-Queer Eye For The Straight Guy vs 8-Rick Mercer's Monday Report
7-The Newsroom vs 14-The Shield

ALF Cup Grand Final--Mar 28-Apr 3

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAR 19-25)

Binge Crosby--Saturday at Ernie's Lounge
The Dirtbombs--tonight & Saturday at Magic Bag
Five Horse Johnson--Saturday at Headliners
Pillowblock--Saturday at Headliners
Laurie Swyers and Blue Sun--Saturday at Juwells Sports Bar

...and limping across the "Happy Birthday" finish line over a week late, I believe it is...yes it is...Paulie Feedlebaummmmmmm.

THE TEXAS HILLBILLY

Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy named hsuB.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is.
Criminal record.
Cover-up.

Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk.
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is.
White gold.
Nose candy.

The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "egroeG, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.
Cushy, that is.
Country clubs.
Nose candy.

Twenty years later egroeG gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, that is.
Falwell.
Jesse Helms.

Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those colored folks get into the polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.
Chads, that is.
Duval County.
Miami-Dade.

Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want egroeG to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how egroeG finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is.
Illegitimate.
No moral authority.
Y'all come vote now.
Ya hear?

2004 ALF CUP PLAYOFFS

Second round results:
1-Royal Canadian Air Farce def. 16-WKRP In Cincinnati 2-0
8-Rick Mercer's Monday Report def. 9-An American In Canada 2-0
4-Queer Eye For The Straight Guy def. 13-Boobah 2-1
5-The Red Green Show def. 12-South Park 2-1
2-This Hour Has 22 Minutes def. 15-Beavis & Butt-head 2-1
7-The Newsroom def. 10-The Kids In The Hall 2-0
14-The Shield def. 3-Survivor 2-1
11-Family Guy def. 6-The Simpsons 2-1

Quarterfinals--Mar. 14-20:
1-Royal Canadian Air Farce vs 8-Rick Mercer's Monday Report
4-Queer Eye For The Straight Guy vs 5-The Red Green Show
2-This Hour Has 22 Minutes vs 7-The Newsroom
11-Family Guy vs 14-The Shield

Semifinals--Mar. 21-27:
1/8 winner vs 4/5 winner
2/7 winner vs 11/14 winner

2004 ALF Cup Grand Final--Mar. 28-Apr. 3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEEPSTAKES

Well it looks like the Stever won by default, albeit three days late. Better late than never I spose. Still, he can expect a "Happy Birthday" from me three days late this year. Max came in second, 5 days late, so the same goes for him. As for Pablo, aka Feedlebaum...well, maybe he collapsed on the backstretch and the vets had to shoot him. We can only hope.

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAR 12-18)

The Cupcakes--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub
The Gelheads--Saturday at Magic Bag
The Killer Flamingos--Wednesday at Lair Lounge
Rick--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Rough Terrain--tonight & Saturday at Firehouse 47 Bar and Grill
Stacked Ham--tonight & Saturday at Break Room Lounge
Ten Inch Willy--tonight & Saturday at L.A. Pit Stop