TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (SEP 26-OCT 2)
10. Scoobie Snaks--Fri & Sat at Prime Time South
9. Beer Goggles--Fri & Sat at Frog City
8. The Ordinary Way--Fri at Howards Club H
7. Mad Cows--Sat at Grill
6. Reaganomics--Sat at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
5. The Sell Out Kings--Fri & Sat at Prime Time North
4. Watermelon Men--Sun at Secor Lanes
3. Geronimo's Cadilac--Fri at Village Idiot
2. Government Honey--Thu at Distillery
And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week...
1. Tangerine Trousers--Fri at Diva
Thursday, September 25, 2003
THE DOVE POND--READER'S DIGEST VERSION
Just 2 short items this time, to save space...
1. ASHCROFT'S LATEST WHOPPER
"Recently, some in Washington have created an hysteria that local libraries are under siege of the FBI, that we are somehow rifling through the reading records of Americans," Ashcroft said. But he said "not a single American's library records have been reviewed under the Patriot act."
http://startribune.com/stories/1576/4107876.html
Dear John:
You forgot to mention that the USA-PATRIOT Act MAKES IT A CRIME FOR ANYONE TO DISCLOSE THAT YOU HAVE REQUESTED ANYONE'S LIBRARY RECORDS. So, how may we conclude that you're telling us the truth? Would you tell us if you were wiretapping us and intercepting our emails?
--Terry Lodge
[My pal Terry, a lawyer and fellow NWOPC member, hits the nail on the head there I think.--DJP]
2. LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON...THINK ABOUT IT, WON'T YOU?
On September 11, 1990, President George H. W. Bush, addressing a joint session of Congress, claimed “120,000 Iraqi troops with 850 tanks have poured into Kuwait and moved south to threaten Saudi Arabia.” But an enterprising journalist, Jean Heller, reported in the St. Petersburg Times on January 6, 1991 (a bare ten days before the Gulf War began) that commercial satellite photos taken on September 11, the day the president spoke, showed no sign of a massive buildup of Iraqi forces in Kuwait. When the Pentagon was asked to provide evidence to support the president’s claim, it refused to do so—and continues to refuse to this day.
http://www.veteransforpeace.org/EX_CIA_professional_052503.htm
[Deja vu.--DJP]
PS: Apparently I've gotten away with posting the previous post. Then again, they might be trying to lull me into a false sense of security. Not a chance, I'm too paranoid! :)
Just 2 short items this time, to save space...
1. ASHCROFT'S LATEST WHOPPER
"Recently, some in Washington have created an hysteria that local libraries are under siege of the FBI, that we are somehow rifling through the reading records of Americans," Ashcroft said. But he said "not a single American's library records have been reviewed under the Patriot act."
http://startribune.com/stories/1576/4107876.html
Dear John:
You forgot to mention that the USA-PATRIOT Act MAKES IT A CRIME FOR ANYONE TO DISCLOSE THAT YOU HAVE REQUESTED ANYONE'S LIBRARY RECORDS. So, how may we conclude that you're telling us the truth? Would you tell us if you were wiretapping us and intercepting our emails?
--Terry Lodge
[My pal Terry, a lawyer and fellow NWOPC member, hits the nail on the head there I think.--DJP]
2. LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON...THINK ABOUT IT, WON'T YOU?
On September 11, 1990, President George H. W. Bush, addressing a joint session of Congress, claimed “120,000 Iraqi troops with 850 tanks have poured into Kuwait and moved south to threaten Saudi Arabia.” But an enterprising journalist, Jean Heller, reported in the St. Petersburg Times on January 6, 1991 (a bare ten days before the Gulf War began) that commercial satellite photos taken on September 11, the day the president spoke, showed no sign of a massive buildup of Iraqi forces in Kuwait. When the Pentagon was asked to provide evidence to support the president’s claim, it refused to do so—and continues to refuse to this day.
http://www.veteransforpeace.org/EX_CIA_professional_052503.htm
[Deja vu.--DJP]
PS: Apparently I've gotten away with posting the previous post. Then again, they might be trying to lull me into a false sense of security. Not a chance, I'm too paranoid! :)
Monday, September 22, 2003
LIQUOR, BUSH, AND RUBBER NIPPLES
So I'm searching for photos of some folks who might make my next Celeb Crush list, and a name pops into my head: Jenna Bush.
Then the inevitable questions start bouncing around in my brain: Would I, could I, should I include "Doughnut Girl" in the next list?
The plus is obvious: She's fuckin' hot. The minuses are plenty: For starters, does she even count as a celebrity? Well, she's really only famous for being famous, but it could be argued that she's made a name for herself, what with all the drinking and partying and making out with her gal pals.
Then there's the fact that I hate her along with her entire family. If you hate someone's guts but would still fuck them if given the chance, does that really constitute a 'crush' per se? Doesn't a crush imply some measure of affection/admiration for the crushee?
Then of course there's the ultimate plus/minus: She's a booze hound. And as a rule, drunk women don't turn me on. Never have. (Unless of course I'm also drunk. But obviously that doesn't count.) Now mind you, in light of recent events in my life I've come to much the same realization as many before me: Drunk women are easier. Duh.
So it would seem that all I have to do is either set aside my self-imposed rule or just get myself sufficiently soaked to the point where I don't give a shit. And I happen to know for a fact that this works in my case. (With disastrous results I might add.)
So if I were so inclined (and really horny) I'm sure I could on a regular basis put into practice the routine touted by the late Sam Kinison, which was this: A) Get her drunk, B) Get her in bed, C) Cum all over her back, D) Steal 30 or 40 bucks out of her purse, E) Crawl out the window, and F) Never call her again. "Let them wake up sticky, broke and confused...let's see how they like it."
The trick is (and believe me I will keep this foremost in my mind in future if/when necessary) to make sure that the drunk woman in question is NOT someone I love or care about, and is someone I WON'T miss terribly when we never speak again afterwards.
I hate Jenna Bush. Okay, so that solves that problem!
Which leaves only the biggest hurdle: the ironically increasing lack of freedom of speech in this, the age of the internet. With the U.S. of A. becoming more and more like Nazi Germany under the so-called leadership of Jenna's neo-Hitler daddy, can I really expect to be allowed to post this very entry on my blog without repercussions?
If I wished, could I, in fact, state here in The Pond that *if* I were given the chance, I *might* be inclined to give Jenna the Kinison-style "sticky, broke and confused" treatment? And could I make such a statement without having Secret Service agents breaking down my door tomorrow morning, seizing all my belongings, and shipping me off to Gitmo as a suspected terrorist?
This remains to be seen. If I post again in a few days, you can assume a yes. If not, hopefully one of you will be willing to post my bail.
P.S. In order to maintain the relevance of the title of this post, let me quickly address the topic of rubber nipples:
Rubber nipples--good. Fire--bad.
So I'm searching for photos of some folks who might make my next Celeb Crush list, and a name pops into my head: Jenna Bush.
Then the inevitable questions start bouncing around in my brain: Would I, could I, should I include "Doughnut Girl" in the next list?
The plus is obvious: She's fuckin' hot. The minuses are plenty: For starters, does she even count as a celebrity? Well, she's really only famous for being famous, but it could be argued that she's made a name for herself, what with all the drinking and partying and making out with her gal pals.
Then there's the fact that I hate her along with her entire family. If you hate someone's guts but would still fuck them if given the chance, does that really constitute a 'crush' per se? Doesn't a crush imply some measure of affection/admiration for the crushee?
Then of course there's the ultimate plus/minus: She's a booze hound. And as a rule, drunk women don't turn me on. Never have. (Unless of course I'm also drunk. But obviously that doesn't count.) Now mind you, in light of recent events in my life I've come to much the same realization as many before me: Drunk women are easier. Duh.
So it would seem that all I have to do is either set aside my self-imposed rule or just get myself sufficiently soaked to the point where I don't give a shit. And I happen to know for a fact that this works in my case. (With disastrous results I might add.)
So if I were so inclined (and really horny) I'm sure I could on a regular basis put into practice the routine touted by the late Sam Kinison, which was this: A) Get her drunk, B) Get her in bed, C) Cum all over her back, D) Steal 30 or 40 bucks out of her purse, E) Crawl out the window, and F) Never call her again. "Let them wake up sticky, broke and confused...let's see how they like it."
The trick is (and believe me I will keep this foremost in my mind in future if/when necessary) to make sure that the drunk woman in question is NOT someone I love or care about, and is someone I WON'T miss terribly when we never speak again afterwards.
I hate Jenna Bush. Okay, so that solves that problem!
Which leaves only the biggest hurdle: the ironically increasing lack of freedom of speech in this, the age of the internet. With the U.S. of A. becoming more and more like Nazi Germany under the so-called leadership of Jenna's neo-Hitler daddy, can I really expect to be allowed to post this very entry on my blog without repercussions?
If I wished, could I, in fact, state here in The Pond that *if* I were given the chance, I *might* be inclined to give Jenna the Kinison-style "sticky, broke and confused" treatment? And could I make such a statement without having Secret Service agents breaking down my door tomorrow morning, seizing all my belongings, and shipping me off to Gitmo as a suspected terrorist?
This remains to be seen. If I post again in a few days, you can assume a yes. If not, hopefully one of you will be willing to post my bail.
P.S. In order to maintain the relevance of the title of this post, let me quickly address the topic of rubber nipples:
Rubber nipples--good. Fire--bad.
Friday, September 19, 2003
TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (SEP 19-25)
10. Zero Rain--Sat at Bait Shop Bar & Grill
9. Unglued--Fri & Sat at Papa And Drews
8. Static Rituals--Wed at Mickey Finn's Pub
7. Smoking--Sat at Lucky Louie's
6. Ten Inch Willy--Fri & Sat at L.A. Pit Stop
5. Musicians Night Out With Bathhouse Betty--Fri at Back Porch
4. D/A And The Prosecutors--Fri at Panama J's
3. Carbon Leaf--Mon at Howards Club H
2. Stacked Ham--Fri & Sat at Break Room Lounge
And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week...
1. Creamy Goodness--Fri at Frog City Sports Pub
10. Zero Rain--Sat at Bait Shop Bar & Grill
9. Unglued--Fri & Sat at Papa And Drews
8. Static Rituals--Wed at Mickey Finn's Pub
7. Smoking--Sat at Lucky Louie's
6. Ten Inch Willy--Fri & Sat at L.A. Pit Stop
5. Musicians Night Out With Bathhouse Betty--Fri at Back Porch
4. D/A And The Prosecutors--Fri at Panama J's
3. Carbon Leaf--Mon at Howards Club H
2. Stacked Ham--Fri & Sat at Break Room Lounge
And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week...
1. Creamy Goodness--Fri at Frog City Sports Pub
Friday, September 12, 2003
FIRST I RIP OFF THE STEVER, NOW BUZZ...WHAT'S NEXT, "LEAVING IDAHO"? ("CHAFING CHAFING CHAFING CHAFING...")
With all due props to Buzz Kilman, the time has come for me to kick off a new Pond feature:
TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (SEP 12-18)
10. Paint Black Walrus--Fri at Fat Tuesdays, Sat at Bronze Boar
9. The Blue Kazoos--Fri at Morris'
8. The Griswolds--Mon at Casa Barron
7. Ninja And The Secret Rage--Sun at Music Suite
6. Froghead--Fri/Sat at M.T. Loonies
5. Don't Ask--Fri/Sat at Michigan Tavern
4. Goin' To Gramma's--Wed at Manhattan's
3. Ten Inch Willy--Fri/Sat at Checkers Pub, Wed/Thu at Club Attitudes
2. D/A And The Prosecutors--Fri at Panama J's
And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week (and what a timely choice for today)...
1. The Bastard Sons Of Johnny Cash--Sat at Mickey Finn's Pub
Honorable Mention: Dirty Power--Tue at the High 5 Bar in Columbus
With all due props to Buzz Kilman, the time has come for me to kick off a new Pond feature:
TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (SEP 12-18)
10. Paint Black Walrus--Fri at Fat Tuesdays, Sat at Bronze Boar
9. The Blue Kazoos--Fri at Morris'
8. The Griswolds--Mon at Casa Barron
7. Ninja And The Secret Rage--Sun at Music Suite
6. Froghead--Fri/Sat at M.T. Loonies
5. Don't Ask--Fri/Sat at Michigan Tavern
4. Goin' To Gramma's--Wed at Manhattan's
3. Ten Inch Willy--Fri/Sat at Checkers Pub, Wed/Thu at Club Attitudes
2. D/A And The Prosecutors--Fri at Panama J's
And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week (and what a timely choice for today)...
1. The Bastard Sons Of Johnny Cash--Sat at Mickey Finn's Pub
Honorable Mention: Dirty Power--Tue at the High 5 Bar in Columbus
Saturday, September 06, 2003
HELLO CLEVELAND HEIGHTS!
Wow.
What a blast I had in Cleveland Sunday night at the Pansy Division show. I needed until today to recover sufficiently to write this post. Where to begin? What can I tell you? More importantly, what CAN'T I tell you? ;)
Unlike Detroit last October, Paulie and I made sure we arrived at the Grog Shop early so as not to miss anything. And with three other bands opening for them (Three?!) there was plenty of time to spare. From the moment PD got there, we were privileged to spend mucho quality time with them.
After playing roadie and helping them carry their equipment inside, we got to tag along with Patrick, Jon and Luis as they went down the street for sandwiches. (Apparently Chris wasn't hungry.) I kicked myself for not having a tape recorder handy, but nonetheless I gently went into interview mode for the purpose of this here post.
One mystery was cleared up for me when I asked Jon about the song "Blurry Down Below" from the new album. Was it about STDs? Leprosy? Nukes? He explained that it was actually a sort of a sci-fi scenario, about waking up and finding your genitals blurred out much like televised nudity. Think Kafka meets Jackass, I guess.
Another revealing bit of info came as they passed around a write-up on the band in a local paper. The article made mention of Jon's "penis-shaped guitar", to which Jon responded (and I have to paraphrase) "What penis-shaped guitar? I don't have a guitar shaped like a penis. My penis IS shaped like a guitar, though."
Later, back at the Grog Shop, as the other acts played, a guy in the crowd came up to me and handed me a tiny light bulb and said "The tall blond guy [Chris] in your band was looking for a bulb, one of the other bands found it. You're in the band, right?" I told him no, but that I'm friends with them, so I'd see that he got it back. Little did I know how prophetic his question would prove.
Now, during the encore at the Detroit show, several of us requested the song "Flower". For those of you who haven't heard it, the song includes a run-on lyric that goes for about a minute and a half. On the record Jon obviously recorded it in sections which were then edited together. But he was unable to sing it live, so instead they played the song off the CD and lip-synched it as a joke. But since then, after a bit of practice I figured out how to breathe sufficiently to be able to sing it. I told Jon earlier in the evening that if they wanted me to, I could come up on stage and sing it. Jon said "We'll see," and I didn't really expect it to happen.
They played a 16-song set and came back for 2 songs as an encore. Next thing I know Jon tells the crowd "We have a friend here who says he can sing this one..." and before you can say "Star Search" I am on stage performing with Pansy Division!
I half-jokingly asked Jon earlier if they could slow it down for me if we do it. Big mistake. Normally I take 1 breath per line, but they slowed it down to the point where I had to take 2 breaths per line. I muddled through though, AND I stayed in key, something I've been conscious of since Paulie once told me I was off-key on it. I actually ran out of breath on the last two or three words of the very last line, but the crowd didn't seem to care. They went nuts, the band was pleasantly shocked and awed that I made it through, and Paulie was never more proud of me. He got pics of it too which I will scan and post online as soon as I possibly can.
So that was a dream fulfilled for me. Another one was sort of fulfilled as well, but discretion forbids me from writing about it here. Sorry, folks, you'll just have to use your imaginations. ;)
Anyway sorry for the delay of this recap but I'm still coming down off the high. Not to mention my voice is still recovering. But that's really from singing along and shouting throughout the show, not from singing "Flower". So I would imagine once my voice is back at 100% I'll be hitting the local karaoke scene. I really felt in my element up there on stage. Perhaps if PD ever needs a new vocalist...
P.S. One thing's for sure, PD needs a new lead guitarist. Patrick dropped the bombshell on us that this was his final tour with PD (his last show with them is tonight in fact) to concentrate on his own band, Dirty Power. I've added a link to the DP page at right. They've got a video premiering on MTV soon and it will also be viewable on their site soon. Check them out, they fuckin' kick some serious ass!
Wow.
What a blast I had in Cleveland Sunday night at the Pansy Division show. I needed until today to recover sufficiently to write this post. Where to begin? What can I tell you? More importantly, what CAN'T I tell you? ;)
Unlike Detroit last October, Paulie and I made sure we arrived at the Grog Shop early so as not to miss anything. And with three other bands opening for them (Three?!) there was plenty of time to spare. From the moment PD got there, we were privileged to spend mucho quality time with them.
After playing roadie and helping them carry their equipment inside, we got to tag along with Patrick, Jon and Luis as they went down the street for sandwiches. (Apparently Chris wasn't hungry.) I kicked myself for not having a tape recorder handy, but nonetheless I gently went into interview mode for the purpose of this here post.
One mystery was cleared up for me when I asked Jon about the song "Blurry Down Below" from the new album. Was it about STDs? Leprosy? Nukes? He explained that it was actually a sort of a sci-fi scenario, about waking up and finding your genitals blurred out much like televised nudity. Think Kafka meets Jackass, I guess.
Another revealing bit of info came as they passed around a write-up on the band in a local paper. The article made mention of Jon's "penis-shaped guitar", to which Jon responded (and I have to paraphrase) "What penis-shaped guitar? I don't have a guitar shaped like a penis. My penis IS shaped like a guitar, though."
Later, back at the Grog Shop, as the other acts played, a guy in the crowd came up to me and handed me a tiny light bulb and said "The tall blond guy [Chris] in your band was looking for a bulb, one of the other bands found it. You're in the band, right?" I told him no, but that I'm friends with them, so I'd see that he got it back. Little did I know how prophetic his question would prove.
Now, during the encore at the Detroit show, several of us requested the song "Flower". For those of you who haven't heard it, the song includes a run-on lyric that goes for about a minute and a half. On the record Jon obviously recorded it in sections which were then edited together. But he was unable to sing it live, so instead they played the song off the CD and lip-synched it as a joke. But since then, after a bit of practice I figured out how to breathe sufficiently to be able to sing it. I told Jon earlier in the evening that if they wanted me to, I could come up on stage and sing it. Jon said "We'll see," and I didn't really expect it to happen.
They played a 16-song set and came back for 2 songs as an encore. Next thing I know Jon tells the crowd "We have a friend here who says he can sing this one..." and before you can say "Star Search" I am on stage performing with Pansy Division!
I half-jokingly asked Jon earlier if they could slow it down for me if we do it. Big mistake. Normally I take 1 breath per line, but they slowed it down to the point where I had to take 2 breaths per line. I muddled through though, AND I stayed in key, something I've been conscious of since Paulie once told me I was off-key on it. I actually ran out of breath on the last two or three words of the very last line, but the crowd didn't seem to care. They went nuts, the band was pleasantly shocked and awed that I made it through, and Paulie was never more proud of me. He got pics of it too which I will scan and post online as soon as I possibly can.
So that was a dream fulfilled for me. Another one was sort of fulfilled as well, but discretion forbids me from writing about it here. Sorry, folks, you'll just have to use your imaginations. ;)
Anyway sorry for the delay of this recap but I'm still coming down off the high. Not to mention my voice is still recovering. But that's really from singing along and shouting throughout the show, not from singing "Flower". So I would imagine once my voice is back at 100% I'll be hitting the local karaoke scene. I really felt in my element up there on stage. Perhaps if PD ever needs a new vocalist...
P.S. One thing's for sure, PD needs a new lead guitarist. Patrick dropped the bombshell on us that this was his final tour with PD (his last show with them is tonight in fact) to concentrate on his own band, Dirty Power. I've added a link to the DP page at right. They've got a video premiering on MTV soon and it will also be viewable on their site soon. Check them out, they fuckin' kick some serious ass!
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