BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (JUL 30-AUG 5)
 
Frayed Knot--tonight & Saturday at Firehouse 47 Bar And Grill
Solar Fist--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
Glass Bead Game--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
Beefcarvers--tonight & Saturday at Prime Time North
 
And the best band name playing the Toledo area this week, in honor of my mom, who would have turned 68 today (and would have been a great-grandmother as of yesterday)...
 
Dead Beat Moms--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
 
PS: If you're wondering when I'm gonna write more stuff here at the Pond besides the band names, sorry, but I've not been sufficiently inspired lately. When I write something worth posting, you'll be the first to know. Until then, deal with it.
 

PS: My mother was supposed to turn 68 today. Top o' the world, ma! We miss you.

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (JUL 23-29)
 
Back from vacation and ready to rock ya, with the usual style and finesse!
 
Froghead--tonight, Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday at M.T. Loonies
The Science Of Big Machines--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
Dirty Damn Band--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
Buck 69--Saturday at Minde Set Bar And Grill
Law And DisOrder--Saturday at Papa's Tavern
Paint Black Walrus--tonight at Moe's Chargrill, Saturday at Bronze Boar, Wednesday at Good Times Sports Bar And Grill
Box Of Cats--Thursday at Bronze Boar
Big Blues Bob And The Thin Ice--tonight at Bronze Boar
Voodoo Libido (with Eddie Kirkland)--tonight at Manhattan's
Fat Mouth Charlie And The Biscuit Rollers--tonight at Nick And Jimmy's
The Beatalls--Thursday at Carmel's
 
And my pick for the best band name playing the Toledo area this week...

Dr. Kilpatient--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
 

YAWN...3 QUICK ITEMS TO TIDE YOU OVER

1. So TV Misguide dissed ALF's Hit Talk Show. Like I give two shits.

That worthless rag lost whatever relevance and/or credibility it had left YEARS ago! I mean, really, do you know anyone with even a hint of brain matter in their skull who still wastes their money on that poor excuse for toilet paper? I'm proud to say I don't.

In the immortal words of Al "Grandpa" Lewis, "FUCK 'EM!"

2. I know I didn't post the weekly band names last Friday. For the third straight week there weren't any noteworthy band names in the area. Plus I was busy dealing with more important, personal matters. Sorry. Maybe this week.

3. This song by the Killers, "Somebody Told Me"...the lyrics puzzle me.

"Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year..."

Um...so is this some sort of time-lapsed love triangle involving a sex change operation? Man, and I thought I had weird three-way ideas!

CORRECTION...??? DAYS UNTIL THE NEXT EPISODE OF ALF'S HIT TALK SHOW

Please help me ensure that there is a next episode! Email postmaster@tvland.com and beg, plead, insist, demand that they continue the show!

PS: I'm planning on some changes to freshen up the Pond a bit, soon as I figure out what changes to make, and find time to make them.

5 DAYS UNTIL THE SECOND EPISODE OF ALF'S HIT TALK SHOW!

"Heeeeeeeeeere's ALF!"

And with that boisterous shout from Ed McMahon Wednesday night, the late night talk show torch was officially and undeniably passed directly from Johnny Carson to ALF.

Not Leno. Not Letterman. Not Arsenio. Not O'Brien. Not Kilborn. Not Sajak. Not Chevy Chase.

ALF!

What a fantastic premiere. My goombah has finally been given a horse he can ride! TV Land served it up right too. Wednesday nights at 10pm just became appointment viewing. (Which is too bad for South Park, but that always repeats several times later in the week anyway, so as ALF would say, no problem.)

Ed was great. The "spin-ins" ("Dr. Phil, Medicine Woman", "Spongebob Newhart", "Touched By A Charlie's Angel") were great. The cameo by Henry Winkler was cool (especially since he used to exec produce ALF's former time slot rival, "MacGyver"). Drew Carey was great. The man on the street bit fell flat (because ALF wasn't in it). Dennis Franz was okay (even though he's from a Bochco show and Bochco once dissed ALF...hiss!). And the girl with the ALF tattoo was a sweet bit.

And of course, throughout the show, the ol' ALFer was in top form, firing off superb one-liners left and right like a box of Roman candles dropped into a campfire. I know that coming from me this may sound biased, but facts are facts: ALF captured and brought back the feel and comedic rhythm of Carson like no other host has before or since.

The Shield, 22 Minutes and Family Guy better watch out...if ALF decides to compete for the 2005 ALF Cup, the whole season will be a mere formality!

***

PS: Sorry, but again this week the local band name selection was sorely lacking. Maybe next week.

APPROXIMATELY 13.5 HOURS UNTIL THE PREMIERE OF "ALF'S HIT TALK SHOW"!

In my case, though, it's more like 23.5 hours. I'll have to watch it on tape after work tomorrow morning. But the rest of you can tune in to TV Land tonight at 10pm!

It's been 14 long years since "ALF" got unfairly canned...tonight that horrible wrong will finally be put right! Enjoy!

3 DAYS UNTIL THE PREMIERE OF ALF'S HIT TALK SHOW!

And as we await my goombah's big night, Wednesday at 10pm on TV Land (check your local cable listings), the anticipation builds, much as I'm sure it does each week as ye, the loyal readers of the Pond, await the weekly list of band names. Well the band name selection was crap this week, likely due to the holiday, so there's no such list this week.

My sincere apologies for the inconvenience. I'm sure there are those of you who may find it hard to go on without the weekly band name fix, but you must try. Go out, enjoy life. Run. Play. Frolic. Visit the park. Learn a trade. Maybe take in the symphony (especially if they're homeless). Go see Fahrenheit 911 if you haven't already. Adopt a puppy. Plant a tree. Make a donation to the local sperm bank. Whatever.