I GOTTA GO BUY MYSELF A DIGITAL CAMERA A.S.A.P.
So I look out at the back yard just now, and see some of the flowers my mom planted before she died, tulips, daffodils, etc., and the tops are collecting snow. One of the strangest sights I've ever seen.
Toledo weather...you just can't outweird it.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Monday, April 11, 2005
LATEST KARAOKE UPDATE BELOW...BUT FIRST, I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE ALL YOU OTHER KARAOKE SINGERS AS BLOODY FUCKING ENVIOUS AS POSSIBLE...
As I write this, next to me sits..."THE BOOK".
Are you salivating yet?
Yes, The Book. The Good Book, if you will. The Mother Of All Karaoke Books!
Yes, the one and only Premiere Karaoke Songbook, in all its "virtually duplicate free" glory. 191 pages, countless thousands of songs, double-column format (the single-column version was getting TOO THICK to add new pages!), now sits beside me, awaiting my eagle-eye proofreading skills, to weed out any and all spelling/wording errors.
And if along the way, I manage to fill out a slip for every possible song I might even THINK about doing...well, no harm, no foul.
Did I say countless thousands? Well, sure, that is, until I get in a crazy-enough mood to start counting them! Muwahahahahaha!!!
KARAOKE RECAP: SAT APR 9, MUTZ, 6 SONGS
NEW--California Girls--The Beach Boys
Figured You Out--NickelbackSang it nice and angry.
Stealin'--Uriah Heep
NEW--Friends Never Say Goodbye--Elton John--Rehearsed it all day Saturday, but then it turned out to be a diff version, and I got thrown. Sang half the notes wrong I'm sure. Didn't matter.
Ace Of Spades--MotorheadIt was this or Radiohead, but since Jason (Satan) showed up and Levi didn't, Motorhead won out. Jason was impressed, and of course he had to play helper monkey, which I don't mind. The mic stand didn't go up as high as the first time I did it, so the Lemmy effect wasn't as strong. Plus I still need the fake boils.
I'll Be Seeing You--Frank Sinatra
As I write this, next to me sits..."THE BOOK".
Are you salivating yet?
Yes, The Book. The Good Book, if you will. The Mother Of All Karaoke Books!
Yes, the one and only Premiere Karaoke Songbook, in all its "virtually duplicate free" glory. 191 pages, countless thousands of songs, double-column format (the single-column version was getting TOO THICK to add new pages!), now sits beside me, awaiting my eagle-eye proofreading skills, to weed out any and all spelling/wording errors.
And if along the way, I manage to fill out a slip for every possible song I might even THINK about doing...well, no harm, no foul.
Did I say countless thousands? Well, sure, that is, until I get in a crazy-enough mood to start counting them! Muwahahahahaha!!!
KARAOKE RECAP: SAT APR 9, MUTZ, 6 SONGS
NEW--California Girls--The Beach Boys
Figured You Out--NickelbackSang it nice and angry.
Stealin'--Uriah Heep
NEW--Friends Never Say Goodbye--Elton John--Rehearsed it all day Saturday, but then it turned out to be a diff version, and I got thrown. Sang half the notes wrong I'm sure. Didn't matter.
Ace Of Spades--MotorheadIt was this or Radiohead, but since Jason (Satan) showed up and Levi didn't, Motorhead won out. Jason was impressed, and of course he had to play helper monkey, which I don't mind. The mic stand didn't go up as high as the first time I did it, so the Lemmy effect wasn't as strong. Plus I still need the fake boils.
I'll Be Seeing You--Frank Sinatra
Saturday, April 09, 2005
LONGEST...KARAOKE RECAP...EVER!
Feb 26-Apr 4
NEW--Ace Of Spades--Motorhead--Works very well. Jason (aka Satan) will be proud of me when he hears it. I put the mic stand even higher than I already do, to achieve maximum Lemmy effect. All I need now is a couple of fake boils to stick on my face!
NEW--Ain't No Sunshine--Bill Withers--I felt like challenging myself. Could I get through all 26 "I know"s in one breath? Answer: Almost...I got 25.
American Idiot--Green Day--People love my 'red state agenda' line.
Birthday--The Beatles--Once for Doug and once for myself. We teamed up. Doug likes to do the scream.
NEW--Born To Be Wild--Steppenwolf--Joined Mighty Mouse for an improptu duet. Worked well.
NEW--Boulevard Of Broken Dreams--Green Day--Stole it from Noel. We've sort of been taking turns on this one. Not as strenuous as "American Idiot", but still pushing the range a bit.
Carefree Highway--Gordon Lightfoot--Dusted off some of my lower-range songs while I was sick and my mid-to-high was shot.
The Curly Shuffle--Jump 'n The Saddle Band--Mighty Mouse requested it. Hadn't done it for a while because it's a real workout. But I still get many compliments on it.
NEW--Dear Prudence--The Beatles--Had been sitting in the Need-It pile for some time. Turns out I like hearing it more than singing it.
Detachable Penis--King Missile--Still gets raves even though I'm not singing. WTF?
Drinkin' Bone--Tracy Byrd--Doug hardly sings anymore. Perhaps I've stolen one too many songs from him? Oh well, too bad..."How'd I Wind Up In Jamaica" is next on my to-do list. I just need one specific prop and I'll be ready.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Still nailing it for the most part and still enjoying it.
NEW--Figured You Out--Nickelback
Float On--Modest Mouse--Sam helped me do a song-smashup on this one. I had him sing "Float On" while I tossed in bits of "Sunday Bloody Sunday" which, face it, is what "Float On" sounds a lot like. I think the smashup worked well, though the crowd didn't know what to make of it. Peasants!
NEW--Got The Time--Anthrax--Another one that sat in the Need-It pile too long. Stole it from Jason (aka Satan) who ended up singing just about the whole song with me. I didn't really need that much help though, he was only supposed to do the backup parts.
Hurt--Johnny Cash--Low-range song for when I was sick.
I Don't Like Mondays--The Boomtown Rats--Sung at SWL leading into my birthday. Halfway through I changed "Mondays" to "Birthdays".
I Miss You--Blink 182--Had to come back to this one at some point, because first time I did it I failed to do the obligatory Blink 182 accent. (Someone please explain how a band from San Diego ends up sounding like they're from Jersey?
NEW--I Wanna Be Sedated--The Ramones--Stole it from and then dueted on it with Dusty (aka D-Bizzle). Every now and then I change "Sedated" to "Fellated".
NEW--I'm Too Sexy--Right Said Fred--A recent South Park ep featured a Chinese singer from New Zealand named Wing, who sang songs like "Dancing Queen", "Fernando" and "Sing A Song" in an almost Yoko-esque falsetto. Within hours I was doing a spot-on Wing imitation. Soon after, so was Noel. In a shining example of just how oddly our brains are wired, we somehow decided to sing "I'm Too Sexy" as a duet, both in our Wing voices. Don't ask.
If I Had $1,000,000--Barenaked Ladies
The Lion Sleeps Tonight--The Tokens--Did this while sick. What was I thinking? Someone dueted with me, but I forget whom.
Marijuanaville--David Allan Coe--Have done this 5 times since the last recap. Crowd loves it everywhere I go. What's odd is, I get in trouble for certain other parodies, but this one meets no resistance. I guess there are more potheads out there than I thought. (D&M, is there something I should know about you guys?) I added a new bit: during the instrumental break I sneak off (with mike in hand) for a few pretend hits, then come back in full stoner mode. Doug hopes to have a bong sound effect ready for this part in the near future.
Miserable--Lit--Fucked up my 2nd try at this worse than my 1st. Maybe 3rd time will be a charm, if I make a 3rd try.
Mother--Pink Floyd--Did this March 5th, 3 years to the day she died.
My Happy Ending--Avril Lavigne--While sick, I still had the EVV so I decided to do one from my Avril/Britney/etc batch. I couldn't pick one so I let Doug pick. Bad choice, turns out. Sucked big time.
1979--Smashing Pumpkins--Some guy did "33", first guy I've heard besides myself to try to sound like Billy Corgan. He did good, but being me, I had to throw down.
Oh Pretty Woman--Roy Orbison
One More Minute--Weird Al Yankovic--Crowd loves it, the chicks dig when I sing to them, and I now do Al's fork bit in the middle.
Outside (live acoustic version--Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst--Slowly catching up to the original.
Poisoning Pigeons In The Park--Tom Lehrer--Spring is here. Once solo, and once as a duet with Noel.
NEW--Rawhide--The Blues Brothers--Something low-range while sick. Luckily nobody threw any bottles, because I was fresh out of chicken wire.
NEW--Saturday Night--The Bay City Rollers--In a year and a half of Saturday nights at Mutz, I'd never heard anyone do this one. So I took a shot. Now I know why I never heard it.
NEW--Schiavo--Steve Dahl--Parody of "Shilo" by Neil Diamond. I did it at Center Court the night before she died. Timing is everything.
NEW--She Blocked Me--Bob Ricci--From a flash animation online. Well received.
NEW--Shilo--Neil Diamond--Did this at CC in order to set up "Schiavo", and also to see how the karaoke track goes. The song ends abruptly, without the "Shilo...Shilo..." part at the end. So I moved that part to the middle instrum break on "Schiavo", at which point I also add my imitation of T.S. sounding like something at Sea World. (BTW, my Neil Diamond is right on. Even better than Dahl's, IMHO.)
NEW--Sister Golden Hair--America--Dahl recently had Gerry Beckley on his show and got to perform "SGH" with him. Had to try my hand at it. I came close to lapsing into the EVV a couple times at first, but now my GBV is right on!
NEW--Star Wars Cantina--Mark Jonathan Davis--Parody of "Copacabana", of course. Duet with Noel. Yes, we certainly seem to be kindred spirits.
Tiptoe Thru The Tulips--Tiny Tim--Only because I hadn't done it at Mutz since last spring, so most of my current karaoke comrades hadn't heard my spot-on TTV.
Transcendental Blues--Steve Earle--Got a cold? Voice is raspy? Not sure what to sing at karaoke at a time like this? Well that, my friend, is why Steve Earle is in the book.
Turn The Page--Bob Seger--"You drink the day's last Triple Black..."
Wish You Were Here--Pink Floyd--Also on March 5th, along with "Mother" and "I Miss You". No, I won't be getting over it, thank you. Ever.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic--I've had to do this one less frequently, especially at Mutz. I think some of the regular gals know that I work the ladies in the crowd on this one, and some of them seem to run and hide during it. Guess I can't blame them...after all, considering some of the songs I've sung in the past, who knows what I'm capable of? Right?
Finally, so that you can all judge for yourself, here are the lyrics to "Schiavo" as written by S.R. Dahl, 3/22/05:
Young child in jeans
Sometimes those jeans were too tight
The pounds melt away
When you can't give up the fight
Papa says that he loves to be with you
But you've got no brain
So he turns to the only friend he can find
The evangelical mind
Schiavo when you were young
They used to call you names
The dinner bell was rung
Schiavo you always came
Come today
She went on a diet
Something she said she understood
She wanted less thigh
Starving is never too good
Anorexics lose their potassium
And a dress size or two
All I'm thinking is she looked so tanned and hot
There on the news
Schiavo when you were young
They used to call you names
The dinner bell was rung
Schiavo you always came
Come today
Had a tube and it filled you with breakfast
Michael had other plans
Gotta go and I hope that you'll understand
You'll understand
Schiavo when you were young
They used to call you names
The dinner bell was rung
Schiavo you always came
Come today
Feb 26-Apr 4
NEW--Ace Of Spades--Motorhead--Works very well. Jason (aka Satan) will be proud of me when he hears it. I put the mic stand even higher than I already do, to achieve maximum Lemmy effect. All I need now is a couple of fake boils to stick on my face!
NEW--Ain't No Sunshine--Bill Withers--I felt like challenging myself. Could I get through all 26 "I know"s in one breath? Answer: Almost...I got 25.
American Idiot--Green Day--People love my 'red state agenda' line.
Birthday--The Beatles--Once for Doug and once for myself. We teamed up. Doug likes to do the scream.
NEW--Born To Be Wild--Steppenwolf--Joined Mighty Mouse for an improptu duet. Worked well.
NEW--Boulevard Of Broken Dreams--Green Day--Stole it from Noel. We've sort of been taking turns on this one. Not as strenuous as "American Idiot", but still pushing the range a bit.
Carefree Highway--Gordon Lightfoot--Dusted off some of my lower-range songs while I was sick and my mid-to-high was shot.
The Curly Shuffle--Jump 'n The Saddle Band--Mighty Mouse requested it. Hadn't done it for a while because it's a real workout. But I still get many compliments on it.
NEW--Dear Prudence--The Beatles--Had been sitting in the Need-It pile for some time. Turns out I like hearing it more than singing it.
Detachable Penis--King Missile--Still gets raves even though I'm not singing. WTF?
Drinkin' Bone--Tracy Byrd--Doug hardly sings anymore. Perhaps I've stolen one too many songs from him? Oh well, too bad..."How'd I Wind Up In Jamaica" is next on my to-do list. I just need one specific prop and I'll be ready.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Still nailing it for the most part and still enjoying it.
NEW--Figured You Out--Nickelback
Float On--Modest Mouse--Sam helped me do a song-smashup on this one. I had him sing "Float On" while I tossed in bits of "Sunday Bloody Sunday" which, face it, is what "Float On" sounds a lot like. I think the smashup worked well, though the crowd didn't know what to make of it. Peasants!
NEW--Got The Time--Anthrax--Another one that sat in the Need-It pile too long. Stole it from Jason (aka Satan) who ended up singing just about the whole song with me. I didn't really need that much help though, he was only supposed to do the backup parts.
Hurt--Johnny Cash--Low-range song for when I was sick.
I Don't Like Mondays--The Boomtown Rats--Sung at SWL leading into my birthday. Halfway through I changed "Mondays" to "Birthdays".
I Miss You--Blink 182--Had to come back to this one at some point, because first time I did it I failed to do the obligatory Blink 182 accent. (Someone please explain how a band from San Diego ends up sounding like they're from Jersey?
NEW--I Wanna Be Sedated--The Ramones--Stole it from and then dueted on it with Dusty (aka D-Bizzle). Every now and then I change "Sedated" to "Fellated".
NEW--I'm Too Sexy--Right Said Fred--A recent South Park ep featured a Chinese singer from New Zealand named Wing, who sang songs like "Dancing Queen", "Fernando" and "Sing A Song" in an almost Yoko-esque falsetto. Within hours I was doing a spot-on Wing imitation. Soon after, so was Noel. In a shining example of just how oddly our brains are wired, we somehow decided to sing "I'm Too Sexy" as a duet, both in our Wing voices. Don't ask.
If I Had $1,000,000--Barenaked Ladies
The Lion Sleeps Tonight--The Tokens--Did this while sick. What was I thinking? Someone dueted with me, but I forget whom.
Marijuanaville--David Allan Coe--Have done this 5 times since the last recap. Crowd loves it everywhere I go. What's odd is, I get in trouble for certain other parodies, but this one meets no resistance. I guess there are more potheads out there than I thought. (D&M, is there something I should know about you guys?) I added a new bit: during the instrumental break I sneak off (with mike in hand) for a few pretend hits, then come back in full stoner mode. Doug hopes to have a bong sound effect ready for this part in the near future.
Miserable--Lit--Fucked up my 2nd try at this worse than my 1st. Maybe 3rd time will be a charm, if I make a 3rd try.
Mother--Pink Floyd--Did this March 5th, 3 years to the day she died.
My Happy Ending--Avril Lavigne--While sick, I still had the EVV so I decided to do one from my Avril/Britney/etc batch. I couldn't pick one so I let Doug pick. Bad choice, turns out. Sucked big time.
1979--Smashing Pumpkins--Some guy did "33", first guy I've heard besides myself to try to sound like Billy Corgan. He did good, but being me, I had to throw down.
Oh Pretty Woman--Roy Orbison
One More Minute--Weird Al Yankovic--Crowd loves it, the chicks dig when I sing to them, and I now do Al's fork bit in the middle.
Outside (live acoustic version--Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst--Slowly catching up to the original.
Poisoning Pigeons In The Park--Tom Lehrer--Spring is here. Once solo, and once as a duet with Noel.
NEW--Rawhide--The Blues Brothers--Something low-range while sick. Luckily nobody threw any bottles, because I was fresh out of chicken wire.
NEW--Saturday Night--The Bay City Rollers--In a year and a half of Saturday nights at Mutz, I'd never heard anyone do this one. So I took a shot. Now I know why I never heard it.
NEW--Schiavo--Steve Dahl--Parody of "Shilo" by Neil Diamond. I did it at Center Court the night before she died. Timing is everything.
NEW--She Blocked Me--Bob Ricci--From a flash animation online. Well received.
NEW--Shilo--Neil Diamond--Did this at CC in order to set up "Schiavo", and also to see how the karaoke track goes. The song ends abruptly, without the "Shilo...Shilo..." part at the end. So I moved that part to the middle instrum break on "Schiavo", at which point I also add my imitation of T.S. sounding like something at Sea World. (BTW, my Neil Diamond is right on. Even better than Dahl's, IMHO.)
NEW--Sister Golden Hair--America--Dahl recently had Gerry Beckley on his show and got to perform "SGH" with him. Had to try my hand at it. I came close to lapsing into the EVV a couple times at first, but now my GBV is right on!
NEW--Star Wars Cantina--Mark Jonathan Davis--Parody of "Copacabana", of course. Duet with Noel. Yes, we certainly seem to be kindred spirits.
Tiptoe Thru The Tulips--Tiny Tim--Only because I hadn't done it at Mutz since last spring, so most of my current karaoke comrades hadn't heard my spot-on TTV.
Transcendental Blues--Steve Earle--Got a cold? Voice is raspy? Not sure what to sing at karaoke at a time like this? Well that, my friend, is why Steve Earle is in the book.
Turn The Page--Bob Seger--"You drink the day's last Triple Black..."
Wish You Were Here--Pink Floyd--Also on March 5th, along with "Mother" and "I Miss You". No, I won't be getting over it, thank you. Ever.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic--I've had to do this one less frequently, especially at Mutz. I think some of the regular gals know that I work the ladies in the crowd on this one, and some of them seem to run and hide during it. Guess I can't blame them...after all, considering some of the songs I've sung in the past, who knows what I'm capable of? Right?
Finally, so that you can all judge for yourself, here are the lyrics to "Schiavo" as written by S.R. Dahl, 3/22/05:
Young child in jeans
Sometimes those jeans were too tight
The pounds melt away
When you can't give up the fight
Papa says that he loves to be with you
But you've got no brain
So he turns to the only friend he can find
The evangelical mind
Schiavo when you were young
They used to call you names
The dinner bell was rung
Schiavo you always came
Come today
She went on a diet
Something she said she understood
She wanted less thigh
Starving is never too good
Anorexics lose their potassium
And a dress size or two
All I'm thinking is she looked so tanned and hot
There on the news
Schiavo when you were young
They used to call you names
The dinner bell was rung
Schiavo you always came
Come today
Had a tube and it filled you with breakfast
Michael had other plans
Gotta go and I hope that you'll understand
You'll understand
Schiavo when you were young
They used to call you names
The dinner bell was rung
Schiavo you always came
Come today
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