Friday, November 28, 2003

TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (NOV 28-DEC 4)

10. Reaganomics--Saturday at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
9. Ten Inch Willy--tonight & Saturday at Randy's Last Call
8. Chili Cat--tonight & Saturday at Frog City Sports Pub
7. Geronimo's Cadillac--Saturday at Village Idiot
6. Laurie Swyers and the Blue Sun Band--Saturday at Manhattan's (Okay, it's not that weird a band name, but L.S. wrote the song "Bush's Stinkin' War" to help raise funds for the NWOPC, so I'm taking this opportunity to promote her show.)
5. Vermicious Knids--Saturday at Headliners
4. Everytime I Die--Wednesday at Headliners
3. Poison the Well--Wednesday at Headliners
2. Deep Fried Pickle Project--Saturday at Maxwell's Brew

And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week (and not just because I know the dad of one of the band members)...

1. Lame-O (aka Mullet Millennium)--tonight at Longhorn

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

NO T-BONE STEAK FOR ME, THANKS

An interesting experience, riding shotgun in a car, watching a pair of headlights come right at you, and knowing a t-bone collision is imminent. All you can think is, "Well, this is going to be rather unpleasant." And it was.

No serious injuries resulted, just a lot of soreness. And I'll be sure to write more about this later, but right now I need some sleep.

Friday, November 21, 2003

The Top Ten Band Name list is back from vacation and ready to rock ya with its usual style and finesse. But first, I am happy to announce that I had to remove a name from my Unused Band Name list!

I got an email this week from one of the members of Sado-Massachusetts, a band based in Austin, Texas. They got the name from someone else, but nonetheless he promised to send me some MP3s of their work. IT BEGINS...!

TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (NOV 21-27)

10. Premonitions of War--Sunday at Mickey Finn's Pub
9. Ekoostik Hookah--Wednesday at Bijou Theatre (no, not THAT Bijou)
8. Backstabbers Inc.--Sunday at Mickey Finn's Pub
7. Fat Dog--tonight at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
6. The Duhks--Monday at Mickey Finn's Pub
5. Ooba Tooba--Saturday at Fat Tuesdays
4. Driftwood Whale--tonight at Frog City Sports Pub
3. A Perfect Murder--Sunday at Mickey Finn's Pub
2. Voodoo Libido--Saturday at Griffin's Hines Farm Blues Club

And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week...

1. Rat Salad--Saturday at Frog City Sports Pub

Monday, November 17, 2003

"COME BACK TOMORROW NIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO...FRACTIONS!"

Below are two recent letters to the Blade editorial department. The first was published Sunday. The second has not yet been published, as I just now fired it off.

***

Maybe it's correct in Land of Oz, but ...
We are the members of the pre-calculus class at Cory-Rawson High School. Sunday night WTBS will be airing The Wizard of Oz. In one of the final scenes of the movie, the scarecrow, upon receiving his diploma, states, "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!"

This is an inaccurate attempt to state the Pythagorean Theorem and, as mathematicians, we find this highly offensive. This movie is clearly intended for mathematically mature audiences.

We offer this suggestion for parents with young children: Please preview the movie so that you can mute the sound at the right moment. Then, following the movie, sit down with your children and have a frank discussion about the Pythagorean Theorem.

Cory-Rawson High School Pre-Calculus Class
Rawson, Ohio

Editor's note: Students who signed the letter are Crystal Turner, Ryan Morrison, Brian Ferris, Brittney Rapp, Andy Cox, Jimmy Klay, Allison Bormuth, Luke J. Erford, Jenna Wood, Jason Bormuth, Melanie Weihrauch, Casey Jensen, Lori Webb, Landon Hamilton, Craig Van Stein, Cody Conaway, Jesse Anderson, Daniel Dray, and Jameson Businger. Their teacher is Chris Leuthold.

***

Regarding the Scarecrow's incorrect stating of the Pythagorean Theorem in "The Wizard of Oz":

ALF correctly stated the Pythagorean Theorem on an episode of his show: "The square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides."

Obviously the inhabitants of the planet Melmac had a much better math education than the inhabitants of the Land of Oz.

DOUG PRIBE
South Avenue

Friday, November 14, 2003

THE TOP TEN BEST BAND NAME LIST IS TAKING THE WEEK OFF

Sorry, there just wasn't a very good selection of new and interesting band names this week. (Unless you count "Battered Women's Shelter Benefit", which I don't think is a band name.)

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

YEAH, I'M A CAMERA WHORE...WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

Wow, what a busy weekend my fellow commie fag junkie terrorist hippie co-conspirators and I had.

Citizens for Individual Rights and Freedoms (CIRF) scheduled a whirlwind slate of activities this past weekend, which ended up being bookended by two press conferences with decidedly different outcomes. But looking back on both, we couldn't have scripted the whole drama any better.

Friday night we put on a play about the Bill of Rights and how it's been eroded by the so-called Patriot Act (hereafter abbreviated to 'scPA'). Our troupe doesn't have an iron-clad name, but I'm pushing for the Patri-Actors. Or maybe the Patriot Players, or Peace Players...whatever, as long as it involves a nice alliteration. Our debut performance was received warmly. I played the "bell ringer", although I actually had to use a triangle (blame the prop department). I opened the show with the Preamble and a few ad libs, and closed it on a serious note with a quote from Benjamin Franklin (I paraphrased): "Those who are willing to sacrifice liberty for the sake of security deserve neither." There's talk of us maybe touring the city. Broadway can't be far off. (Or maybe East Broadway.)

Saturday afternoon we presented a couple of films about the scPA to a packed-to-the-rafters crowd, which I have to believe was due in large part to the mention we got in Roberta de Boer's column that day. Dare I say we had more butts in the seats in that room than were in most movie theaters in town that afternoon. A lengthy and lively discussion followed, which bought me just enough time to be able to head down the road to UT afterward to view the lunar eclipse that evening.

Sunday afternoon was our march near Franklin Park mall, and it was a smashing success! (Um, yeah...that's an in-joke for those who were there. [grin]) We marched a hundred strong around the block containing the mall, with our "The P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act is unpatriotic" banner leading the way. Lots of great signs in the crowd...my personal fave: "This is a patriot act!" Also good were "Don't fight for freedom by curtailing mine" and "Stop the war on dissent" (okay, that one was mine). Channel 13 got a great long-distance money shot of the march and the banner out front (yes, I'm visible) and I captured it all on the VCR. Bee-yoo-tee-full!

But aside from the spectacular march, nothing could top the goings-on down at One Government Center both Thursday and Monday, which I'll now recap for those who missed the whole shebang...

Thursday, a very small group (about 5 or 6) of us from CIRF joined council members Pete Gerken and Frank Szollosi in the lobby of 1GC to hold a press conference about the resolution. Two other CIRFers and I held up the aforementioned banner behind the podium as CIRFer Linda, flanked by Pete and Frank, spoke to camera crews from chs. 24 and 36. About a minute in, one of the state troopers patrolling the building and a suit appeared. "You're gonna hafta take it outside," the suit says to me. I think to myself "Oh boy, here we go, this mild-mannered little press confo is about to get REALLY interesting." I stand my ground.

Pete comes over and the suit tells him the same. Linda keeps rolling right along with her statement, despite the fact that the TV cameras have now panned over in our direction as Pete stands his ground and argues his point. He held a press confo just a day earlier in the same spot on a different subject and no one said a thing. The suit insists that we leave or else the stormtroopers will escort us all out. Pete is defiant, and the next thing you know...well, you've seen the video by now of Pete being shown the front door. Not wanting the nonsense to get too out of hand, the rest of us decide to pause the proceedings and continue them outside.

Now, riddle me this, Batman: If they don't want council members or anyone else making statements in the lobby, then WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING PODIUM?! (Guess I shouldn't say that though...watch it disappear now.)

So what starts out as a very low-key, sparsely populated little announcement about our resolution against the scPA has now morphed into a brouhaha about elected officials being thrown out of the city hall lobby. (BTW, as I understand it, this was the first time ever that any elected official had been kicked out of the building. Not even that tirade-prone, anger-mismanaged, rabies-infected psycho nutcase Carty Finkbeiner ever accomplished that!)

After we set up shop out front, Pete and Frank got plenty of camera time, out of earshot of me as I stood there thinking how great a scene was playing out, how we're sure to make the evening news and get the word out about the evils of the scPA. "It's the 60s all over again, baby," I said to CIRFer Terry.

Alas, when I got home and rolled tape on 24's 6 o'clock, my erection waned. 24 made it all about councilman Pete getting booted. (Of course councilman Frank had to go outside too, but councilman Frank wasn't on tape being dramatically escorted out by a stormtrooper.) The subject of the resolution, the reason we were there in the first place, became an afterthought.

(Okay, I didn't want to bring this up, but I really should at this point. During the Sunday march there were a couple of rear-ender fender-benders, and it's fair to say that one of the drivers was distracted by us. Mind you, as bad as all of us CIRFers feel about this, the fact is that it's the driver's responsibility to control his vehicle, maintain a safe following distance, etc. Luckily there were no serious injuries.

Anyhoo, when I tuned in to 24's coverage of the march, once again they shoved our main message to the back burner and shifted the focus of the story to the accidents. I suppose if, during our Monday press confo, one of the state troopers had stubbed his toe, 24's coverage that night would feature a live report from outside the ER. "Jim, we're told the trooper will have to wear special socks for 2-3 weeks. Once again, it was his left big toe. Back to you in the studio.")

So that along with the fact that I watched the first 20 minutes of 36's 10 o'clock with no mention of the incident left me rather pissed through my Friday workday. But once I got home, there was Pete and the 'bouncers' right on the Blade's front page. And 24's online video clips (^linked up top^) had much better coverage than on their newscast, and didn't completely ignore our main message.

And then there was our triumphant reassembly Monday, right back in the same spot, but with more council members, more CIRFers, more cameras, and no more bum's rush! No less than 7 of the 12 council members (the rest had valid excuses for their absence and were supportive or their colleagues) were there, including council prez Lou Escobar, as Pete and Frank got a second chance to speak at the conveniently-placed podium. Mayor Jack Ford poked his head out of his hole (not sure if he saw his shadow or not) for a minute to view the scene from the sidelines.

And even though they only addressed their right to speak there in the 1GC lobby, the CIRFers present (well over a dozen of us) were waved over to stand behind them in a show of support, and we did our best to turn the tables right back around on everyone and bring attention back to our original message, holding up plenty of signs and, of course, the now-legendary banner for all the media to get a nice money shot of, which they did. (Afterward, being the camera whore that I am, I did my best to hold up a sign in the background for as many post-confo TV interviews as possible.)

In the end, though, only 13 and the Blade made use of the money shot or anything else as far as I could tell. I painstakingly scoured the late casts on 11, 24 and 36, with no sign of us. 36 committed the worst case of reneging. They filmed a nice statement by CIRFer Karen on Thursday that ended up on the cutting room floor. Monday they made a point of giving her another shot to speak on camera, and the cameraman even signaled me to better position my sign behind her. But come 10pm, nothing nada zip zero zilch made it to air.

Thankfully the Blade did us more justice than the 4 TV stations combined, Roberta de Boer ran another column, and the banner money shot made the front page of the second section (If you look closely you can see my arm way over on the right! Woohoo!), a bit of a demotion but still far better than 3 of the 4 TV stations. 13's post-MNF cast included security camera footage from Thursday, which shows me standing right behind Pete as he was about to get bounced, and their footage from Monday included a close-up of yours truly, so they must have recognized me from the security cam footage.

And something tells me they weren't the only ones. Today I got a letter from the IRS about my unpaid taxes, which of course, as a war resister, I refused to pay. (I included a note with my return stating as much, can't they read?) Tell me Big Bro ain't watching. Hi mom!

So if and when I'm in that lobby again, I'm going to seek out the security cam and, just like the guy in "Surveillance Report" (one of the films we showed Saturday), I'll make sure they can read my lips as I mouth a silent "Fuck you!"

Friday, November 07, 2003

TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (NOV 7-13)

10. Watermelon Men--Sun at Secor Lanes
9. Mad Cows--Sat at Mainstreet Roadhouse
8. 2 Big Guitars--Tue at Mickey Finn's Pub
7. Pal Joey and da Sicilian Playboys--tonight & Sat at Firehouse 47 Bar and Grill
6. D.A. and the Prosecutors--tonight at Panama J's
5. Five Card Stud--tonight & Sat at Gametime Sports Pub
4. Oval Opus--Sat at Headliners
3. Creamy Goodness--tonight & Sat at Frog City Sports Pub
2. Child Proof Toys--tonight & Sat at the Barn

And the number one best band name playing the Toledo area this week...

1. Citizens for Individual Rights and Freedoms (CIRF)--tonight at St Mark's Church, Sat at Sanger Branch Library, Sun at Franklin Park Mall

Okay, so we're not actually a band. Hey, a little shameless self-promotion never hurt anyone :)

CIRF'S UP!

Reclaim your civil liberties with a weekend of events opposing one of the most unpatriotic of documents, the USA-Patriot Act. YOUR ATTENDANCE SENDS A MESSAGE! PLEASE JOIN US!!

Tonight at 7:30 at St Mark's Church, 2272 Collingwood--A one-act play about the Patriot Act (featuring yours truly). Learn how six of the first 10 Amendments to the U.S. Constitution have been repealed.

Saturday at 3pm at Sanger Branch Library, 3030 W. Central--Two short films about the Patriot Act, presented by the Media Decompresion Collective. Come hear the facts the mainstream news does not want you to know on how the Patriot Act affects our rights and ultimately our lives.

Sunday at 2pm near Franklin Park Mall--March at Monroe and Talmadge. TAKE BACK THE BILL OF RIGHTS!!! All events are free and open to the public. Sponsored by the Media Decompression Collective and the NW Ohio Peace Coalition.

Already we've caused a stir: Our press conference yesterday afternoon, promoting the weekend events and the City Council resolution condemning the Patriot Act, made the evening newscasts on channels 24 and 36. (I got on camera on both stations, and I captured it all on tape.) Plus the story made the front page of today's Blade. No such thing as bad publicity, baby! For more, check out the links ^up top^.