MR. COLOREDWELL'S SPORTS FASHION REPORT

Okay, first let's get caught up with my March notes, of which there were only 2, and both Toronto-based...

Finally got a look at the Maple Leafs in March, and as expected they are fabulous. And the Raptors wore green the day before St Patty's. But they still had that half-belt crap like the Mavs. What a waste.

And then just this afternoon...Ick. The Celtics in green with black trim, including spooge. Ick. It's so bad I had to give a win to Miami. And I hate Miami!

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Yes, the rumours are true, I've been taking notes on Major League Baseball unis. What am I, goofy?! To be fair, most of the baseball teams are actually dressing quite well. Lots of block numbers and not a speck of spooge. Here's my notes so far...

The Cleveland Indians have some very good throwbacks this year. Creamy goodness!

The Milwaukee Brewers were in throwbacks April 8. How great is their old mitt logo? A classic! So, of course, they ditched

it for their current shitty look.

The Atlanta Braves have a very nice red jersey for Sunday games.

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Now, a quick review of college basketball unis during March Madness...

Top 9 best-dressed, in alphabetical order:
CLEMSON: Orange with purple trim, lovely colors.
DUKE: No mistakes in white. (Didn't see them in blue.)
GEORGETOWN: The light is grey, follow the path.
MCNEESE STATE: Yellow with blue trim, very cute.
MOREHEAD STATE: Looking good in blue, but they'd make the list on the name alone!
NORTH CAROLINA: Didn't get to see their light blue uni, but it still looks good as trim on white.
OHIO STATE: The light is grey, follow the path.
PURDUE: In gold, priceless.
UCLA: Either in blue or white, with gold trim, Bruins look just as awesome as in football.
All the above had block numbers and no spooge. We have a 3-way tie for 10th with a few problems:
BUTLER: In white their one flaw emerged, a bit of blue spooge on the shorts, which I then noticed was just barely detectable on their black uni.
RICHMOND: The Spideys looked good in blue or white, but in red they had spooge.
WASHINGTON STATE: The light is grey, follow the path. But lose the occasional "COUGS" on the front. It's just dumb.

As for the worst-dressed, ugly number fonts and spooge were rampant, so there were plenty of candidates to choose from. But the one uni that drooped far below the rest was the disgusting droopy-drawers look of...
WOFFORD
The rest of the 20 worst-dressed, in alphabetical order:
(see previous posts for how they got on this list)
BOSTON COLLEGE
BUCKNELL
CALIFORNIA
CINCINNATI
COASTAL CAROLINA
FLORIDA
FLORIDA STATE
KANSAS
MARQUETTE
MIAMI FL
MICHIGAN STATE
MISSOURI STATE
PRINCETON
ST JOHN'S
ST MARY'S
ST PETER'S
VANDERBILT
WASHINGTON
WISCONSIN

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MLB FASHION STANDINGS 2011 AS OF APR 10
Houston Astros 2-0
St Louis Cardinals 2-0
Atlanta Braves 1-0
New York Mets 1-0
Oakland Athletics 1-0
Chicago Cubs 5-1
Baltimore Orioles 2-1
Kansas City Royals 2-1
San Francisco Giants 2-1
New York Yankees 5-3
Cincinnati Reds 3-2
Boston Red Sox 5-4
Chicago White Sox 2-2
Los Angeles Dodgers 1-1
Minnesota Twins 1-1
Seattle Mariners 2-2
Cleveland Indians 4-5
Detroit Tigers 4-5
Milwaukee Brewers 2-4
Tampa Bay Rays 0-1
Arizona Diamondbacks 0-2
San Diego Padres 0-2
Philadelphia Phillies 0-3
Pittsburgh Pirates 0-3
Texas Rangers 0-3
Anaheim Angels
Colorado Rockies
Florida Marlins
Toronto Blue Jays
Washington Nationals

NHL FASHION STANDINGS 2010-2011 AS OF APR 10
TEAM W-L GAME-BY-GAME
Toronto Maple Leafs 2-0 ww
Philadelphia Flyers 10-2 wwwwwlwlwwww
Detroit Red Wings 66-14 wlwwwwwwwllwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlwwllwwwwlwwwwwwwlwwwwwwlwwwlwwlwwwwwwwwlwwlwwwwwwl
Chicago Blackhawks 14-4 wwwwwwwwwlwwwllwlw
Boston Bruins 10-3 wwwlwwwwwwlwl
New York Islanders 2-1 wlw
New York Rangers 8-6 wwlwwwlllwllww
Buffalo Sabres 6-5 llllwlwwwww
New Jersey Devils 3-3 lwwllw
Minnesota Wild 6-6 lwwlwlllwwwl
Florida Panthers 1-1 wl
Dallas Stars 3-4 lwllwwl
Calgary Flames 2-3 lwllw
St Louis Blues 4-7 wlwllwwllll
Columbus Blue Jackets 3-6 wllwllllw
Edmonton Oilers 1-2 lwl
Montreal Canadiens 2-5 llwllwl
Tampa Bay Lightning 2-5 lwlllwl
Carolina Hurricanes 1-3 wlll
Vancouver Canucks 1-3 wlll
Pittsburgh Penguins 3-12 lllllllwlwwllll
San Jose Sharks 2-9 lllllwllllw
Nashville Predators 1-6 lllllwl
Phoenix Coyotes 1-7 llllllwl
Washington Capitals 1-15 lllllwllllllllll
Ottawa Senators 0-1 l
Atlanta Thrashers 0-2 ll
Anaheim Ducks 0-5 lllll
Los Angeles Kings 0-7 lllllll
Colorado Avalanche 0-8 llllllll

NBA FASHION STANDINGS 2010-2011 AS OF APR 10
TEAM W-L GAME-BY-GAME
New Jersey Nets 5-0 wwwww
San Antonio Spurs 19-1 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlw
Boston Celtics 26-4 wwwlwwwwwlwwwlwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl
Utah Jazz 12-2 wwwwwlwwwwwwlw
New York Knicks 15-3 wwwwlwwlwwwwwwwwlw
Chicago Bulls 25-10 wlwwlwwlwlwwwlwwwwwwwwllwlwwlwwwwlw
Los Angeles Lakers 18-8 wwwlwwwwwwwwllllwwlwwlwwlw
Philadelphia 76ers 2-1 lww
Golden State Warriors 7-4 wwwlwwllwwl
Phoenix Suns 12-7 llwwwwwwllwwllwwwwl
Milwaukee Bucks 5-4 lwwwlllww
Detroit Pistons 40-35 lllwwlwwwllwwllwwwlwwwwwwwwlwlllllllwwwlllwlwlwlllwlwwwlwllwwwlwwwlwlwlllwlw
Houston Rockets 3-3 lwllww
New Orleans Hornets 2-2 llww
Cleveland Cavaliers 4-4 wwlllwlw
Denver Nuggets 10-10 wwwllwwwllwlwllwlllw
Memphis Grizzlies 2-2 wlwl
Oklahoma City Thunder 8-9 lwwwllwwllllwllww
Portland Trail Blazers 5-11 wllllwwllwlllwll
Miami Heat 8-22 lwllwllllllllllwwwlllwlllllwlw
Indiana Pacers 1-3 lllw
Sacramento Kings 1-5 llwlll
Atlanta Hawks 1-10 llwllllllll
Orlando Magic 1-24 wllllllllllllllllllllllll
Minnesota Timberwolves 0-3 lll
Charlotte Bobcats 0-5 lllll
Toronto Raptors 0-6 llllll
Washington Wizards 0-7 lllllll
Los Angeles Clippers 0-8 llllllll
Dallas Mavericks 0-18 llllllllllllllllll

MR. COLOREDWELL'S MARCH MADNESS FINAL FOUR FASHION REPORT

Let's get these off my plate while I work on a full report which I hope to post Sunday...

NIT FINAL FOUR:

WASHINGTON STATE (grey) VS WICHITA STATE (black)
Both blocks. Wich has spooge. "Cougs" is back...ick. Still, Wash follows the Path.
WINNER: WASHINGTON STATE

COLORADO (grey) VS ALABAMA (red)
Col follows the Path, but with italic blocks and leg crap. Bama looks good in red, no spooge. Non-blocks but they're not

ugly.
WINNER: ALABAMA

NIT FINAL: ALABAMA (white) VS WICHITA STATE (black)
Bama's non-blocks beat Wich's spooge.
WINNER: ALABAMA

NCAA FINAL FOUR:
BUTLER (white) VS VCU (black)
Both blocks. Spooge on Butler? Ick! But VCU's is much worse.
WINNER: BUTLER

CONNECTICUT (white) VS KENTUCKY (blue)
Both have side crap. UConn has a bad font, KY has blocks and nice shade of blue.
WINNER: KENTUCKY

NCAA FINAL: CONNECTICUT (white) VS BUTLER (black)
No surprises here. Knew going in Butler's black and blocks would beat UConn's ugly skinny numbers and leg crap.
WINNER: BUTLER

Out of respect for the late Roger Abbott, Mr. Coloredwell's next report will be posted later this week. Meanwhile, please enjoy the tribute clips below.