R.I.P., MUTZ

Well, tonight was our last night of karaoke at Mutz. It's not like we didn't see it coming, they pretty much killed it 6 months ago by remodeling it for the worse. Tonight was just the last shovel of dirt on the grave. A couple of friends and I had the honor of singing the very last song, "The Way We Were". I thought it quite fitting.

I spent much of the last 4+ years down there, and I take away many fond and lasting memories, as well as many damn good friendships with fellow karaoke enthusiasts: Noel & Kristy, Levi, Tenacious Sam, the Lizard Queen, ProZak, Matt P., Jennel, Josh, Minko, many others too numerous to mention, and of course Doug and Micki.

What can I say? The place changed my life, in good ways and, occasionally, bad ways. On the good side, I got some pussy via the place! On the bad side, the pussy belonged to a total psychobitch from hell. But as the song says, "what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget...so it's the laughter I will remember":

* Noel's cellphone recording of a drunk Tenacious Sam out front, singing "YOU MAKE ME FEEL...YOU MAKE ME FEEL...[long pause]...BITCH!...YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAAAAAN!"

* The crowd reaction every Halloween as I revealed my drag outfit during "Sweet Transvestite".

* The crowd reaction when I dropped the C-bomb during "Jagged Little Parody"...all the guys let out a collective "WHOOOA!" as if they were on a roller coaster, while half the gals flipped me off.

* Noel and I and our many performances of "Boulevard Of Broken Songs".

* Picking up Tenacious Sam to pull off a couple of swing-dance moves during "Kiss".

* Drowning out an obnoxious UM fan after yet another OSU victory by yelling "O-H!" at the top of my very LOUD lungs, followed by an almost-as-loud "I-O!" from the mostly OSU crowd. His finished his song and promptly hightailed it out of there. (Doug said it best...I'm the only person who doesn't even need a mic!)

* All the fun summer nights singing outside in the courtyard between the bars. Outdoor karaoke...can't do that anywhere else! (Except maybe at a corn maze)

* Belting out "Anarchy In The UK" while standing on top of a barstool, shortly after Saddam Hussein's execution, with the handwritten sign "EXECUTE GEORGE NEXT!" duct-taped to my forehead.

* The dozens of times I whipped out that fork during "One More Minute"...never fails to get a laugh.

I could go on for hours. But I won't.

Thanks to all my pals with whom I had fun at what used to be the best karaoke spot in town. It was a heck of a 4.25-year run.

But PKE still has plenty of other shows, including my own weekly gig at Woodchuck's. Here's to creating new fond memories at all our other haunts! See you there!

DAN IS THE MAN



I must give a huge shoutout to astronaut Daniel Tani, who returned home from the ISS this week after 4 long months in earth orbit (twice as long as scheduled) during which his mother met a most untimely death.

My mom's death was plenty tough on me, and I got to sleep in my own bed afterwards. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for Dan to be stranded in space during all that, missing the funeral and not being with his loved ones and whatnot.

Needless to say, he did the only thing he could do to cope. He kept right on doing his job up there. And given the circumstances, he did one heck of a job. (And some say there are no more heroes in this world.)

Welcome home, Dan. The Duck Pond salutes you. You are the man!