KARAOKE RECAPS

SAT FEB 19, MUTZ, 4 SONGS

Was all set to do Anthrax, but Jason (aka Satan) was a no-show, as were just about all the other 'karaoke all-stars', i.e. Bev, Levi, Noel, Sam, etc. In their place were my new comrades Erica, David and Josh, and a couple of coke fiends we all hope to never see again! Eeeeeeeeee.

The Rose--Bette Midler--For my cousin Wendy, who died the week before last, and who was singing in bars, with a band, at age 11, before there was such a thing as karaoke, belting out Benatar and the like. This was one of her faves, and it was played at her memorial service. (I know, I know, I have a tendency to sing songs for dead people. Well, if they'd stop dying on me I could take a break!)
The Saga Begins--Weird Al Yankovic--Some guy did "American Pie". Had to follow with this. Just call me Pavlov's Duck.
Daughter--Pearl Jam--Sent this one out to that homophobic moron Alan Keyes, whose daughter Maya came out last week and was prompty disowned by the brainless asswipe. "Hey hey, my my, Alan Keyes can eat shit and die!"
Detachable Penis--King Missile--D&M requested it. Micki wasn't there last week and missed it. Rave reviews once again. No one seems to care that I'm not actually singing. Whatever.

MON FEB 21, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS
Miserable--Lit--Went through my "Need-it's", picked this out for no particular reason, and only messed up twice. Next time, I'll nail it.
Beat Me--CustomWell within vocal range, but very tough to breathe properly through.

KARAOKE RECAP: SAT FEB 12, MUTZ, 4 SONGS

Turn The Page--Bob Seger--Had to try my new lyric change: "You drink the day's last Triple Black, remembering what she said..."
Take A Picture--Filter--Love it, gotta get good at it. Went lower on the shouting part, seemed to work.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--It was either this or "Got The Time" by Anthrax for Jason (aka Satan), but Radiohead fan Levi showed up first. Tonight, J, I'm doing Anthrax, I promise!
Detachable Penis--King Missile--Someone else put this in and then didn't show, so I offered to fill in. Surprisingly well-received. Even got the crowd singing along on the "Detachable Penis" part. Fuck, all I did was recite the lyrics! It's not even sung! They loved it anyway. Go fig.

QUOTE DU JOUR

"February 2 was Groundhog Day. It was also the day W gave his State of the Union Address. It was an ironic juxtaposition of events: One involved a meaningless ritual in which we looked to a creature of little intelligence for an accurate prognostication of the future. The other involved a groundhog."

--Terry "T-Dog" Lodge

KARAOKE RECAP: MON FEB 7, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS

Missed Mutz on the 5th due to my ankle injury. Managed to hobble to SWL on crutches.

NEW--Do You Really Want To Hurt Me--Culture Club--Heard this the night before, thot it would sound good in the EVV voice. Not bad.
NEW--Take A Picture--Filter--Heard this on Dahl a couple of weeks ago, can't stop listening to it, had to try it.

KARAOKE RECAPS

Sorry folks, but I wanted to take at least a week off to mourn the passing of Mr. Carson. Plus I've had other stressful situations to deal with lately. On top of it all, I fucked up my ankle slipping on ice Tuesday night while leaving for work. To quote the Rutles: "Ouch! Ow! Ow! Ouch!"

So while I'm stuck here, hobbled, I might as well catch up on these...

SAT JAN 22, MUTZ, 4 SONGS
Runaway Train--Soul Asylum--I just felt like it.
NEW--In My Life--The Beatles--Popped into my head on the way down there. So I tried it. Not bad.
Float On--Modest Mouse--By request.
Big Bottom--Spinal Tap--Someone did "Baby Got Back", someone else did "Fat Bottomed Girls", so I had to complete the hat trick.

MON JAN 24, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 3 SONGS
NEW--I'll Be Seeing You; NEW--One For My Baby; Tiptoe Thru The Tulips
A triple tribute to Johnny: His favorite song, followed by the one Bette Midler did on the next-to-last show, and finally Tiny Tim just for the heck of it.

SAT JAN 29, MUTZ, 5 SONGS
One For My Baby--Frank Sinatra--Had to do at least one of these at Mutz.
Masochism Tango--Tom Lehrer--Duet with Noel. Had to school him on it.
Stealin'--Uriah HeepI hadn't sung it in a while.
American Idiot--Green Day--A couple of idiots did "Back When" billing themselves as "The Republicans". So I countered with this in the interest of equal time. I got the better response, especially with my slight lyric change "I'm not a part of a red state agenda". My peeps love that.
Love Shack--The B-52's--Two ladies asked me to suggest a song for them. I pitched this as one I could help them with. Who am I to pass up a 3-way with two women?

MON JAN 31, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 1 SONG
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Was gonna do "American Idiot" but didn't feel my voice was 100% so I switched. What the fuck was I thinking?!

Okay, that should take care of any outstanding business. Now I can get back to sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

***

BONUS POST:

RE: THE TSUNAMI SONG

By now you've probably heard the ruckus over "The Tsunami Song", which got a gaggle of radio jocks canned in NYC. Of course, most news outlets reporting the story will, predictably, never pass along the actual lyrics, so you, Joe Q. Public, can judge for yourself.

So I hit my preferred file-sharing site, found the tune, gave it a listen, and in my humble opinion, from a musical standpoint, you're not missing much. The singing is lame, the pacing is lame, and it's just plain not funny. Even if I weren't offended by the racial slurs, I still wouldn't laugh at the song. It sucks. It wallows in lameness. If I were the one in charge of that station I would have fired the lot of them for not being funny, I wouldn't even get to the racial slurs and whatnot.

Still, for those who want to peruse the lyrics, here ya go, knock yourself out...

***
There was a time when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away

And all at once you could hear the screaming chinks
And no one was safe from the wave
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away
You could hear God laughing, "Swim, you bitches, swim"

So now you're screwed, it's the tsunami
You better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
And now your children will be sold to child slavery
***

PS: I couldn't help but be reminded of another "We Are The World" parody, this one from about 20 years ago. Willie and I recorded this one back in Grand Rapids. Looking back now, it was also pretty stupid, but we had an excuse: We were a couple of weird 19-year-olds dealing with the insane environment of Job Corps!

"We Are The Snot"
There comes a time when we pick a certain nose
When the snot must come together as one
There are boogers flying
And it's time to lend a finger to snot
The greatest gift of all

We keep it loose, picking day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon pick a nose
We're all a part of snot's great big family
And the truth, you know snot is all we need

(chorus)
We are the snot, we are the sickening
We are the ones who make a tasty snack
So let's start picking
There's a nose we're picking
We're picking our own nose
It's true we pick a brighter nose
Just you and me

Well, send 'em your snot
So they know that someone cares
And their nose will be stronger and free
As snot has shown us
By turning fingers green
And so we all must lend a helping finger

(repeat chorus)

When you're down and out
There seems no snot at all
But if you just believe
There's no snot that will fall
Well, well, well, let's realize
That a snot can only come
When we pick together as one
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!

(repeat chorus ad nauseam)

(c) 1985 by USA For Mucus