YEAH, I'M A CAMERA WHORE...WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

Wow, what a busy weekend my fellow commie fag junkie terrorist hippie co-conspirators and I had.

Citizens for Individual Rights and Freedoms (CIRF) scheduled a whirlwind slate of activities this past weekend, which ended up being bookended by two press conferences with decidedly different outcomes. But looking back on both, we couldn't have scripted the whole drama any better.

Friday night we put on a play about the Bill of Rights and how it's been eroded by the so-called Patriot Act (hereafter abbreviated to 'scPA'). Our troupe doesn't have an iron-clad name, but I'm pushing for the Patri-Actors. Or maybe the Patriot Players, or Peace Players...whatever, as long as it involves a nice alliteration. Our debut performance was received warmly. I played the "bell ringer", although I actually had to use a triangle (blame the prop department). I opened the show with the Preamble and a few ad libs, and closed it on a serious note with a quote from Benjamin Franklin (I paraphrased): "Those who are willing to sacrifice liberty for the sake of security deserve neither." There's talk of us maybe touring the city. Broadway can't be far off. (Or maybe East Broadway.)

Saturday afternoon we presented a couple of films about the scPA to a packed-to-the-rafters crowd, which I have to believe was due in large part to the mention we got in Roberta de Boer's column that day. Dare I say we had more butts in the seats in that room than were in most movie theaters in town that afternoon. A lengthy and lively discussion followed, which bought me just enough time to be able to head down the road to UT afterward to view the lunar eclipse that evening.

Sunday afternoon was our march near Franklin Park mall, and it was a smashing success! (Um, yeah...that's an in-joke for those who were there. [grin]) We marched a hundred strong around the block containing the mall, with our "The P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act is unpatriotic" banner leading the way. Lots of great signs in the crowd...my personal fave: "This is a patriot act!" Also good were "Don't fight for freedom by curtailing mine" and "Stop the war on dissent" (okay, that one was mine). Channel 13 got a great long-distance money shot of the march and the banner out front (yes, I'm visible) and I captured it all on the VCR. Bee-yoo-tee-full!

But aside from the spectacular march, nothing could top the goings-on down at One Government Center both Thursday and Monday, which I'll now recap for those who missed the whole shebang...

Thursday, a very small group (about 5 or 6) of us from CIRF joined council members Pete Gerken and Frank Szollosi in the lobby of 1GC to hold a press conference about the resolution. Two other CIRFers and I held up the aforementioned banner behind the podium as CIRFer Linda, flanked by Pete and Frank, spoke to camera crews from chs. 24 and 36. About a minute in, one of the state troopers patrolling the building and a suit appeared. "You're gonna hafta take it outside," the suit says to me. I think to myself "Oh boy, here we go, this mild-mannered little press confo is about to get REALLY interesting." I stand my ground.

Pete comes over and the suit tells him the same. Linda keeps rolling right along with her statement, despite the fact that the TV cameras have now panned over in our direction as Pete stands his ground and argues his point. He held a press confo just a day earlier in the same spot on a different subject and no one said a thing. The suit insists that we leave or else the stormtroopers will escort us all out. Pete is defiant, and the next thing you know...well, you've seen the video by now of Pete being shown the front door. Not wanting the nonsense to get too out of hand, the rest of us decide to pause the proceedings and continue them outside.

Now, riddle me this, Batman: If they don't want council members or anyone else making statements in the lobby, then WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING PODIUM?! (Guess I shouldn't say that though...watch it disappear now.)

So what starts out as a very low-key, sparsely populated little announcement about our resolution against the scPA has now morphed into a brouhaha about elected officials being thrown out of the city hall lobby. (BTW, as I understand it, this was the first time ever that any elected official had been kicked out of the building. Not even that tirade-prone, anger-mismanaged, rabies-infected psycho nutcase Carty Finkbeiner ever accomplished that!)

After we set up shop out front, Pete and Frank got plenty of camera time, out of earshot of me as I stood there thinking how great a scene was playing out, how we're sure to make the evening news and get the word out about the evils of the scPA. "It's the 60s all over again, baby," I said to CIRFer Terry.

Alas, when I got home and rolled tape on 24's 6 o'clock, my erection waned. 24 made it all about councilman Pete getting booted. (Of course councilman Frank had to go outside too, but councilman Frank wasn't on tape being dramatically escorted out by a stormtrooper.) The subject of the resolution, the reason we were there in the first place, became an afterthought.

(Okay, I didn't want to bring this up, but I really should at this point. During the Sunday march there were a couple of rear-ender fender-benders, and it's fair to say that one of the drivers was distracted by us. Mind you, as bad as all of us CIRFers feel about this, the fact is that it's the driver's responsibility to control his vehicle, maintain a safe following distance, etc. Luckily there were no serious injuries.

Anyhoo, when I tuned in to 24's coverage of the march, once again they shoved our main message to the back burner and shifted the focus of the story to the accidents. I suppose if, during our Monday press confo, one of the state troopers had stubbed his toe, 24's coverage that night would feature a live report from outside the ER. "Jim, we're told the trooper will have to wear special socks for 2-3 weeks. Once again, it was his left big toe. Back to you in the studio.")

So that along with the fact that I watched the first 20 minutes of 36's 10 o'clock with no mention of the incident left me rather pissed through my Friday workday. But once I got home, there was Pete and the 'bouncers' right on the Blade's front page. And 24's online video clips (^linked up top^) had much better coverage than on their newscast, and didn't completely ignore our main message.

And then there was our triumphant reassembly Monday, right back in the same spot, but with more council members, more CIRFers, more cameras, and no more bum's rush! No less than 7 of the 12 council members (the rest had valid excuses for their absence and were supportive or their colleagues) were there, including council prez Lou Escobar, as Pete and Frank got a second chance to speak at the conveniently-placed podium. Mayor Jack Ford poked his head out of his hole (not sure if he saw his shadow or not) for a minute to view the scene from the sidelines.

And even though they only addressed their right to speak there in the 1GC lobby, the CIRFers present (well over a dozen of us) were waved over to stand behind them in a show of support, and we did our best to turn the tables right back around on everyone and bring attention back to our original message, holding up plenty of signs and, of course, the now-legendary banner for all the media to get a nice money shot of, which they did. (Afterward, being the camera whore that I am, I did my best to hold up a sign in the background for as many post-confo TV interviews as possible.)

In the end, though, only 13 and the Blade made use of the money shot or anything else as far as I could tell. I painstakingly scoured the late casts on 11, 24 and 36, with no sign of us. 36 committed the worst case of reneging. They filmed a nice statement by CIRFer Karen on Thursday that ended up on the cutting room floor. Monday they made a point of giving her another shot to speak on camera, and the cameraman even signaled me to better position my sign behind her. But come 10pm, nothing nada zip zero zilch made it to air.

Thankfully the Blade did us more justice than the 4 TV stations combined, Roberta de Boer ran another column, and the banner money shot made the front page of the second section (If you look closely you can see my arm way over on the right! Woohoo!), a bit of a demotion but still far better than 3 of the 4 TV stations. 13's post-MNF cast included security camera footage from Thursday, which shows me standing right behind Pete as he was about to get bounced, and their footage from Monday included a close-up of yours truly, so they must have recognized me from the security cam footage.

And something tells me they weren't the only ones. Today I got a letter from the IRS about my unpaid taxes, which of course, as a war resister, I refused to pay. (I included a note with my return stating as much, can't they read?) Tell me Big Bro ain't watching. Hi mom!

So if and when I'm in that lobby again, I'm going to seek out the security cam and, just like the guy in "Surveillance Report" (one of the films we showed Saturday), I'll make sure they can read my lips as I mouth a silent "Fuck you!"