DUCK POND VARIETY PACK

Got three items to post, let's start with...

Best Band Names Playing The Toledo Area This Week

Atomic Bitchwax--Monday at Underground
Becoming The Archetype--tonight at Howards Club H
Canada's Electric Tiger Machine--Friday at Howards Club H
Dragon Spit--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
Funeral Black Condor--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
Gravel Salad--Friday at Longhorn Saloon
Intentions Of Nothing--Saturday at Headliners
None So Vile--Friday at Longhorn Saloon
The Nuclear Holy Warriors--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Scotty Karate--Friday at Underground
Sideways Smile--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Taking On Explosives--Monday at Underground
Twistin' Tarantulas--Friday at Underground

Next up...

Man pleads insanity in professor's death

A University of Texas student who claimed he stabbed and slashed his piano professor more than 200 times because he thought she was a robot intent on killing him pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. Jackson Ngai, 24, went on trial for attacking Danielle Martin with a meat cleaver, scissors and other items in her kitchen in 2004. On her body was a note that read, "Computer chip in brain."

I, for one, will buy the insanity defense on this one, because when a sane person is stabbing someone they think is a robot trying to kill them, my guess is that after a couple dozen stabs, all the blood and guts and screaming in pain and terror would likely be sufficient to convince them that they're probably mistaken. "I'm sorry, I seem to have terribly misjudged you. I am sooo embarrassed. Shall I dial 911 for you?" Whereas an insane person at that point would think "Well, I'd better stab you a couple hundred more times, just to be on the safe side."

And last but not least...

Actually...

From USA Today, today:

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, who is afraid of heights, parachuted from a plane for a TV commercial to illustrate the state's plunging finances.



My problem with this, "actually," is that he "actually" made the jump "actually" strapped to an "actual" skydiving instructor, whose image was "actually" removed from the ad, "actually" making it appear as if Hickenlooper was "actually" diving alone.

In other words, this image is "actually" BULLSHIT!

And that "actually" pisses me off.

MONARCH DREAM: PART DEUX

Whoa.

I just now woke from another doozy of a dream. Most of it had a plot entirely unrelated to giant Monarchs, and I plum forgot all of those details, but right at the end I caught a TV news segment featuring giant Monarchs wintering in southern Florida. (I thought, wow, just like in my dream! Little did I know.)

Seems they were hanging out on the beaches down there, people were sunning on the beach with them, swimming with them, and some people were even water-skiing around on the Monarchs' backs! Cowa-fuckin'-bunga dude!

(Noel, I challenge you to find a picture to go along with THAT mental image!)

Too bad these damn things aren't real...think of the Monarch show the Orlando Sea World could put together!

One thing's for sure, I gotta fix some more bacon fish (what a band name) and see if I can induce a Part 3!

***

In an unrelated story...speaking of band names, I came upon 2 of the best ever the other day: the paper listed The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, which was playing Thursday at Mickey Finn's. I wasn't sure if this was a band or some sort of tap dancing act endorsed by Mr. Danza. So I actually called MF's to find out. The guy I talked to confirmed that it was just a really silly band name, but not as silly as his personal favorite, John Cougar Concentration Camp.