ELITE...SEVEN?

Well actually it's the Elite Eight, but Song Of The Year will take some time to decide. The other 7 have all been awarded. So without further a-doo-doo...

WEBSITE OF THE YEAR
Two-time defending champ dahl.com lost a shot at a 3-peat when the podcasts were shot down in May. Modesty forbids me from picking the Pond again. Rookie sensation Noelomite is off to a good start with Platypus Nerd/Nerdy Platypus, and FGMMA is an absolute treasure chest. But based on its sheer addictiveness and user-friendly interface, this year's champ has to be:
WINNER: Websudoku

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Since TISM's "Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me" was named the 2004 winner, we go with those good ol' Ukrainian gypsy punks:
WINNER: "Start Wearing Purple"--Gogol Bordello

THE TRIO AWARD (COMMERCIAL OF THE YEAR)
The competition was kind of light. Only one ad really stood out, one that could easily be shown as a PSA in every junior high, high school, college, etc.:
WINNER: Zazoo Condoms--"I Want Those Sweeties!"

THE CARL SAGAN AWARD (MOVIE OF THE YEAR)
Star Wars Ep 3 almost achieved the impossible: making the first two eps worth suffering through. Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy deserved a bigger budget. Napoleon Dynamite (new to me) was, if nothing else, highly quotable. And the joyously offensive The Aristocrats had a lock on this award until the last week of the year. The movie that stole it away made me do something I never do: as soon as it was over I bought another ticket and saw it again immediately. Fuck the elitist critics who knock it for being a filmed version of the Broadway version. Many of us out here in the 'flyover states' don't have the time or the means to go see it on Broadway. Thank you, Mel Brooks, for allowing me to see it for $6.50 a pop plus bus fare:
WINNER: The Producers
(PS: My only minor quibble is that the L.S.D. character, originally played by Dick Shawn, was omitted. But then, Dick Shawn was inimitable, so that's understandable.)

CATCH PHRASE OF THE YEAR
The aforementioned Napoleon Dynamite had several worthy candidates, the Noelomite gave us "Rock out with your cock out!", and Mythbusters made me realize that, when you think about it, the seemingly benign phrase "ping-pong balls" is inherently funny. In any language. Case in point: "Las bolas del ping-pong!" But for all-out catchiness, it's hard to deny a 2nd win for the gypsy punks:
WINNER: "Start Wearing Purple"--Gogol Bordello

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Plenty of honorable mentions: "American Idiot"--Green Day, "The Complete Conception"--The Conception Corporation, "Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony"--Gogol Bordello, "Voila Intruder"--Gogol Bordello, "Want Two"--Rufus Wainwright, "X&Y"--Coldplay. But one look up top and this one's a dead giveaway. Taking the place of "Complete Madness", which stood as my all-time favorite album for over two decades:
WINNER: "Gypsy Punks"--Gogol Bordello

GEAK ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
Ah, the ever-prestigious GROTY award. Mythbusters leads the TV rookies, Websudoku will not release me from its vise-like grip, TISM has some of the best song titles since Pop Will Eat Itself (i.e. "I Might Be A Cunt But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt", "If You're Ugly, Forget It", "I'm On The Drug That Killed River Phoenix", and of course "Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me"), and as fabulous babes go, Mo'Nique's curves make the inane "The Parkers" watchable. But down the stretch, this was clearly a two-horse race right down to the wire. And in the end, I had no choice but to declare that the first-ever deadlock in Elite 8 history...would go into OT and ultimately be broken in early April of 2006, when one team was set to rock Detroit, while the other team reacted to a harmless joke with a lot of bad 'tude:
WINNER: Gogol Bordello

The SOTY will take a while. Of the 128 SOTY entries, an unbelievable 37 are by Gogol Bordello, giving them a real shot at taking home 5 of the Elite 8, breaking the record of 4 by Taco The Wonder Dog in 2001.