LETTERS FROM HENRY
(from The Henry Rollins Show, IFC, May 6, 2006)

Dear Pat Robertson,

I would like to compliment you on having the psycho vision to stand up and say the things that some people--a lot of people, people who read, travel, and think for themselves--would find repellant, illogical, and just plain wrong. You don't let overwhelming amounts of facts get in the way of your conclusions, and that is refreshingly psychotic!

Like that time you said the September 11th attacks were carried out by pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU, and the People for the American Way. And here I was, all this time thinking it was Al-Qaeda operatives from the Middle East. Boy was I taken for a ride! And to think Dick Cheney's daughter and Ellen Degeneres may have been in on this has really made me have to stop and re-think the whole thing! And I've come to the conclusion that you are a gold medalist psycho!

George W. Bush said we were fighting a global war on terror and sent thousands of soldiers into Iraq to take care of business. But if I'm understanding you correctly, we should re-direct the troops to invade America, or at least stop those damn queer liberal bastards from taking flying lessons or getting married. I hear ya, I think.

Oh yeah, that time when you said feminism was a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians? Now, Pat, you know you're starting to sound a little like...or a lot like...the Taliban. Are you trying to enact some kind of blue-collar comedy tour Sharia for idiots?

Remember a few months ago when you said someone should put a hit on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez? Your psychotic bullshit is only outweighed by your naivete. You sure put the "mental" into fundamentalism that day!

Pat, you're part koala bear, part Koresh, and every bit the psychotic con man for the new American century. And make no mistake: a long time ago, your God looked at you, said, "What a fuckin' psycho!!" and abandoned you. But don't despair. You still have me.

--Henry