TOP TEN HEADLINES IN THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION-APPROVED NEW NEW YORK TIMES

10. IRAQ MISSION DEEMED "COOL" BY JOINT CHIEFS: PENTAGON OFFICIAL

9. CHENEY SMILES BRIEFLY AT NEWS CONFERENCE; SHOWS WARM HUMAN QUALITIES MISSED BY MEDIA

8. RUMSFELD SPORTS NEW TIE AT BRIEFING; FIELDS COMPLIMENTS FROM REPORTERS AND TV CREWS

7. FIRST AMENDMENT ROLLBACK FINE WITH MOST VOTERS NOT DECLARED AS "ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE"

6. PRESIDENT BUSH MAKES FUNNY REMARK IN OVAL OFFICE; DRAWS GENUINE LAUGHTER FROM STAFF

5. BUSH CLEARS LARGE AMOUNTS OF BRUSH FROM RANCH; OPERATION DEEMED "COMPLETE SUCCESS"

4. PRESIDENT'S SOCK DRAWER "NEAT AND ORGANIZED" SAYS TONY SNOW

3. SECRETARY OF STATE RICE WILL TRAVEL TO CALIFORNIA TO ASSIST MILITARY TAKEOVER OF SACRAMENTO

2. CIVIL LIBERTIES REPEAL DRAWS WIDE SUPPORT AMONGST REMAINING MEMBERS OF CONGRESS

And the number one headline in the Bush administration-approved New New York Times...

1. PRESIDENTIAL DOGS HAVE GOOD DAY IN ROMP ON SOUTH LAWN