KARAOKE RECAP--1/2/2008

It's been quite a while since I did one of these, but tonight was a strange and fun night, so here we go!

I decided to go straight from work to karaoke, but I didn't have my man-purse full of song slips with me. So I decided en route to do karaoke roulette, in which you let others pick your songs for you, and you don't know what you're singing until the intro starts.

Doug and Micki started me off easy with a few songs I'd done before, then Doug hits me with "Still Of The Night" by Whitesnake, which Vivian occasionally does at my regular show, if for no other reason than to have me do this schtick we came up with in the middle of the song where, at one point, I attempt to sing "rubber baby buggy bumpers" 18 times in a row in one breath, which we determined is the karaoke equivalent of Tony Hawk's 900. I have succeeded at it only twice so far. But this time I had to do the whole song myself, including the schtick. I had to low-ball the vocals, and sadly I didn't complete the "900".

Now before I cover the next song, I must tell you all about a few weeks ago when some people wanted Doug and me to do "Paradise By The Dashboard Light". Since I can't hit Meat Loaf's range, I volunteer to do the female part. Not long after I started in on it, I realize I'm sounding like Flip Wilson's character, Geraldine, a voice I've been able to do since I was 5. It got laughs from the mostly older crowd, so I went all out with it.

Okay, back to tonight...karaoke komrade Nic puts a song in for me. The intro starts..."I Touch Myself". Oy. This is gonna suck balls. But at the very last second before I start, I decide to do it as Geraldine. "I don't want anybody else, Killer! WOOOOO!" etc. Again, this goes over well, but at certain points it occurs to me that I'm not far off from sounding like Axl Rose. I point this out, and work in a line or two of "Sweet Child O' Mine". Toward the end I go over and give Nic a bit of a lap dance as revenge. NEVER fuck with the master, bitch!

My next turn, Doug picks one out. You guessed it..."Sweet Child O' Mine". Natch, I start doing it as Geraldine. About a verse in, I am switching between Geraldine and an attempt at an actual Axl voice. "Okay, folks, now I'm doing Geraldine doing Axl," I point out. "This is some high-concept shit!"

Later Nic picked out "Margaritaville" and "American Pie", but I ended up doing "Marijuanaville" and "The Saga Begins" instead.

One he picked that ended up working quite well was "Rocket Man". Of course I started out doing it as Shatner ("I'm a rock-IT man!"), but then I decided to do it straight. (Well, as straight as one can do an Elton John song. *rim shot*) I'll have to do that one more often.

PS: After I got home I realized that I wasn't really doing Axl so much as I was doing Adam Sandler doing Axl. But I was doing it as Geraldine. So it was even more high-concept than I thought: Me doing Flip Wilson doing Geraldine doing Adam Sandler doing Axl Rose! It's imitation-on-imitation crime!

What can I say? "The devil made me do it! WOOOOOOOO!!!"