I'LL SUE YA! (NOT!)

I emailed the folks at Smirnoff last week to suggest a new flavor, ruby red/sweet grapefruit. I'm sure they could put out something really good along those lines. Today I checked my inbox and found a long reply from someone named Richard that had the stink of the Smirnoff legal department all over it, explaining exhaustively how they don't take ideas or suggestions from outside the company. I was rather offended. Here's the gist of my reply:

"Spare me the legalese, Dick. I'm not looking to sue you guys for some cockamamie reason. My mother didn't raise me like that. All I'm saying is, hey, if you guys put out a grapefruit flavor I'll buy it. But thanks for assuming the worst. Sheesh. Maybe I should just stick to Diet Coke when I'm out at karaoke. --DJP"