COMING SOON TO THE DUCKPOND: ALBUM REVIEWS!
With Arthur Kill's "Addiction" album being officially released August 1st (I've had it since March, because I'm cool), and with Pansy Division's "Total Entertainment" album being released August 12th (I've already ordered it), I'll be rolling out my new Pond side feature, Duck Pond Album Reviews.
Way cool. The new PD album comes out (pun intended) on the 12th. As if the day wasn't special enough. ALF's b-day, the Perseids, the 1-year anniversary of the infamous "Paula" pic, and now the brand thpanking new PD CD. Can 8/12 get any cooler?
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Thursday, July 03, 2003
RANDOM ACTS OF GEAKISHNESS
R.A.O.G. was a regular (or should I say irregular?) feature in AG! The Geak Newsletter (of which the Duck Pond is obviously the reincarnation...of sorts...of) and since I'm still trying to cover up for a severe case of writer's block, what say we dust it off and give it a new life here on this newfangled internet thingy?
***
AWARD FOLLOW-UP
Um, you folks never did weigh in with your votes on the two undecided awards from 2002. So as usual I took matters into my own hands. Here's the winners. Don't like 'em? Tough. Next time, speak up.
Album Of The Year: "Absurd Pop Song Romance", Pansy Division
Music Video Of The Year: "Trouble", Coldplay
***
(The following item was emailed to me by my sis.)
MOUSE BALLS
***
HAVE YOU CLICKED THE PICK TO CLICK?
Because if you haven't, you really should. This Mark Morford dude writes some damn good stuff. Go. Click. Now. Read. Enjoy. Up and to the right. There ya go.
***
THWAP!
It fascinates me no end, it boggles my mind, it keeps me up days, the fact that no matter how many sprays and bug bombs and laser-guided insecticides the good people at Johnson Wax put on the market, the best way for me to kill off all these damn flies that, thanks to my bro opening a basement window he really shouldn't have opened, are now constantly invading my personal space, is with a cheap plastic flyswatter. Maybe the same technology would help solve our current George W. Bush infestation. "Hey Dubya!" "What?" *THWAP!* "Stop it."
R.A.O.G. was a regular (or should I say irregular?) feature in AG! The Geak Newsletter (of which the Duck Pond is obviously the reincarnation...of sorts...of) and since I'm still trying to cover up for a severe case of writer's block, what say we dust it off and give it a new life here on this newfangled internet thingy?
***
AWARD FOLLOW-UP
Um, you folks never did weigh in with your votes on the two undecided awards from 2002. So as usual I took matters into my own hands. Here's the winners. Don't like 'em? Tough. Next time, speak up.
Album Of The Year: "Absurd Pop Song Romance", Pansy Division
Music Video Of The Year: "Trouble", Coldplay
***
(The following item was emailed to me by my sis.)
MOUSE BALLS
***
HAVE YOU CLICKED THE PICK TO CLICK?
Because if you haven't, you really should. This Mark Morford dude writes some damn good stuff. Go. Click. Now. Read. Enjoy. Up and to the right. There ya go.
***
THWAP!
It fascinates me no end, it boggles my mind, it keeps me up days, the fact that no matter how many sprays and bug bombs and laser-guided insecticides the good people at Johnson Wax put on the market, the best way for me to kill off all these damn flies that, thanks to my bro opening a basement window he really shouldn't have opened, are now constantly invading my personal space, is with a cheap plastic flyswatter. Maybe the same technology would help solve our current George W. Bush infestation. "Hey Dubya!" "What?" *THWAP!* "Stop it."
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
SODA WARS 2003
Um, yeah. Yawn. Let's get ready to rumble. Ho hum.
MOUNTAIN DEW LIVEWIRE VS. TROPICAL SPRITE REMIX
Well, in the color department, it's no contest. TSR is clear and therefore no match for the overwhelming orangeness of MDL. In the flavor department, a similar result. TSR's light fruity bouquet gets completely bitch-slapped by ORANGE! ORANGE! ORANGE! Did I mention MDL is ORANGE?
Mind you, I love orange, the flavor as well as the color. It's the color of ALF, after all. But the problem is, MDL is so orange that there remains little if any detectable Mountain Dew flavor in it. It might just as well be plain and simple orange soda. And TSR is something completely, or at least distinctively, different from regular Sprite.
And it is on these grounds that, despite the fact that MDL made TSR its thoroughly submissive bitch in this contest, I must, in good conscience, disqualify MDL and declare TSR the winner, in much the same way that Andy Kaufman won his infamous wrestling match despite being mercilessly piledriven by Jerry Lawler.
THE WINNER AND 2003 SODA WARS CHAMPION, CURRENTLY BEING TRANSPORTED BY AMBULANCE TO FAYGO GENERAL HOSPITAL COMPLETE WITH A BIG NECK BRACE AROUND THE BOTTLE: TROPICAL SPRITE RRRRRRRRRREMIX!!!!!
Um, yeah. Yawn. Let's get ready to rumble. Ho hum.
MOUNTAIN DEW LIVEWIRE VS. TROPICAL SPRITE REMIX
Well, in the color department, it's no contest. TSR is clear and therefore no match for the overwhelming orangeness of MDL. In the flavor department, a similar result. TSR's light fruity bouquet gets completely bitch-slapped by ORANGE! ORANGE! ORANGE! Did I mention MDL is ORANGE?
Mind you, I love orange, the flavor as well as the color. It's the color of ALF, after all. But the problem is, MDL is so orange that there remains little if any detectable Mountain Dew flavor in it. It might just as well be plain and simple orange soda. And TSR is something completely, or at least distinctively, different from regular Sprite.
And it is on these grounds that, despite the fact that MDL made TSR its thoroughly submissive bitch in this contest, I must, in good conscience, disqualify MDL and declare TSR the winner, in much the same way that Andy Kaufman won his infamous wrestling match despite being mercilessly piledriven by Jerry Lawler.
THE WINNER AND 2003 SODA WARS CHAMPION, CURRENTLY BEING TRANSPORTED BY AMBULANCE TO FAYGO GENERAL HOSPITAL COMPLETE WITH A BIG NECK BRACE AROUND THE BOTTLE: TROPICAL SPRITE RRRRRRRRRREMIX!!!!!
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