'APPY BASTILLE DAY!

Today for breakfast I made French roast coffee with a French press and French toast using French bread, for lunch I had French fries and French onion soup, for dinner I had a French dip with French dressing, and for dessert I had French vanilla ice cream with French's mustard.

Then I played the French horn, watched "The French Connection", visited French Lick and the French Quarter, got a French kiss from a French maid, put on a French tickler and did the French Mistake.

NOT THAT I REALLY GIVE 23 SHITS, BUT...

As a Buckeye and Buckeye fan, I would have liked to see Lebron James go to Ohio State. Wouldn't that have thrown everyone for a loop?

But again, I couldn't care less. I more or less gave up on the NBA after Detroit's "Bad Boys" era ended.

I did, however, sing "The Heat Is On" at karaoke right after the announcement was made. Never let it be said I'm not topical.

Now to sit back and watch the rioting begin in Cleveland. They'll probably set that river on fire again!

ANAGRAM OF THE MONTH: MAHUT-ISNER = HUMANS TIRE

But when it comes to long sporting contests, Mahut vs. Isner was nothing compared to Roberts vs. Huron:

BREAKING NEWS!

MR. COLOREDWELL: "I'M OUT!"

Well, okay, that's not exactly breaking news, but...

Duxoop here, with an important message for all my loyal, regular readers (yeah right, excuse me for a moment while I laugh at my own delusion).

So, yeah, just in case there's anyone out there who's actually been reading this blog on a regular basis, you'll notice that all of Mr. Coloredwell's posts about the World Cup have been deleted, upon his request.

Frankly, we shouldn't have started in the first place. We almost cancelled the whole thing during the first weekend due to all those retarded vuvuzela-blowing douchebags.

The deal should have been, either the vuvuzelas go, or we go. The deal ended up being, if Argentina goes, we go. The Argentinians (and their beautiful uniforms) were eliminated today, thus Mr. C, in tears, asked me to pull the plug, and I obliged.

Shame on FIFA for not banning vuvuzelas. They have completely ruined the entire tournament. I am not watching another second, and neither is Mr. C. We must take a stand. And shame on South Africa and their soccer fans, for the worst sound created by humans since disco!

Hopefully come 2014 in Brazil, intelligence will somehow prevail and vuvuzelas will be banned. Then we'll try all of this again.

Also it is my sincere hope that Mr. Coloredwell will gracious agree to do a weekly feature here on the Pond when football season starts. If so, he will be covering college football froom the get-go, but he would of course join me in boycotting the NFL season for the duration of Ben Roethlisberger's undeserved suspension.

One last message from Mr. C.: "See you in September!"