THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN!

We are 14 days away from the premiere of ALF's Hit Talk Show!

July 7, 10pm, TV Land

Two items today for your dancing, dining, and dementing pleasure...

1. BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (JUN 18-24)

Coil Burner--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
Goiter Jelly--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
Hacky Sack Circle--Saturday at Happy Badger
The Killer Flamingos--Saturday at Nick and Jimmy's
Lame-O--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
M.C. Habitat vs. the Wax Odyssey--Saturday at Happy Badger
Your Black Star--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Dr. Sauce--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub

2. MY SHORTEST PARODY SONG TO DATE

Yes, even shorter than the ill-fated "Black Magic Marker"!

To the tune of "Que Sera Sera":

"When I was just a little girl
I had a sex change"

THE END

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (JUN 11-17)

Fetish Doll--tonight at Back Porch
Psychosomatic Orchestra--tonight at Happy Badger
The Stain--tonight at Headliners
Almost Anonymous--tonight & Saturday at J. Patrick's Pub
Froghead--tonight & Saturday at M.T. Loonies
Stacked Ham--tonight & Saturday at Break Room Lounge
Money Shot--Saturday at Baja Boogie Cafe
Uba Tuba--Sunday at Bronze Boar

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (JUN 4-10)

The Knobs--tonight & Saturday at Break Room Lounge
American Werewolves--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Four on the Floor--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Geronimo's Cadillac--Saturday at Village Idiot
The Money Shot--Wednesday at Brewed Awakenings
The Beatalls--Thursday at Carmel's
Goin' to Gramma's--Thursday at Manhattan's
Static Rituals--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAY 28-JUN 3)

(This should more than make up for last week's drought. BTW I'm posting this Saturday morning, so if you want to catch any of the Friday shows, you'll need to employ some form of time travel.)

Atomic Nite Life--last night at Longhorn Saloon
Bleed for Me--last night at Longhorn Saloon
Dead Heroes--last night at Longhorn Saloon
Delicious--last night at Mickey Finn's Pub
Life Set Struggle--last night at Longhorn Saloon
Midwest Up In Arms--last night at Longhorn Saloon
MonkeyNut--last night at Headliners
The Science of Big Machines--last night at Mickey Finn's Pub
Snow Forest Stars--last night at Mickey Finn's Pub
Urban Transport--last night at Firefly Club
Voodoo Libido--last night at Manhattan's
Yeti Machete--last night at Longhorn Saloon
Based On Dreams--Saturday at Back Porch
Fetish Doll--Saturday at Headliners
Mindless Mischief--Saturday at Headliners
Silver Spine--Saturday at Longhorn Saloon
3-Headed Monster--Saturday at Back Porch
The Waybacks--Sunday at Mickey Finn's Pub
The Beatalls--Wednesday at Carmel's
Spit for Athena--Wednesday at Happy Badger
New Planet Trampoline--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub

DAVE DELLINGER -- NONVIOLENT HERO: REST IN PEACE

On Tuesday, May 25, 2004, at approximately 1:30 p.m., nonviolent hero Dave Dellinger passed from this world in Montpelier, Vermont. Although suffering from Alzheimer's for several years, Dave recognized his wife, Elizabeth, and other family members right until
the end.

For more than sixty years, Dave Dellinger was at the forefront of movements for peace and social justice. From his refusal to serve in World War II (which resulted in imprisonment) and early opposition to the nuclear arms race to leading anti-war protests at the 1968 Democratic convention, the famous Chicago "conspiracy" trial, and beyond, Dave led the way by powerful personal example and inspired teaching for generations of activists.

A truly remarkable human being -- one of the true progressive heroes of the 20th Century -- he will be deeply missed.

To offer condolences, write to Elizabeth c/o Toward Freedom, PO Box 468, Burlington, VT 05402. Once family and friends have time to process this loss, memorial and other events will be planned and announced.

Inquiries can be sent to Office@TowardFreedom.com

QUOTE DU JOUR

"If you're religious, and you believe the Bible is real because of faith, we can't touch you. It's an automatic tie. No one can bust you. Bible nuts pride themselves in believing in things that are hard to believe in. They think God will bless them for that. But if faith isn't enough, if you want history or fact in your Bible, you are so screwed. It's fair to say the Bible contains equal amounts of fact, history...and pizza."

--Penn Jillette, from Penn & Teller's "Bullshit!"

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAY 21-27)

(Quality over quantity this week. Only two entries, but they're good.)

Fatmouth Charlie and the Biscuit Rollers--tonight & Saturday at Rusty's Jazz Cafe
3lb. Universe--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAY 14-20)

Awaken the Form--tonight at Headliners
Buck 69--tonight at shorty's bar-b-que, Saturday at Back Porch (with Acoustic-X)
Herkimer Shagnasty--tonight & Saturday at Prime Time South
Moosh--tonight at Mickey Finn's Pub
Serious Johnson--tonight at Village Idiot
Kids From Krypton--Saturday at Headliners
CatchPhrase--Sunday at Headliners

BEST BAND NAMES THAT HAVE PLAYED OR ARE PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (MAY 7-13)

Again, my apologies for the delay. (As if anyone goes to see them based on this list. Or do you? And if so, what's wrong with you?)

Already played:
Animal Animal
D.A. and the Prosecutors
Glass Bead Game
Harmony Hogs
Hot Karl
RiverRaisinMassicure
The Unreal Scarlet's Well
Yet to play:
Box Of Cats--Thursday at Bronze Boar
Child Proof Toys--Thursday at the Barn

***

ACTUALLY, IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE LUCKY

Excerpt from a recent Mark Morford column:

"Perhaps you've already seen it? Perhaps you've been alerted? If not, you can see the video here, here, or here. Warning: It is not for the squeamish or the humor impaired. It is not for the easily offended or the desperately sensitive. It is especially not for those who can't look at a Hallmark card without weeping and who own more than nine cats and never go outside. This is the point."

BEST BAND NAMES THAT EITHER ALREADY PLAYED OR ARE GOING TO PLAY THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 30-MAY 6):

I know this is late. Sorry.

Already played:
Frayed Knot--Friday and Saturday at Firehouse 47 Bar and Grill
All Time Low--Saturday at Headliners
Farewell to Flesh--Saturday at Headliners
Fat Dog--Saturday at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Roadside Zoo--Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Going to play:
Whiskey Tenor--Tuesday at Magic Bag
Drums and Tuba--Wednesday at Headliners
Seven Million Jigawatts--Thursday at Prime Time North

COOL NEW LINK

Am I Right

Tons of parody songs, some are even halfway decent!

I just submitted my karaoke song...we'll see how it rates.

Thanks to my comrade Terry for the tip!

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 23-29)

Atomic Nightlife--Monday at Headliners
Every Time I Die--Tuesday at Headliners
The I Don't Know Band--tonight at Bunkers Place
Shucking Bubba--Saturday at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Slightly Stoopid--Tuesday at Magic Bag
36crazyfists--Tuesday at Headliners

MARK MORFORD IS BACK, AND IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!

Morfy took several weeks off, but his triumphant return to the dubba-dub-dub is one of his finest works yet. Check it out, especially those of you who got suckered into wasting 9 bucks on "The Passion Of The Sado-Masochist".

How To Gag On 'The Passion'
Nine fun-filled ways Mel Gibson's brutal snuff film makes a mockery of true belief. Clip n' save!

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 16-22)

Blind Circus--tonight & Saturday at Anchor Inn
Box of Cats--Thursday at Bronze Boar
Buck 69--Wednesday at Bronze Boar
Ducksoup (that's me)--tonight at Diane's Roadhouse (and possibly Delaney's later on), Saturday at Mutz
The Good, the Bad, the Blues Band--tonight at Pitchers, Saturday at the Grill
Half Willy (Any relation to Ten Inch Willy?)--tonight & Saturday at L.A. Pit Stop
The Menus--tonight at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Ninja and the Secret Rage--Sunday at Music Suite
Old Blind Dogs--Wednesday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Paint Black Walrus--tonight at Moe's Chargrill, Saturday at Bronze Boar, Tuesday at Baja Boogie Cafe, Wednesday at Good Times Sports Bar and Grill

IN MEMORY OF NICK AND MARY YANKOVIC

Just saw this sad news in yesterday's paper. My deepest condolences to the Weird one...my thoughts are with you and yours, Al ol' pal.

Initially I posted the AP story, but instead here's the message Al posted on his official site:

***

A MESSAGE FROM AL

On April 9, my mom and dad, Nick and Mary Yankovic, passed away in their home in Fallbrook, California. It was the result of a terrible accident – that morning they had started a fire in the fireplace with the flue closed, and were asphyxiated by carbon monoxide poisoning.

Suzanne called me that afternoon on the bus to give me the news, so that I would hear about it before the wire services picked it up.

Needless to say, I feel pretty much the way you would expect me to feel – shocked and devastated beyond words. I loved my parents so much, and this all still seems like a horrible nightmare that I can’t wake up from.

I want to thank my family, friends and fans for the incredible outpouring of love and support that they’ve shown me. It’s wonderful to know that there are so many people around the world who truly loved my parents, and also nice to know that I am not alone in my grief.

I take some small measure of comfort in knowing that they died peacefully, and that they never had to suffer through the pain and loneliness of living without each other. I'm also grateful that they both lived long enough to see me happily married to Suzanne, and particularly happy that they got to meet our beautiful baby daughter Nina. She filled their lives with so much joy this last year. Nina may be too young to remember playing with her grandparents when she gets older, but don’t worry, we’ll have some great videotape to show her.

Many people have wondered what’s going to happen with the tour. I briefly considered canceling some shows, but I ultimately decided that it would be better for me personally to continue working. Plus, I’ve heard from so many people over the years that my music has cheered them up in times of tragedy… well, I thought maybe my music would help me too.

So far, it has. Going up on stage in front of thousands of supportive fans is a cathartic and somewhat therapeutic experience for me right now. I don’t know if I can say that the concerts really take my mind off of the tragedy, but at least they give me a break from sobbing all the time.

Anyway, I have decided not to cancel any shows – the tour will continue as planned. However, I have decided to put a moratorium on all interviews and meet-and-greets for the time being – I just feel like I need some time alone right now.

The funeral will be a very small, intimate service with only the immediate family attending, so please, I ask that you respect our privacy. Just knowing that your thoughts are with us at this time is more than enough, but if you care to contribute anything, in lieu of flowers, Suzanne and I suggest a donation to the Natural Resources Defense Council in my parents’ name.

One thing I would like to ask everybody to do, though… please, go out and get carbon monoxide detectors for yourself and your loved ones. If my parents had had one in their home, there’s a very good chance that they would still be with us today.

In fairness to the memory of my mother, I should point out some errors that appeared in the press. Although she was starting to have a problem with short-term memory loss (she was taking medication for it), my mother was never diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

As long as I’m pointing out errors that the press has made, it was my Aunt Dot who found my parents when she was bringing them lunch that day, as she routinely did (and not a group of relatives concerned that they “hadn’t heard from them in a while” – the family was close and caring and saw each other several times a day). Also, my aunts and uncles all live in separate houses (not together, as some articles implied), and for what it’s worth, I am not represented by the William Morris Agency either.

I don’t know how much else I can say about my parents that I haven’t already said in interviews over the years. Although I always found it a little uncomfortable, my dad talked a lot about death. He mentioned a few times that he was planning to go on a diet so that his “casket would be easier to carry.” I guess that’s where I got my sick sense of humor from. And he was always talking about how much he was looking forward to seeing his old army buddies again (in the next life). I sure hope they’re having a great reunion right now.

As unthinkable as this tragedy is to me, I just know that my mom and dad were very much at peace with the world and with their lives. And I guess I can take a small amount of comfort in that too.

Thank you all again for your overwhelming kindness and support. It means more to me than you can ever know.

Love,
Al

"Revolution is not something fixed in ideology, nor is it something fashioned to a particular decade. It is a perpetual process embedded in the human spirit."
--Abbie Hoffman
November 30, 1936-April 12, 1989

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 9-15)

Box of Cats--Saturday at 60/70 Grill and Bar, Thursday at Bronze Boar
D.A. and the Prosecutors--Saturday at Fitzpatrick's Tavern
Dead Heroes--Saturday at Black Stone
Ducksoup--Saturday at Mutz
Gopher Broke--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
Lame-O--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
LegBone--tonight at Longhorn Saloon
Nothing Special--Saturday at Black Stone
One Minute Mike--tonight at Longhorn Saloon

JUST A QUICK THOUGHT...

I notice different cities have different Gay Pride Days. Shouldn't it be the same everywhere, June 9th? (As in, 6-9? Except of course in Europe where it would be September 6th.)

BEST BAND NAMES PLAYING THE TOLEDO AREA THIS WEEK (APR 2-8)

Box of Cats--Thursday at Bronze Boar
Fat Dog--Saturday at Bait Shop Bar and Grill
Flesh Gallery--Saturday at West Toledo Masonic
Hot Karl (a recent #1 on Buzz Kilman's list)--tonight & Saturday at Baja Boogie Cafe
The Legendary Shack Shakers--Tuesday at Headliners
Rome for a Day--Saturday at West Toledo Masonic
The Science of Big Machines--Thursday at Mickey Finn's Pub
Laurie Swyers and Blue Sun--Saturday at Manhattan's
Tastes Like Chicken--tonight at Longhorn Saloon, Saturday at Mickey Finn's Pub