FLAMES ON AN AEROSTAR, PART 2

All that needless fuss over the 'lipstick on a pig' thing...now that I think about it, perhaps if he had said 'flames on an Aerostar' people wouldn't have gotten their panties in a bunch. Well, except perhaps Ford or the UAW. Perhaps a slight variation...how about 'racing stripes on a Yugo'?

Okay, what else? I already used 'whipped cream on dog shit', I'm sure I can think of some others. Maybe I'll send these to Barack, he might find one of them suitable. Or not.

You can put velvet drapes on an outhouse...
You can plant flowers in front of a garbage dump...
You can put gravy on headcheese...
You can put cheese sauce on broccoli... (nah, too much like Bush Sr.)
You can air the Olympics and the Super Bowl on NBC24...
You can have Sir Lawrence Olivier guest star on Gilligan's Island...
You can put a Tuxedo on the Elephant Man... (Variation: You can put an Armani suit on Kid Rock...)
You can build a ballpark and a hockey arena in downtown Toledo... (Variation: You can fix the streets in Tulsa...)
You can have Billie Holliday sing "Before He Cheats"... (Variation: You can have Pavarotti sing "Achy Breaky Heart"...)
You can have Fred Astaire do the Chicken Dance...
You can have Martin Scorcese direct "Joe Dirt"...

That's all I can come up with at the moment. If you can think of any, email them to askduckpond2008@sacbeemail.com

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