COLLEGE FOOTBALL FASHION REVIEW 2010 WEEK 2
by Mr. Coloredwell, sports fashion critic and Duck Pond guest columnist

CENTRAL MICHIGAN (Adidas) AT TEMPLE (Under Armour)
CMU in white jerseys and maroon pants with yellow conehead-shaped spooge. Owls in red jerseys and white pants with their stupid dashed line down the side. Both teams should just go pantless! CMU has better colors, but Owls have regular block numbers, and I have to pick one or the other.
WINNER: TEMPLE

AUBURN (Under Armour) AT MISSISSIPPI STATE (Adidas)
Auburn in all white with blue and orange trim. What's this? An Under Armour uni with no mistakes on it? Will wonders never cease! MSU in maroon jerseys and white pants, again with the pant spooge shaped like an irregular necktie.
WINNER: AUBURN

WEST VIRGINIA (Nike) AT MARSHALL (Nike)
WVU in white jerseys and dark blue pants with yellow Nike-spooge and ugly numbers. Marshall in pretty green jerseys and white pants, block numbers and no spooge. Only problem is sweat shows very prominently in the green.
WINNER: MARSHALL

UTEP (Nike) AT HOUSTON (Nike)
UTEP in white jerseys and orange pants, but with disgusting dark blue Denver Bronco-style Nike-spooge from armpit to knee. Houston in red jerseys and white pants with red Nike-spooge. Lovely shades of orange and red, sadly polluted by all that spooge. Of which, Houston has much less. Of.
WINNER: HOUSTON

SAN JOSE STATE (Nike) AT WISCONSIN (Adidas)
SJSU in all white with a lot of blue and yellow Nike spooge. Badgers in ravishing red jerseys and white pants, now clearly the 3rd best uni in their conference.
WINNER: WISCONSIN

GEORGIA (Nike) AT SOUTH CAROLINA (Under Armour)
'Dawgs in white jerseys and grey pants with red and black trim. 'Cocks in all dark red with white and black Nike-spooge, a disgrace to cocks everywhere.
WINNER: GEORGIA

FLORIDA ATLANTIC (Adidas) VS MICHIGAN STATE (Nike) (at Detroit)
FAU in blue jerseys and white pants with blue, red and white trim. MSU in all white with green shoulders and pant spooge. Those stupid eyelash numbers fit right in at Ford Field, I guess.
WINNER: FLORIDA ATLANTIC

GEORGIA TECH (Russell) AT KANSAS (Adidas)
The Wreck in all white with blue and gold Nike-spooge down the whole side. Kansas in blue jerseys and white pants, and their usual dorky numbers, which I'll have to overlook because I can't bear GT's spooge. Get some block numbers, Toto!
WINNER: KANSAS

ILLINOIS STATE [FCS] (Nike) AT NORTHWESTERN (Adidas)
ISU in white jerseys with red shoulders, and red pants. Tuck in your jerseys! NWU in dark purple jerseys, black pants and white trim. Not the best shade of purple, and I'm not a fan of black pants, but I'll give them credit for ditching last year's spooge.
WINNER: NORTHWESTERN

WESTERN ILLINOIS [FCS] (Adidas) AT PURDUE (Nike)
WIU in white jerseys with purple and gold trim, and purple pants. Purdue in all black (bleah) with gold and white trim. Well, WIU wins on pants, but the lettering on the front of their jerseys looks hokey. Tough call here.
WINNER: PURDUE

FLORIDA STATE (Nike) AT OKLAHOMA (Nike)
FSU in white jerseys with red and gold trim and gold pants. OU in red jerseys and white pants. FSU loses it with the non-block numbers.
WINNER: OKLAHOMA

MICHIGAN (Adidas) AT NOTRE DAME (Adidas)
Michigan in white jerseys with some yellow Nike-spooge on them, and yellow pants. Ugh, the puke-inducing helmets. I'd like to pour paint thinner on them. And set them on fire. And if the whole team burns to death in the process, so be it. ND in blue jerseys and gold pants, unremarkable but no mistakes.
WINNER: NOTRE DAME

MIAMI FL (Nike) AT OHIO STATE (Nike)
'Canes in white jerseys with dark green Nike-spooge and ugly numbers, and dark green pants with orange and white Nike-spooge. Buckeyes in scrumptious scarlet jerseys and grey pants. Miami does everything wrong, OSU does everything right. How much more lopsided can you get?
WINNER: OHIO STATE

KENT STATE (Nike) AT BOSTON COLLEGE (Under Armour)
Kent in white jerseys and shiny yellow pants, BC in red jerseys and gold pants. BC's numbers are irregular, italic idiocy. Kent's pants are, fittingly, fabulously flashy!
WINNER: KENT STATE

COLORADO (Nike) AT CALIFORNIA (Nike)
Col in white jerseys and black pants (ugh), Cal in blue jerseys and yellow pants. A mixed bag here. Col has nice shiny helmets, but they have that same dumb Nevada-shaped thing on their pants as UNC. And they need to tuck their jerseys in. Cal has a very bad case of Nike-spooge on the shoulders and pants. Cal has much better numbers than Col. You're kidding, that's the decider?
WINNER: CALIFORNIA

BYU (Nike) AT AIR FORCE (Nike)
Morons, er, Mormons (same thing) in white jerseys and dark blue pants. Air Farce in medium blue jerseys and white pants. Farce has a nicer blue.
WINNER: AIR FORCE

IOWA STATE (Nike) AT IOWA (Nike)
ISU in white jerseys and red pants with yellow stripes, a nice twist on the USC look. But they seem to have a bit of that MSU eyelash thing. Iowa in black and gold. Steelers lookalikes (actually lookbetters) win again.
WINNER: IOWA

PENN STATE (Nike) AT ALABAMA (Nike)
PSU in all white, 'Bama in red jerseys and white pants. Yawn.
WINNER: ALABAMA

OREGON (Nike) AT TENNESSEE (Adidas)
Ducks in all white with dark green trim, the shittiest numbers in existence, and whatever that crap is on their shoulders. Vols in their gorgeous, juicy orange jerseys with white pants. Even in the rain, the orange still looks delicious. THIS is how much more lopsided you can get!
WINNER: TENNESSEE

LSU (Nike) AT VANDERBILT (Nike)
LSU in white jerseys and yellow pants, Vandy in black jerseys and gold pants. No purple socks yet for the Jello 123 effect, but Tigers still look tasty.
WINNER: LSU

SOUTHERN ILLINOIS [FCS] (Under Armour) AT ILLINOIS (Nike)
SIU in white jerseys and maroon pants, UI in dark blue jerseys and white pants, with orange Nike-spooge down the sides. Well, this is an easy pick, isn't it?
WINNER: SOUTHERN ILLINOIS

MISSISSIPPI (Nike) AT TULANE (Nike)
Ole Miss in white jerseys with red numbers and grey pants, NY Giants lookalikes. Tulane in green jerseys and white pants, with a lovely, mesmerizing shade of light blue trim that glues their whole look together.
WINNER: TULANE

STANFORD (Nike) AT UCLA (Adidas)
Stanford in all white with with Cardinal red trim. Bruins in their stunning (and shiny!) light blue jerseys and shiny gold pants. They make the Chargers throwbacks look like household rags!
WINNER: UCLA

VIRGINIA (Nike) AT SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (Nike)
UVA in white jerseys and orange pants, USC in Cardinal red jerseys and gold pants. I was all set to give the nod to VA for the orange pants, but then I saw the dark blue Nike-spooge on them that looks like they all had blue pens in their pockets and all the ink leaked out!
WINNER: SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

SOUTH DAKOTA (Nike) AT MINNESOTA (Nike)
SD in all white with red block numbers and helmets. Plain but not screwy. Gophers in maroon jerseys and yellow pants with some maroon Nike-spooge at the knees. I am not a fan of maroon, and it's way overused.
WINNER: SOUTH DAKOTA

2010 FASHION BOWL SUBDIVISION STANDINGS AS OF SEP 12
Iowa (Nike) 2-0
LSU (Nike) 2-0
Notre Dame (Adidas) 2-0
Ohio State (Nike) 2-0
Southern California (Nike) 2-0
Wisconsin (Adidas) 2-0
Air Force (Nike) 1-0
Alabama (Nike) 1-0
Arizona (Nike) 1-0
Auburn (Under Armour) 1-0
Boise State (Nike) 1-0
California (Nike) 1-0
Clemson (Nike) 1-0
Connecticut (Nike) 1-0
East Carolina (Nike) 1-0
Florida (Nike) 1-0
Florida Atlantic (Adidas) 1-0
Fresno State (Nike) 1-0
Georgia (Nike) 1-0
Houston (Nike) 1-0
Indiana (Adidas) 1-0
Kansas (Adidas) 1-0
Kansas State (Nike) 1-0
Kent State (Nike) 1-0
Memphis (Nike) 1-0
Middle Tennessee State (Nike) 1-0
Navy (Nike) 1-0
Northwestern (Nike) 1-0
Oklahoma (Nike) 1-0
Oregon State (Nike) 1-0
Pittsburgh (Nike) 1-0
Rice (Nike) 1-0
SMU (Adidas) 1-0
Southern Mississippi (Nike) 1-0
Temple (Under Armour) 1-0
Tennessee (Adidas) 1-0
Tulane (Nike) 1-0
Western Michigan (Adidas) 1-0
Marshall (Nike) 1-1
Purdue (Nike) 1-1
UCLA (Adidas) 1-1
Illinois (Nike) 1-1
Iowa State (Nike) 1-1
Mississippi (Nike) 1-1
Penn State (Nike) 1-1
Boston College (Under Armour) 0-1
BYU (Nike) 0-1
Central Michigan (Adidas) 0-1
Cincinnati (Adidas) 0-1
Colorado (Nike) 0-1
Georgia Tech (Russell) 0-1
Hawaii (Under Armour) 0-1
Maryland (Under Armour) 0-1
Miami FL (Nike) 0-1
Miami OH (Adidas) 0-1
Missouri (Nike) 0-1
North Carolina (Nike) 0-1
North Texas (Under Armour) 0-1
Northern Illinois (Adidas) 0-1
Oregon (Nike) 0-1
San Jose State (Nike) 0-1
Stanford (Nike) 0-1
TCU (Nike) 0-1
Texas (Nike) 0-1
Texas Tech (Under Armour) 0-1
Toledo (Under Armour) 0-1
Tulsa (Nike) 0-1
UNLV (Nike) 0-1
Utah (Under Armour) 0-1
UTEP (Nike) 0-1
Vanderbilt (Nike) 0-1
Virginia (Nike) 0-1
Virginia Tech (Nike) 0-1
West Virginia (Nike) 0-1
Florida State (Nike) 0-2
Michigan (Adidas) 0-2
Michigan State (Nike) 0-2
Minnesota (Nike) 0-2
Mississippi State (Adidas) 0-2
South Carolina (Under Armour) 0-2

2010 FASHION CHAMPIONSHIP SUBDIVISION STANDINGS AS OF SEP 12
Samford (Russell) 1-0
South Dakota (Nike) 1-0
Southern (Russell) 1-0
Southern Illinois (Under Armour) 1-0
Delaware State (Russell) 0-1
Eastern Illinois (New Balance) 0-1
Illinois State (Nike) 0-1
Jacksonville State (Adidas) 0-1
Towson (Under Armour) 0-1
Western Illinois (Adidas) 0-1
Youngstown State (Under Armour) 0-1