NATIONAL FASHION LEAGUE - EXHIBITION WEEK 4 IN REVIEW
by Mr. Coloredwell

NEW ENGLAND AT NY GIANTS
Cheaters in white with blue pants, G-men in blue with grey pants. No contest.
WINNER: NY GIANTS

WASHINGTON AT ARIZONA
Burgundyskins in white with burgundy pants, Cards in...what? Black jerseys and white pants, slight traces of red, black spooge on the pants. The Cardinals wearing hardly any cardinal. Yeah, sure, that makes sense.
WINNER: WASHINGTON

SAN DIEGO AT SAN FRANCISCO
Chargers in white with dark blue pants, 49ers in red with gold pants. The dark blue is winless. Take the hint, Bolts! No powder blue = no win for you!
WINNER: SAN FRANCISCO

TAMPA BAY AT HOUSTON
Bucs in all white, Texans in blue with white pants. Tampa's look is solid, even if it's not creamsicle.
WINNER: TAMPA BAY

BALTIMORE AT ST LOUIS
Ravens in all white, Rams in blue with gold pants. Ravens look like crap no matter what. Rams have a nice home look, plus their turf is not as ugly anymore.
WINNER: ST LOUIS

BUFFALO AT DETROIT
Bills in all white, Lions in blue with silver pants. Bills road uni wildly inconsistent. The dark blue rectangle at the top of the jersey is bad enough, and then it doesn't even match the blue of the numbers. The red down the side of the jersey is bad enough, and then it doesn't even match the pant stripe.
WINNER: DETROIT

DENVER AT MINNESOTA
Broncos in all white, Vikings in purple and white. Spooge abounds. Ick. Vikes win on color.
WINNER: MINNESOTA

MIAMI AT DALLAS
Dolphins in aqua and white, Cowboys in white and metallic blue. Not sure why, but the 'Boys look seems off somehow. The pants look silver, and the blue looks dark. Maybe it's their own new stadium making all their colors look dull. Miami's colors, however, really pop here.
WINNER: MIAMI

GREEN BAY AT KANSAS CITY
Biggest uni matchup of the exhibition season. Pack in white with gold pants and green socks, Chiefs in red with white pants and red socks. Two of the best. This is a tough call, and it could have a ripple effect thru the rest of the season. If KC had gold pants...but they don't. GB has the Jello 123 thing happening.
WINNER (BY A THREAD): GREEN BAY

ATLANTA AT JACKSONVILLE
Falcons in all white, Jags in teal and white. Not many things make me gag. Teal does.
WINNER: ATLANTA

CHICAGO AT CLEVELAND
Bears in white with navy pants, Browns in brown with white pants. Pretty orange trim all around. If only Cleveland would go back to orange pants. As it is, the '85 Bears look wins out in a close call.
WINNER: CHICAGO

NY JETS AT PHILADELPHIA
Jets in green with white pants, Eagles in white with green pants. Seeing these teams side by side, you can see just what a crappy shade of green Philly wears.
WINNER: NY JETS

CAROLINA AT PITTSBURGH
Panthers in all white, Steelers in black and gold. Panther blue meets its match.
WINNER: PITTSBURGH

SEATTLE AT OAKLAND
Seahawks in all white, Raiders in black and silver. Shiny pants and sparkly helmets! Whee!
WINNER: OAKLAND

NEW ORLEANS AT TENNESSEE
Saints in white with gold pants, Titans in light blue jerseys and dark blue pants. Actually, with the white helmets, Titans almost have their own differently-proportioned Jello 123 look, but the dark blue shoulders ruin it. And the crap numbers. Oh, and that towel incident.
WINNER: NEW ORLEANS

CINCINNATI AT INDIANAPOLIS
Bungles in white with black pants, Colts in blue with white pants. Can't we just burn down the whole city of Cincinnati, just to make sure we destroy all the disgusting football uniforms in that dump?
WINNER: INDIANAPOLIS

And with that, we begin our 4-week boycott of the entire NFL, until Ben Roethlisberger's suspension is over. We here at The Duck Pond still believe in DUE PROCESS, a concept that clearly escapes douchebags like Roger Goodell (and for that matter, Duxoop's former place of work). See you in Week 5.

Meanwhile, my review of the first week of college football is coming up in a day or two. No rest for Mr. C!

2010 NATIONAL FASHION LEAGUE STANDINGS (thru Week 4)
Chicago Bears 4-0
Green Bay Packers 4-0
New Orleans Saints 4-0
Pittsburgh Steelers 4-0
Washington Redskins 4-0
Miami Dolphins 3-1
San Francisco 49ers 3-1
New York Giants 3-1
St Louis Rams 3-1
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-1
Indianapolis Colts 3-1
Kansas City Chiefs 3-1
Dallas Cowboys 3-2
Atlanta Falcons 2-2
Detroit Lions 2-2
New York Jets 2-2
Oakland Raiders 2-2
Cleveland Browns 2-2
Carolina Panthers 2-2
Seattle Seahawks 2-2
Philadelphia Eagles 2-2
Minnesota Vikings 1-3
Buffalo Bills 1-3
Tennessee Titans 1-3
Denver Broncos 1-3
Houston Texans 1-3
Arizona Cardinals 0-4
Baltimore Ravens 0-4
Jacksonville Jaguars 0-4
New England Patriots 0-4
San Diego Chargers 0-4
Cincinnati Bengals 0-5