KARAOKE RECAP: THURSDAY, DECEMBER 30, MUTZ, 5 SONGS

NEW--Heart-Shaped Box--Nirvana--I'd been putting it off for a couple weeks.
NEW--Cruisin'--Huey Lewis & Gwyneth Paltrow--A duet: Tina & Czarnina! Stole it from Doug. Nailed, like, 95% of it.
1979--Smashing Pumpkins--Decided to do 'year' songs for New Year's.
1985--Bowling For Soup--Ouch. Now I remember why I shelved this a month ago.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Really nailing it now. And good crowd response.

PS: The two new songs brought my grand total to 250! Round numbers, you gotta love 'em.

KARAOKE RECAP: WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, CENTER COURT, 2 SONGS

Suck On My Cock--John Valby--It's SOOOOO last week, but 'twas a request, by a woman who thought it was too good for me to have written it. Uh huh.
NEW--Vincent--Don McLean--Heard it in the grocery store that morning, had it stuck in my head all fucking day. Only one way to get it out. I was not happy with it. The timing is very tricky.

KARAOKE RECAPS:

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 22, CENTER COURT, 3 SONGS

Marijuanaville--David Allan Coe--Going for the funny tonight.
Are You Lonesome Tonight--Sam Kinison--Very well-received.
Suck On My Cock--John Valby--And of course they dig this too.

THURSDAY, DEC. 23, MUTZ, 3 SONGS

Mexican Radio--Wall Of Voodoo
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--I was right. 2nd time...nailed it.
Not For You--Pearl Jam

FASCIST PIG OF THE YEAR

Congrats to George W. Bush on being named Time Magazine's "Person Of The Year". WTG, Dubya, you are now in appropriate company. Namely, Hitler and the Ayatollah. Both role models of yours, no doubt.

KARAOKE RECAP: MONDAY, DEC. 20, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 4 SONGS

NEW--Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Was compelled to try it. Dunno why. Coulda gone an octave lower, but I just get tired of myself and my EVV sometimes. So I took a chance and went high where the real vocal is. Voice cracked once or twice where it shouldn't, but otherwise I did good. I think next shot at this I'll nail it.
My Way--Frank Sinatra--Duet with Sir Bob ("My liege!"). Gave him the low verses while me and my EVV took the high bridges. He didn't think he could do it, but he did damn good. Face it, Sinatra's singing skills are overrated.
Here Comes The Sun--The Beatles--To mark the winter solstice. Last week I woulda had to change it to "There Goes The Sun".
Dixie Rose Deluxe's...--Trent Willmon--It was this or "Tuesday's Gone". This was shorter and I had to leave for work. Can still nail it without looking at the words.

KARAOKE RECAP: SATURDAY, DEC. 18, MUTZ, 6 SONGS

NEW--AM Radio--Everclear
Love Shack--The B-52's--Duet with Sam. He did the female vocals. Would you believe this was his idea, not mine? Of course, my Fred Schneider voice is much better. As for Sam, he couldn't quite settle on a voice. Kept switching between Joe Cocker, Prince and Lisa Loeb.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic
NEW--Old Apartment--Barenaked Ladies
Suck On My Cock--John Valby--Very well-received. So naturally I was told I can't sing it anymore.
Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--Duet with Sam. Not bad when you consider Sam was drunk off his ass.

KARAOKE RECAPS (DEC 8-15)

Note: Got to catch up on recaps. So here's the current backlog. From now on, I'll try my best to post each appearance individually.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8, CENTER COURT, 4 SONGS

And the addiction begins to take a stranglehold on me. Added Wednesday to the sked. Only had time for 1 song last week ("Marijuanaville" [see footnote], forgot to add it to last week's recap. Short-term memory failure!), but this week I got there earlier.

NEW--Slither--Velvet Revolver--Doug paid $20 to get this for me, and says I damn well better sing it. So this was a chance to practice it.
If I Had $1,000,000--Barenaked Ladies--Someone else did this so I offered to do the 2nd vocal part.
Outside--Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst--Turned out to be some fucked up shortened version, so I'm not even counting it.
Fuck It--Eamon--Not really in my range, by the end I had to do a Frankie Valli voice to stay in key. ("Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now...Sheeeeerrrrrry baaaaabyyyyy!") Odd.
NEW--Drinkin' Bone--Tracy Byrd--Been planning on stealing this from Doug for weeks. Chance to practice. Piece o' cake. Muwahahahaaa!

[Footnote: Due to my strong personal beliefs, I wish to stress that my performance of the song "Marijuanaville" in no way endorses the activities described therein.]

Note: I passed on Jalapeno's Friday. Too tired, and too far to get home. Besides, Friday night is ALF's Hit Talk Show night!

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11, MUTZ, 4 SONGS
Drinkin' Bone--Tracy Byrd--Time to piss Doug off and officially steal it. Someone told me later that I did it better. Muwahahahaaa!
Slither--Velvet Revolver--Time to appease Doug by giving him his 20 bucks worth.
Float On--Modest Mouse--Dancin' Sarah returned this week, she usually sings this, but never heard me do it.
NEW--The Distance--Cake--Finally got around to this one. Was inspired by the Earnhardt movie playing on the telly.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 13, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS

Insensitive--Jann Arden--Decided to play nice.
NEW--Cumbersome--Seven Mary Three--Heard it at CC, thot I'd try it. Not bad.

WEDNESDAY, DEMCMBER 15, CENTER COURT, 3 SONGS
Take Me Out--Franz Ferdinand--Making this one my own.
Float On--Modest Mouse--I really like the parts where I'm actually supposed to let my voice crack. Takes SO much pressure off.
Suck On My Cock--John Valby--Had to practice it for Saturday. Or just in case they don't let me do it Saturday. At least I can do it at CC, the crowd there loved it.

Note: Passed on Jalapeno's again. See previous note.

I COULD BE ALL CHEERFUL, BUT I'D STILL HAVE TO BUM RIDES OFF PEOPLE

Normally I try to keep the Pond an Xmas-free zone, but if I were ever to sing a holiday song at karaoke, it'd be this one. Sadly, Premiere Karaoke doesn't have the original (yet). It's a parody of "God" by John Lennon, called "Santa". The other day Steve Dahl played it as recorded by Jay Goeppner, formerly of the Beatle Brothers. To hear it go to dahl.com, then "recent shows", then select Monday (Dec. 13) and go about 1:33:33 into the show. Or you can be a lazy ass and just read the lyrics below. I recommend listening to it, because Goeppner does the best John Lennon imitation since...well, since Julian Lennon.

"Santa"
Santa's a concept
By which we commercialize
The holiday
I'll say it again
Santa's a concept
By which we commercialize
The holiday
I don't believe in Rudolph
I don't believe in Frosty
I don't believe in sleigh rides
I don't believe in Tiny Tim
I don't believe in Nutcracker
I don't believe in 34th Street
I don't believe in decking the halls
I don't believe in elves
I don't believe in mistletoe
I don't believe in Jingle Bells
I don't believe in eggnog
I don't believe in Jack Frost
I don't believe in George Bailey
I don't believe in Tannenbaums
I don't believe in Christmas songs
I just believe in peace
Peace throughout the year
Holiday cheer
The holiday is over
What can I say?
The holiday is over
Like any other day
I was excited once
But now I am not
I was all cheerful
But now I'm shot
And so dear friends
We've got 12 more months left to shop
The holiday is over

BUZZ KILMAN'S TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES OF 2004

At the time of this writing, this list was not posted on Buzz's page, so here ya go!

10. Bunny Brains
9. Two-Cow Garage
8. Quarter-Barrel Cheryl
7. Attila The Stockbroker
6. Flabby Hoffman
5. Toast Face
4. The Well-Hungarians
3. The Flying Hamsters Of Doom
2. Think Floyd

And Buzz Kilman's choice for best band name of 2004...

1. Bad Haggis

~~~~~~~~~~

PS: The Weekly Karaoke Recap is being retooled. Since I now karaoke up to 4 times a week (yes, I freely admit, my addiction has consumed me), my karaoke recaps will now be split up into individual days, and will be posted (en masse if need be) whenever I get around to it.

WEEKLY KARAOKE RECAP

FRIDAY, JALAPENO'S, 2 SONGS

Insensitive--Jann Arden--Fittingly sad, of course. "I fell too fast, I feel too much..." No shit, Sure-lick.
Runaway Train--Soul Asylum--Another sad song, but this one I had to do simply because Steve Dahl played it a few days before, and when I get a song stuck in my head like that there's only one thing to do. (Before it vanishes, I highly recommend listening to last Wednesday's Dahl show, about 3 hours 20 minutes in. Steve does an acoustic version of the song with Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum. Very funny and very good.)

SATURDAY, MUTZ, 4 SONGS

Took my new lady friend to karaoke for a second time. The first time I strayed from my A material, thus she wasn't overly impressed, so this time I wanted to bring out at least one or two of my big guns.

Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--A December must-sing.
Outside--Staind--Went back to the original for the first time in a long time. I wanted to belt it out. I think lady friend was impressed.
What's New Pussycat--Tom Jones--One for lady friend. Hope I didn't embarrass you, dear.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic--She left early, so I was free to work the ladies in the crowd. (I know, I'm a scumbag.) Toward the end some guy nearby was not quite heckling but just being kinda loud and obnoxious, so he became the last line target. Also I added to my primal scream on the last note by collapsing onto the floor. Hey, it was a long and eventful night.

MONDAY, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS

Runaway Train--Soul Asylum--This was still stuck in my head so I kicked things off with it.
Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--Tis the season. Whatever.

WEEKLY KARAOKE RECAP (NOVEMBER 27-29)

Very truncated week. I would have gone to Mutz Thursday but they were closed. Friday I was too tired to have to bike home from Jalapeno's, so I stayed home, watched my CBC shows, then ALF's Hit Talk Show, then passed out to rest up for Saturday.

SATURDAY, MUTZ, 2 SONGS
Ran the show. 45 singers. Once I got past an initial technical problem, things ran smoothly.

Outside (live acoustic version)--Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst--Was a little rattled from the tech snafu, and it showed. Kinda shaky.
Hunger Strike--Temple Of The Dog--Talked comrade Jason into doing the Chris Cornell part. Started a bit iffy but finished strong.

MONDAY, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 3 SONGS
Bizarro week: Got more songs in Monday than Saturday.

Hurt--Johnny Cash--A slow one to start. It was in my head as I walked there.
Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--Tis the season. After this past Halloween, this song takes on a whole new meaning for me! Usually a duet with Doug but he made me go solo this time.
Amber--311--Came up on the in-between rotation, you know how it is. I'm still not happy with it but it's still better than my other 311 attempts.