CATCHING UP...
A couple of items I had planned to post over this past weekend:
***
SOUTHWYCK MALL
1972-2008
R.I.P.
***
The new WGN America logo is hideous. Disturbing, distracting, and an 'eye'-sore. Looks like anime. I HATE anime. It needs to be removed ASAP.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
MICE ON LARRY
Cathy Crowell Webb died last week at age 46 after a 6-year battle with breast cancer. She is known for falsely accusing Gary Dotson of rape in 1977, an accusation she recanted 8 years later. Subsequent hearings on the case later resulted in Dotson becoming the first person in U.S. history to be exonerated by DNA evidence. Click here to read an excellent summary of the case.
After that I highly recommend going to Dahl.com where you can hear the classic song Steve Dahl recorded about the case, "11x3" (titled after the size of an underwear stain which you will learn more about in that aforementioned summary). The song was always one of my favorites even though it didn't all make sense to me, since I was never really familiar with the case. Then I read the summary and sure enough, everything mentioned in the song is in there.
Cathy Crowell Webb died last week at age 46 after a 6-year battle with breast cancer. She is known for falsely accusing Gary Dotson of rape in 1977, an accusation she recanted 8 years later. Subsequent hearings on the case later resulted in Dotson becoming the first person in U.S. history to be exonerated by DNA evidence. Click here to read an excellent summary of the case.
After that I highly recommend going to Dahl.com where you can hear the classic song Steve Dahl recorded about the case, "11x3" (titled after the size of an underwear stain which you will learn more about in that aforementioned summary). The song was always one of my favorites even though it didn't all make sense to me, since I was never really familiar with the case. Then I read the summary and sure enough, everything mentioned in the song is in there.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thought my fellow Dahl fans out there would enjoy this...
FROM THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE WEBSITE:
Wednesday, May 14, 10:37 AM: Doughnuts for deputies land reporter in a hole
Brendan Greeley
In the weeks leading up to the R. Kelly trial, it was clear the Cook County sheriff's department was determined to keep a tight rein on the media. But an incident Wednesday morning showed just how seriously they're taking that mission.
Law-enforcement officials threatened to pull the media credential of a radio reporter who brought doughnuts for deputies working outside the building. Brendan Greeley, who works for "The Steve Dahl Show" on WJMK-FM104.3, brought the treats to thank officers who had been kind to him during the first three days of jury selection.
The deputies, among many other helpful actions, typically give reporters and photographers a few minutes' warning before Kelly arrives so they can have their cameras positioned. When Greeley mentioned this to his boss, Dahl suggested he bring two dozen doughnuts on Wednesday as a show of gratitude.
"It was a warm gesture," Greeley said.
Law-enforcement officials said high-ranking officers heard Dahl discussing the doughnuts during Tuesday's show and feared that the public would consider the snacks a bribe for information.
Around 7:45 a.m Wednesday, a Dahl intern showed up with two dozen Dunkin Donuts. Greeley said the treats were "a nice variety: glazed, chocolate dipped, powdered, cinnamon."
Several deputies declined Greeley's treats before an officer approached him and told him he was being a distraction. He told Greeley, who was not on air while passing out the snacks, that his credential would be taken away if he brought doughnuts again.
It's not unusual for reporters to bring treats for deputies during high-profile or prolonged cases. During the Brown's Chicken & Pasta murder trial last year—also held in Cook County Judge Vincent Gaughan's courtroom—reporters brought bagels, cookies and doughnuts throughout the six-week trial.
Gaughan has been aware of past treats and never prohibited the goodwill gesture. It's highly unlikely he knew of Greeley's situation this morning.
To maintain order during the R. Kelly trial, the judge appointed a media committee to voice concerns or address problems that arise during the case. The committee said today that it would have opposed any sanctions against Greeley because there's nothing in the judge's order that prohibits the sharing of doughnuts—chocolate dipped or otherwise.
"I'm just happy to still have my credential," Greeley said. "It was just a gesture."
--Stacy St. Clair
Click here to view one of Brendan's courtroom sketches from the R. Kelly trial.
FROM THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE WEBSITE:
Wednesday, May 14, 10:37 AM: Doughnuts for deputies land reporter in a hole
Brendan Greeley
In the weeks leading up to the R. Kelly trial, it was clear the Cook County sheriff's department was determined to keep a tight rein on the media. But an incident Wednesday morning showed just how seriously they're taking that mission.
Law-enforcement officials threatened to pull the media credential of a radio reporter who brought doughnuts for deputies working outside the building. Brendan Greeley, who works for "The Steve Dahl Show" on WJMK-FM104.3, brought the treats to thank officers who had been kind to him during the first three days of jury selection.
The deputies, among many other helpful actions, typically give reporters and photographers a few minutes' warning before Kelly arrives so they can have their cameras positioned. When Greeley mentioned this to his boss, Dahl suggested he bring two dozen doughnuts on Wednesday as a show of gratitude.
"It was a warm gesture," Greeley said.
Law-enforcement officials said high-ranking officers heard Dahl discussing the doughnuts during Tuesday's show and feared that the public would consider the snacks a bribe for information.
Around 7:45 a.m Wednesday, a Dahl intern showed up with two dozen Dunkin Donuts. Greeley said the treats were "a nice variety: glazed, chocolate dipped, powdered, cinnamon."
Several deputies declined Greeley's treats before an officer approached him and told him he was being a distraction. He told Greeley, who was not on air while passing out the snacks, that his credential would be taken away if he brought doughnuts again.
It's not unusual for reporters to bring treats for deputies during high-profile or prolonged cases. During the Brown's Chicken & Pasta murder trial last year—also held in Cook County Judge Vincent Gaughan's courtroom—reporters brought bagels, cookies and doughnuts throughout the six-week trial.
Gaughan has been aware of past treats and never prohibited the goodwill gesture. It's highly unlikely he knew of Greeley's situation this morning.
To maintain order during the R. Kelly trial, the judge appointed a media committee to voice concerns or address problems that arise during the case. The committee said today that it would have opposed any sanctions against Greeley because there's nothing in the judge's order that prohibits the sharing of doughnuts—chocolate dipped or otherwise.
"I'm just happy to still have my credential," Greeley said. "It was just a gesture."
--Stacy St. Clair
Click here to view one of Brendan's courtroom sketches from the R. Kelly trial.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
THE TREASURE OF THE ARCHIVO ROJO (EPISODE 1)
It figures. Just three days into my new daily blogging policy and I'm already blanking. But not to worry, for I have a healthy stash of archived material to fall back on. I recently recovered my long-lost Red Folder, which contains a buttload of insane song lyrics, short stories, and other assorted weirdness from my younger days.
Today, in our first installment, we'll take a look at a much-talked-about classic: "Fun With Googols", a piece inspired by Carl Sagan's "Cosmos", based on the numbers googol and googolplex. A googol is 10 to the hundredth power, or a one followed by 100 zeros. Here's one now:
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
And a googolplex is a one followed by a googol zeros (which I will not type out here, let alone write it out on a piece of paper since the amount of paper I'd need to do so could not fit within the known universe), also known as 10 to the power or a googol, or 10 to the 10 to the 100th.
This was as far as Dr. Sagan went on the subject, so I took it upon myself to go further. The next logical step was 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th, or 10 to the power of a googolplex, which would be a one followed by a googolplex zeros. I dubbed this number the 'googolduplex'.
Next there's the 'googolbonanza': 10 to the power of a googolduplex, or a one followed by a googolduplex zeros, or 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th, which can be sung to the tune of the "Bonanza" theme song.
After that was the 'googolcondominium', 10 to the power of a googolbonanza, or 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th.
Then I ramped things up quite a bit...
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes simplex
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes complex
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes duplex
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes duplex with a side order of fries and a small Pepsi and thanks for the memories
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = quadri-googol ouch you nasty eat my shorts shit to bed baby fuck me in the dick lick my boody bitch Obi-Wan Kenobi nerf herder in your ass and out your nose and round and round inside your toes gone with the Velveeta down the road changed into a ball of mold and a bacon double cheeseburger with onion rings and good night and good luck and good vibrations
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = quintuple googolot chicken butt turn around and lick it up Charlie Charlie two by four watch him eat the bathroom door if bearded clams make you sick get on your knees and suck my dick lick my boody lick some more lick my dookie off the floor get yourself a sadist whore make her throw you through the door up my asshole your tongue goes while I'm farting in your nose lick my balls ain't that nice now your beard is full of lice lick my great big herpes scabs now your mouth is full of crabs and a seafood platter with Dr. Pepper you selfish porkface now I'll never be satisfied
It's not included on the page I found, but I'm positive there was one more that was twice as long as that last one, and the name included my well-known 'Your mama' rap which gained a life of its own:
Your mama, your daddy, your bald-headed granny
Your two-timing uncle and your three-timing auntie
Your brother and your sister and your whole damn family
And your cross-eyed cousin who I fucked in the fanny
Your mama's a ho, your daddy's a slut
Your bald-headed granny gets fucked in the butt
Your brother's a bastard, your sister's a bitch
And you have the crabs, no wonder you itch!
It figures. Just three days into my new daily blogging policy and I'm already blanking. But not to worry, for I have a healthy stash of archived material to fall back on. I recently recovered my long-lost Red Folder, which contains a buttload of insane song lyrics, short stories, and other assorted weirdness from my younger days.
Today, in our first installment, we'll take a look at a much-talked-about classic: "Fun With Googols", a piece inspired by Carl Sagan's "Cosmos", based on the numbers googol and googolplex. A googol is 10 to the hundredth power, or a one followed by 100 zeros. Here's one now:
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
And a googolplex is a one followed by a googol zeros (which I will not type out here, let alone write it out on a piece of paper since the amount of paper I'd need to do so could not fit within the known universe), also known as 10 to the power or a googol, or 10 to the 10 to the 100th.
This was as far as Dr. Sagan went on the subject, so I took it upon myself to go further. The next logical step was 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th, or 10 to the power of a googolplex, which would be a one followed by a googolplex zeros. I dubbed this number the 'googolduplex'.
Next there's the 'googolbonanza': 10 to the power of a googolduplex, or a one followed by a googolduplex zeros, or 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th, which can be sung to the tune of the "Bonanza" theme song.
After that was the 'googolcondominium', 10 to the power of a googolbonanza, or 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th.
Then I ramped things up quite a bit...
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes simplex
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes complex
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes duplex
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = googolherpes duplex with a side order of fries and a small Pepsi and thanks for the memories
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = quadri-googol ouch you nasty eat my shorts shit to bed baby fuck me in the dick lick my boody bitch Obi-Wan Kenobi nerf herder in your ass and out your nose and round and round inside your toes gone with the Velveeta down the road changed into a ball of mold and a bacon double cheeseburger with onion rings and good night and good luck and good vibrations
10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 100th = quintuple googolot chicken butt turn around and lick it up Charlie Charlie two by four watch him eat the bathroom door if bearded clams make you sick get on your knees and suck my dick lick my boody lick some more lick my dookie off the floor get yourself a sadist whore make her throw you through the door up my asshole your tongue goes while I'm farting in your nose lick my balls ain't that nice now your beard is full of lice lick my great big herpes scabs now your mouth is full of crabs and a seafood platter with Dr. Pepper you selfish porkface now I'll never be satisfied
It's not included on the page I found, but I'm positive there was one more that was twice as long as that last one, and the name included my well-known 'Your mama' rap which gained a life of its own:
Your mama, your daddy, your bald-headed granny
Your two-timing uncle and your three-timing auntie
Your brother and your sister and your whole damn family
And your cross-eyed cousin who I fucked in the fanny
Your mama's a ho, your daddy's a slut
Your bald-headed granny gets fucked in the butt
Your brother's a bastard, your sister's a bitch
And you have the crabs, no wonder you itch!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
18 HOLES AND A DOZEN (MINUS 5) FREAKIES
Some of you already know that I enjoy the occasional round of frisbee golf. (You probably also know that I always refer to it as 'frisbee golf', never 'disc golf', for the same reason most people refer to facial tissues as 'Kleenex' regardless of the brand. Do you know anyone who calls them 'Puffs'? I don't. If you asked someone for a 'Puff', you'd most likely get something other than a facial tissue. Which reminds me of that one Mitch Hedberg joke about how the Pringles company's original intent was to make tennis balls but they got a truckload of potatoes instead and since they're laid-back they said 'Fuck it, cut em up!' Do you think maybe the makers of Puffs originally intended to make rolling papers but they turned out too thin and flimsy and some pothead in the product-testing group sneezed and the rest was history?)
Well today I finally got around to moseying down the street to Highland park to plot out my own frisbee golf course. I managed to lay out a decent 18 holes, I think. And just like the first course I ever made up, at Walbridge Park, the entire course is reversible, meaning you can go around it clockwise or counterclockwise. This is because the immediate area around (almost) every 'hole' acts as the tee-off area for the next 'hole'.
Now, instead of the standard metal basket on a pole you find on an actual course nowadays, when making up my own course I have to use other objects as 'holes': trees, light poles, sign posts, whatever the park has to offer up. One of the 'holes' I picked out was an old, lumpy-looking tree which reminded me of the Freakies tree.
And at this point many of you are now wondering just what the flying French dip is the Freakies tree? For the answer to that, please view the video below.
"We never miss a meal / 'cause we love our cere-eel" has to be the most labored rhyme in commercial jingle history. And yes, I can name all 7 Freakies off the top of my head without the aid of the above video. The one I always have trouble remembering, though, is Hamhose. But how do you forget a name like Hamhose?? Especially when you're me?! Kind of sounds filthy when you think about it. "Hey broad, I got yer hamhose right here!" Perhaps the folks at Ralston Purina were intentionally warping my little 8-year-old mind with that stuff. I love the 70s.
The sad fact, though, is that I never, not once, actually ate Freakies cereal. For whatever reason. I think maybe by the time I got to the point where I went with my mom to the grocery store on a regular basis, Freakies cereal was gone. Always saw the commercials, never got to try it. Same with Koogle. What, you don't remember Koogle either? Twas a peanut butter that came in 4 flavors: chocolate, vanilla, banana, and cinnamon. (For more on Koogle, click here. Or, you could Google Koogle!)
Perhaps it's just as well. Odds are I would have liked both Freakies and Koogle. (I might have even combined them.) But then, with their disappearances, they would have joined a long list of grocery items I absolutely loved that got discontinued. Been happening all my life. It's a conspiracy, I tells ya! Campbell's Meatball Alphabet soup, Snyder's Coney Island Potato Chips (hot dog and mustard flavor!), Zotz (the fizzy candy), Kroger fish cakes, the list goes on and on.
And then add the fact that Pizza Hut still (after more than 2 decades) has yet to bring back the Priazzo, and you can see why I get paranoid about this kind of shit. (You can also see how I got fat.)
Some of you already know that I enjoy the occasional round of frisbee golf. (You probably also know that I always refer to it as 'frisbee golf', never 'disc golf', for the same reason most people refer to facial tissues as 'Kleenex' regardless of the brand. Do you know anyone who calls them 'Puffs'? I don't. If you asked someone for a 'Puff', you'd most likely get something other than a facial tissue. Which reminds me of that one Mitch Hedberg joke about how the Pringles company's original intent was to make tennis balls but they got a truckload of potatoes instead and since they're laid-back they said 'Fuck it, cut em up!' Do you think maybe the makers of Puffs originally intended to make rolling papers but they turned out too thin and flimsy and some pothead in the product-testing group sneezed and the rest was history?)
Well today I finally got around to moseying down the street to Highland park to plot out my own frisbee golf course. I managed to lay out a decent 18 holes, I think. And just like the first course I ever made up, at Walbridge Park, the entire course is reversible, meaning you can go around it clockwise or counterclockwise. This is because the immediate area around (almost) every 'hole' acts as the tee-off area for the next 'hole'.
Now, instead of the standard metal basket on a pole you find on an actual course nowadays, when making up my own course I have to use other objects as 'holes': trees, light poles, sign posts, whatever the park has to offer up. One of the 'holes' I picked out was an old, lumpy-looking tree which reminded me of the Freakies tree.
And at this point many of you are now wondering just what the flying French dip is the Freakies tree? For the answer to that, please view the video below.
"We never miss a meal / 'cause we love our cere-eel" has to be the most labored rhyme in commercial jingle history. And yes, I can name all 7 Freakies off the top of my head without the aid of the above video. The one I always have trouble remembering, though, is Hamhose. But how do you forget a name like Hamhose?? Especially when you're me?! Kind of sounds filthy when you think about it. "Hey broad, I got yer hamhose right here!" Perhaps the folks at Ralston Purina were intentionally warping my little 8-year-old mind with that stuff. I love the 70s.
The sad fact, though, is that I never, not once, actually ate Freakies cereal. For whatever reason. I think maybe by the time I got to the point where I went with my mom to the grocery store on a regular basis, Freakies cereal was gone. Always saw the commercials, never got to try it. Same with Koogle. What, you don't remember Koogle either? Twas a peanut butter that came in 4 flavors: chocolate, vanilla, banana, and cinnamon. (For more on Koogle, click here. Or, you could Google Koogle!)
Perhaps it's just as well. Odds are I would have liked both Freakies and Koogle. (I might have even combined them.) But then, with their disappearances, they would have joined a long list of grocery items I absolutely loved that got discontinued. Been happening all my life. It's a conspiracy, I tells ya! Campbell's Meatball Alphabet soup, Snyder's Coney Island Potato Chips (hot dog and mustard flavor!), Zotz (the fizzy candy), Kroger fish cakes, the list goes on and on.
And then add the fact that Pizza Hut still (after more than 2 decades) has yet to bring back the Priazzo, and you can see why I get paranoid about this kind of shit. (You can also see how I got fat.)
Monday, May 12, 2008
REDISCOVERING MY OWN BLOG
I probably need to start writing for the Pond more often, just in case anyone out there is actually checking it for new content. Who am I to deprive you, dear readers, of the joy of looking at whatever drivel I post here and thinking to yourself "Why do I give two festering donkey turds what Ducksoup has to say about anything?!"
It never fails to astonish me when people I don't know come up to me and know me via the karaoke circuit and think I'm the shiznit. It's a feelgood and all, but something about it just doesn't seem right. At least nobody has asked for my autograph yet. That's when I will know things are really, really screwy.
So, just in case any of these folks are googling me, I am going to try to get myself in the habit of keeping a regular stream of posts coming. These will most likely be like my previous "Random Thoughts" posts. Let's see how long I can keep it up...
I tried to keep the weekly ALF Cup 'Game Balls' going, and we all can see how that went. Doesn't exactly give me hope for this whole 'regular posting' thing, but anyhoo on the subject of the telly, I just finished watching the second season of "Dexter" at watchdexterepisodes.com, after watching the first season on CBS. I can't wait for more. Friggin' awesome show. He's a forensics expert who's also a serial killer, but with a strict moral code: he only kills other killers. I strongly recommend you treat yourself to your own Dexter marathon. All 24 eps are there. Ding!
Ok, that's my TV tout for today, here's a movie tout: "The Legend Of 1900". A quirky film with a great story with plenty of gorgeous music. An amazingly talented piano player is born on a ship in the year 1900 and spends his whole life on board. Lots of cool scenes, like when he befriends the new trumpet player in the ship's band during a rough storm, during which he plays up a storm as they and the piano roll all around the ballroom. Then there's the piano duel with jazz 'inventor' Jelly Roll Morton...let's just say it's smokin' hot. And if you have a good ear, you might notice that his song inspired by 'the girl' walking by the window as he's recording it has the same melody as the song over the end credits, "Lost Boys Calling" by Roger Waters. So do yourself a favor and go find it wherever you get your movies.
That's all for today. Luckily I have a lot of material stockpiled for days when I have nothing new to think up, including the entire contents of my long-lost, just-recovered 'Red Folder' from my days in Grand Rapids at the Job Corps! All the lyrics of songs I wrote in my younger days (yes they are just as f'd up as my recent creations), my brief but classic series of 'Teletypes' (in which I sat with my typewriter channel-surfing and typing in a sentence from each channel until I had a whole page of non-sequiturs from the TV which at times seemed to relate to each other), short stories, the writings of a fellow corpsmember which I copied and archived for posterity, and lots more.
See you tomorrow. Unless I forget.
(PS: Also I probably should post more text and fewer pics just so the page will load faster. But the pics ARE good. Damn good. Just check out the most recent pic just below this. What a whack job. She's like Nathan Thurm now. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!)
I probably need to start writing for the Pond more often, just in case anyone out there is actually checking it for new content. Who am I to deprive you, dear readers, of the joy of looking at whatever drivel I post here and thinking to yourself "Why do I give two festering donkey turds what Ducksoup has to say about anything?!"
It never fails to astonish me when people I don't know come up to me and know me via the karaoke circuit and think I'm the shiznit. It's a feelgood and all, but something about it just doesn't seem right. At least nobody has asked for my autograph yet. That's when I will know things are really, really screwy.
So, just in case any of these folks are googling me, I am going to try to get myself in the habit of keeping a regular stream of posts coming. These will most likely be like my previous "Random Thoughts" posts. Let's see how long I can keep it up...
I tried to keep the weekly ALF Cup 'Game Balls' going, and we all can see how that went. Doesn't exactly give me hope for this whole 'regular posting' thing, but anyhoo on the subject of the telly, I just finished watching the second season of "Dexter" at watchdexterepisodes.com, after watching the first season on CBS. I can't wait for more. Friggin' awesome show. He's a forensics expert who's also a serial killer, but with a strict moral code: he only kills other killers. I strongly recommend you treat yourself to your own Dexter marathon. All 24 eps are there. Ding!
Ok, that's my TV tout for today, here's a movie tout: "The Legend Of 1900". A quirky film with a great story with plenty of gorgeous music. An amazingly talented piano player is born on a ship in the year 1900 and spends his whole life on board. Lots of cool scenes, like when he befriends the new trumpet player in the ship's band during a rough storm, during which he plays up a storm as they and the piano roll all around the ballroom. Then there's the piano duel with jazz 'inventor' Jelly Roll Morton...let's just say it's smokin' hot. And if you have a good ear, you might notice that his song inspired by 'the girl' walking by the window as he's recording it has the same melody as the song over the end credits, "Lost Boys Calling" by Roger Waters. So do yourself a favor and go find it wherever you get your movies.
That's all for today. Luckily I have a lot of material stockpiled for days when I have nothing new to think up, including the entire contents of my long-lost, just-recovered 'Red Folder' from my days in Grand Rapids at the Job Corps! All the lyrics of songs I wrote in my younger days (yes they are just as f'd up as my recent creations), my brief but classic series of 'Teletypes' (in which I sat with my typewriter channel-surfing and typing in a sentence from each channel until I had a whole page of non-sequiturs from the TV which at times seemed to relate to each other), short stories, the writings of a fellow corpsmember which I copied and archived for posterity, and lots more.
See you tomorrow. Unless I forget.
(PS: Also I probably should post more text and fewer pics just so the page will load faster. But the pics ARE good. Damn good. Just check out the most recent pic just below this. What a whack job. She's like Nathan Thurm now. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
ALF CUP 2008: WEEK 11 GAME BALLS
Gotta give one to South Park for another fine new ep. Leave Britney alone! And one to Nathan Fielder for his latest "On Your Side" segment. I wouldn't be surprised to see a half-hour "On Your Side" compilation special on CBC after 22's current season ends. (Hint hint, Mr. Farrell!)
But the biggest game ball this week goes to a website. March Madness caused Dexter to start way late, so my DVR only got the first 5 minutes. My brother's DVR got the same. Panic-stricken, I searched the internet to find a download. No luck. It looked as though, after 3 first-place and 2 second-place finishes in its first 5 weeks, Dex was headed for a scoreless week. In desperation I googled "Watch Dexter season 1 episode 6" and found WatchDexterEpisodes.com, and Dex ended up winning for the 4th time in the last 6 weeks. It's now tied for 2nd, and if it ends up winning the Cup, we may look back on this as the turning point of the season. Incredible as it may seem, sometimes the internet actually doesn't suck!
Gotta give one to South Park for another fine new ep. Leave Britney alone! And one to Nathan Fielder for his latest "On Your Side" segment. I wouldn't be surprised to see a half-hour "On Your Side" compilation special on CBC after 22's current season ends. (Hint hint, Mr. Farrell!)
But the biggest game ball this week goes to a website. March Madness caused Dexter to start way late, so my DVR only got the first 5 minutes. My brother's DVR got the same. Panic-stricken, I searched the internet to find a download. No luck. It looked as though, after 3 first-place and 2 second-place finishes in its first 5 weeks, Dex was headed for a scoreless week. In desperation I googled "Watch Dexter season 1 episode 6" and found WatchDexterEpisodes.com, and Dex ended up winning for the 4th time in the last 6 weeks. It's now tied for 2nd, and if it ends up winning the Cup, we may look back on this as the turning point of the season. Incredible as it may seem, sometimes the internet actually doesn't suck!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
ALF CUP 2008--WEEK 9 GAME BALLS
First GB to Raymond Cruz, who plays Tuco the drug lord on Breaking Bad, for his season-ending meth tweak during which he beats one of his henchmen (to death?).
Next one to the John Fogerty of TV comedy, Shaun Majumder, whose Unhitched character Freddy was said to have been plagiarized from his 22 Minutes character Raj Binder. The accusation, of course, came from Raj Binder himself during this week's 22.
And the last GB has to go to the entire cast of The Whitest Kids U'Know, who, standing on the shoulders of Monty Python and the Kids In The Hall, continue to advance sketch comedy even further into the future. The sketch about teaching a whale to jump out of its tail is an instant classic. What more can I say about the WKUK except "HOLY SHIT!"
First GB to Raymond Cruz, who plays Tuco the drug lord on Breaking Bad, for his season-ending meth tweak during which he beats one of his henchmen (to death?).
Next one to the John Fogerty of TV comedy, Shaun Majumder, whose Unhitched character Freddy was said to have been plagiarized from his 22 Minutes character Raj Binder. The accusation, of course, came from Raj Binder himself during this week's 22.
And the last GB has to go to the entire cast of The Whitest Kids U'Know, who, standing on the shoulders of Monty Python and the Kids In The Hall, continue to advance sketch comedy even further into the future. The sketch about teaching a whale to jump out of its tail is an instant classic. What more can I say about the WKUK except "HOLY SHIT!"
Saturday, March 08, 2008
OCHO DE MARZO* IS HERE, AND SO IS THE 2007 SOTY CHAMP
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED! THE 2007 SONG OF THE YEAR IS...
COMPASS POINT--LOWEN & NAVARRO (click here to listen and/or download the champ)
PAST SOTY WINNERS
2006--Pancreas--Weird Al Yankovic
2005--Start Wearing Purple--Gogol Bordello
2004--Thumbing My Way--Pearl Jam
2003--Thumbing My Way--Pearl Jam
2002--Trouble--Coldplay
2001--Song For The Stupid Raver Shithead Who Lives Underneath Me And Always Plays His Shitty Music Really Loud And Makes My Floor Vibrate And At One Point He Left His Room But Left The Stereo On And It Skipped And I Had To Listen To It For Four Fucking Hours--Taco The Wonder Dog
2000--Stuck On Earth--ALF (with Ben Liebrand)
1998--White Horse--Laid Back
1997--Drivin'--Henry Phillips
1996--1979--Smashing Pumpkins
1995--Bulbous Bouffant--The Vestibules
1994--Across The Universe--Laibach
1993--Jeremy--Pearl Jam
1992--Mississippi Queen--Sam Kinison
1991--X Y & Zee--Pop Will Eat Itself
1990--Def Con One--Pop Will Eat Itself
1989--Surfing With The Alien--Joe Satriani
1988--Mean Green Mother From Outer Space--Audrey II (Levi Stubbs)
1987--You're The One Who's Out Of This World--ALF
1986--I'm So Worried--Monty Python
1985--Marvin I Love You--Marvin The Paranoid Android
1983--Fish Heads--Barnes And Barnes
1982--Countdown--Rush
1981--Run Like Hell--Pink Floyd
* Footnote: Ocho De Marzo is what I now call my birthday. I don a sombrero and eat a lot of tacos.
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED! THE 2007 SONG OF THE YEAR IS...
COMPASS POINT--LOWEN & NAVARRO (click here to listen and/or download the champ)
PAST SOTY WINNERS
2006--Pancreas--Weird Al Yankovic
2005--Start Wearing Purple--Gogol Bordello
2004--Thumbing My Way--Pearl Jam
2003--Thumbing My Way--Pearl Jam
2002--Trouble--Coldplay
2001--Song For The Stupid Raver Shithead Who Lives Underneath Me And Always Plays His Shitty Music Really Loud And Makes My Floor Vibrate And At One Point He Left His Room But Left The Stereo On And It Skipped And I Had To Listen To It For Four Fucking Hours--Taco The Wonder Dog
2000--Stuck On Earth--ALF (with Ben Liebrand)
1998--White Horse--Laid Back
1997--Drivin'--Henry Phillips
1996--1979--Smashing Pumpkins
1995--Bulbous Bouffant--The Vestibules
1994--Across The Universe--Laibach
1993--Jeremy--Pearl Jam
1992--Mississippi Queen--Sam Kinison
1991--X Y & Zee--Pop Will Eat Itself
1990--Def Con One--Pop Will Eat Itself
1989--Surfing With The Alien--Joe Satriani
1988--Mean Green Mother From Outer Space--Audrey II (Levi Stubbs)
1987--You're The One Who's Out Of This World--ALF
1986--I'm So Worried--Monty Python
1985--Marvin I Love You--Marvin The Paranoid Android
1983--Fish Heads--Barnes And Barnes
1982--Countdown--Rush
1981--Run Like Hell--Pink Floyd
* Footnote: Ocho De Marzo is what I now call my birthday. I don a sombrero and eat a lot of tacos.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
ALF CUP/SOTY UPDATES
The 2007 Song Of The Year winner will be announced this Saturday, Ocho de Marzo.
Meanwhile, it's interesting to look at the shows that have held sway in the ALF Cup top 10 so far this season. Beside the fact that there are 3 pairs of 'drafting partners', and that 5 of the 10 air Sunday night, there are 4 distinct groups in there: the 3 CBC veterans (Mercer, 22 and Air Farce) and 3 hotshot Sunday night rookies (Whitest Kids, Dexter and Breaking Bad) in the top 6, followed by Fox partners F-Guy and Am-Dad and Discovery partners Mythbusters and rookie Smash Lab.
And lastly, to steal a page from Chris Berman, I'd like to start awarding "Game Balls" for the top individual performances each week. The first Game Ball this week has to go to 22's Nathan Fielder for his report on MP3 players. Other Game Balls go to Michael C. Hall who continues to shine as Dexter, and Bryan Cranston's 'explosive' performance on Breaking Bad.
The 2007 Song Of The Year winner will be announced this Saturday, Ocho de Marzo.
Meanwhile, it's interesting to look at the shows that have held sway in the ALF Cup top 10 so far this season. Beside the fact that there are 3 pairs of 'drafting partners', and that 5 of the 10 air Sunday night, there are 4 distinct groups in there: the 3 CBC veterans (Mercer, 22 and Air Farce) and 3 hotshot Sunday night rookies (Whitest Kids, Dexter and Breaking Bad) in the top 6, followed by Fox partners F-Guy and Am-Dad and Discovery partners Mythbusters and rookie Smash Lab.
And lastly, to steal a page from Chris Berman, I'd like to start awarding "Game Balls" for the top individual performances each week. The first Game Ball this week has to go to 22's Nathan Fielder for his report on MP3 players. Other Game Balls go to Michael C. Hall who continues to shine as Dexter, and Bryan Cranston's 'explosive' performance on Breaking Bad.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
R.I.P., MUTZ
Well, tonight was our last night of karaoke at Mutz. It's not like we didn't see it coming, they pretty much killed it 6 months ago by remodeling it for the worse. Tonight was just the last shovel of dirt on the grave. A couple of friends and I had the honor of singing the very last song, "The Way We Were". I thought it quite fitting.
I spent much of the last 4+ years down there, and I take away many fond and lasting memories, as well as many damn good friendships with fellow karaoke enthusiasts: Noel & Kristy, Levi, Tenacious Sam, the Lizard Queen, ProZak, Matt P., Jennel, Josh, Minko, many others too numerous to mention, and of course Doug and Micki.
What can I say? The place changed my life, in good ways and, occasionally, bad ways. On the good side, I got some pussy via the place! On the bad side, the pussy belonged to a total psychobitch from hell. But as the song says, "what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget...so it's the laughter I will remember":
* Noel's cellphone recording of a drunk Tenacious Sam out front, singing "YOU MAKE ME FEEL...YOU MAKE ME FEEL...[long pause]...BITCH!...YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAAAAAN!"
* The crowd reaction every Halloween as I revealed my drag outfit during "Sweet Transvestite".
* The crowd reaction when I dropped the C-bomb during "Jagged Little Parody"...all the guys let out a collective "WHOOOA!" as if they were on a roller coaster, while half the gals flipped me off.
* Noel and I and our many performances of "Boulevard Of Broken Songs".
* Picking up Tenacious Sam to pull off a couple of swing-dance moves during "Kiss".
* Drowning out an obnoxious UM fan after yet another OSU victory by yelling "O-H!" at the top of my very LOUD lungs, followed by an almost-as-loud "I-O!" from the mostly OSU crowd. His finished his song and promptly hightailed it out of there. (Doug said it best...I'm the only person who doesn't even need a mic!)
* All the fun summer nights singing outside in the courtyard between the bars. Outdoor karaoke...can't do that anywhere else! (Except maybe at a corn maze)
* Belting out "Anarchy In The UK" while standing on top of a barstool, shortly after Saddam Hussein's execution, with the handwritten sign "EXECUTE GEORGE NEXT!" duct-taped to my forehead.
* The dozens of times I whipped out that fork during "One More Minute"...never fails to get a laugh.
I could go on for hours. But I won't.
Thanks to all my pals with whom I had fun at what used to be the best karaoke spot in town. It was a heck of a 4.25-year run.
But PKE still has plenty of other shows, including my own weekly gig at Woodchuck's. Here's to creating new fond memories at all our other haunts! See you there!
Well, tonight was our last night of karaoke at Mutz. It's not like we didn't see it coming, they pretty much killed it 6 months ago by remodeling it for the worse. Tonight was just the last shovel of dirt on the grave. A couple of friends and I had the honor of singing the very last song, "The Way We Were". I thought it quite fitting.
I spent much of the last 4+ years down there, and I take away many fond and lasting memories, as well as many damn good friendships with fellow karaoke enthusiasts: Noel & Kristy, Levi, Tenacious Sam, the Lizard Queen, ProZak, Matt P., Jennel, Josh, Minko, many others too numerous to mention, and of course Doug and Micki.
What can I say? The place changed my life, in good ways and, occasionally, bad ways. On the good side, I got some pussy via the place! On the bad side, the pussy belonged to a total psychobitch from hell. But as the song says, "what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget...so it's the laughter I will remember":
* Noel's cellphone recording of a drunk Tenacious Sam out front, singing "YOU MAKE ME FEEL...YOU MAKE ME FEEL...[long pause]...BITCH!...YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAAAAAN!"
* The crowd reaction every Halloween as I revealed my drag outfit during "Sweet Transvestite".
* The crowd reaction when I dropped the C-bomb during "Jagged Little Parody"...all the guys let out a collective "WHOOOA!" as if they were on a roller coaster, while half the gals flipped me off.
* Noel and I and our many performances of "Boulevard Of Broken Songs".
* Picking up Tenacious Sam to pull off a couple of swing-dance moves during "Kiss".
* Drowning out an obnoxious UM fan after yet another OSU victory by yelling "O-H!" at the top of my very LOUD lungs, followed by an almost-as-loud "I-O!" from the mostly OSU crowd. His finished his song and promptly hightailed it out of there. (Doug said it best...I'm the only person who doesn't even need a mic!)
* All the fun summer nights singing outside in the courtyard between the bars. Outdoor karaoke...can't do that anywhere else! (Except maybe at a corn maze)
* Belting out "Anarchy In The UK" while standing on top of a barstool, shortly after Saddam Hussein's execution, with the handwritten sign "EXECUTE GEORGE NEXT!" duct-taped to my forehead.
* The dozens of times I whipped out that fork during "One More Minute"...never fails to get a laugh.
I could go on for hours. But I won't.
Thanks to all my pals with whom I had fun at what used to be the best karaoke spot in town. It was a heck of a 4.25-year run.
But PKE still has plenty of other shows, including my own weekly gig at Woodchuck's. Here's to creating new fond memories at all our other haunts! See you there!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
DAN IS THE MAN
I must give a huge shoutout to astronaut Daniel Tani, who returned home from the ISS this week after 4 long months in earth orbit (twice as long as scheduled) during which his mother met a most untimely death.
My mom's death was plenty tough on me, and I got to sleep in my own bed afterwards. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for Dan to be stranded in space during all that, missing the funeral and not being with his loved ones and whatnot.
Needless to say, he did the only thing he could do to cope. He kept right on doing his job up there. And given the circumstances, he did one heck of a job. (And some say there are no more heroes in this world.)
Welcome home, Dan. The Duck Pond salutes you. You are the man!
I must give a huge shoutout to astronaut Daniel Tani, who returned home from the ISS this week after 4 long months in earth orbit (twice as long as scheduled) during which his mother met a most untimely death.
My mom's death was plenty tough on me, and I got to sleep in my own bed afterwards. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for Dan to be stranded in space during all that, missing the funeral and not being with his loved ones and whatnot.
Needless to say, he did the only thing he could do to cope. He kept right on doing his job up there. And given the circumstances, he did one heck of a job. (And some say there are no more heroes in this world.)
Welcome home, Dan. The Duck Pond salutes you. You are the man!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
SOTY 2007...YOU MAKE THE CALL!
And then there were two. The 2007 Song Of The Year comes down to this final matchup:
"Compass Point" by Lowen And Navarro vs. "Rocky Drunky Pervert" by Stevans
AND I CAN'T DECIDE! So I need your help, dear friends. If you would like to help me pick a winner, email me at askduckpond2008@sacbeemail.com. If you haven't heard them yet, let me know and I will email them to you.
SOTY 2007...Their fate is in YOUR HANDS!
The rest of the top 42 are listed below...
3. A Modern Man--George Carlin
4. Girlshapedlovedrug--Gomez
5. Angry Inch--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
6. Move Along--The All-American Rejects
7. Underneath Your Skirt--Stevans
8. Wicked Little Town--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
9. Shake Your Junk--Minko
10. Emotional Cash--Stevans
11. Supertheory Of Supereverything--Gogol Bordello
12. Monday's Wedding--Stevans
13. Wig In A Box--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
14. Leaving For Paris No. 2--Rufus Wainwright
15. How We Operate--Gomez
16. The Origin Of Love--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
17. Notice--Gomez
18. Macarthur Park--Jimmy Webb
19. All About Me--Matt Dusk
20. Mojo--Peeping Tom
21. Yesterday Never Tomorrows--The Stills
22. Tear Me Down--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
23. Daily Grind--Minko
24. Weight Of The World--Lowen And Navarro
25. The Underdog--Spoon
26. Crucifixion Steaks Demo--Steve Dahl
27. Suddenly...(I Miss Carpaty)--Gogol Bordello
28. The Way We Get By--Spoon
29. Missing Part--Stevans
30. Midnight Radio--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
31. Girlfriend--Avril Lavigne
32. Coast-To-Coast Emergency--George Carlin
33. 11x3 (live)--Steve Dahl & The Dahlfins
34. Dick In A Box--Justin Timberlake
35. Buzz In My Head--Stevans
36. Rise And Fall--Stevans
37. My Humps--Alanis Morissette
38. John Allyn Smith Sails--Okkervil River
39. Lights Out--Lisa Marie Presley
40. 11x3--Steve Dahl & Teenage Radiation
41. Crazy Bitch--Buckcherry
42. Tulsa--Rufus Wainwright
And then there were two. The 2007 Song Of The Year comes down to this final matchup:
"Compass Point" by Lowen And Navarro vs. "Rocky Drunky Pervert" by Stevans
AND I CAN'T DECIDE! So I need your help, dear friends. If you would like to help me pick a winner, email me at askduckpond2008@sacbeemail.com. If you haven't heard them yet, let me know and I will email them to you.
SOTY 2007...Their fate is in YOUR HANDS!
The rest of the top 42 are listed below...
3. A Modern Man--George Carlin
4. Girlshapedlovedrug--Gomez
5. Angry Inch--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
6. Move Along--The All-American Rejects
7. Underneath Your Skirt--Stevans
8. Wicked Little Town--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
9. Shake Your Junk--Minko
10. Emotional Cash--Stevans
11. Supertheory Of Supereverything--Gogol Bordello
12. Monday's Wedding--Stevans
13. Wig In A Box--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
14. Leaving For Paris No. 2--Rufus Wainwright
15. How We Operate--Gomez
16. The Origin Of Love--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
17. Notice--Gomez
18. Macarthur Park--Jimmy Webb
19. All About Me--Matt Dusk
20. Mojo--Peeping Tom
21. Yesterday Never Tomorrows--The Stills
22. Tear Me Down--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
23. Daily Grind--Minko
24. Weight Of The World--Lowen And Navarro
25. The Underdog--Spoon
26. Crucifixion Steaks Demo--Steve Dahl
27. Suddenly...(I Miss Carpaty)--Gogol Bordello
28. The Way We Get By--Spoon
29. Missing Part--Stevans
30. Midnight Radio--Hedwig And The Angry Inch
31. Girlfriend--Avril Lavigne
32. Coast-To-Coast Emergency--George Carlin
33. 11x3 (live)--Steve Dahl & The Dahlfins
34. Dick In A Box--Justin Timberlake
35. Buzz In My Head--Stevans
36. Rise And Fall--Stevans
37. My Humps--Alanis Morissette
38. John Allyn Smith Sails--Okkervil River
39. Lights Out--Lisa Marie Presley
40. 11x3--Steve Dahl & Teenage Radiation
41. Crazy Bitch--Buckcherry
42. Tulsa--Rufus Wainwright
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