Here's a sort of companion piece to go with the "Cola Wars" posting (it actually predates the other piece):

BLUE FOOD: REVISITED
by Ducksoup

I just had my first taste of Pepsi Blue, and not my last. I'd say in this latest epic cola grudge match, Pepsi Blue and Vanilla Coke have gamely fought to a draw. But it did start me thinking about the recent proliferation of blue food in our grocery stores and carryouts.

Many years ago, George Carlin wondered aloud why there was no blue food. Who had all the blue food? Why were they keeping it from us? All the other colors were represented. But in those days, the rare occurence of blue food was purely an arbitrary thing. The flavor in question never really had anything to do with blue in a tangible sense. The only food that could come close to laying claim to blue as an official food color was the blueberry. But as Carlin noted, "Blue on the vine, purple on the plate."

Of course, Grape had already called dibs on Purple, and nobody disputed it. And most of the other colors were no-brainers; Orange obviously had sole possession of Orange from the get-go (though it allowed its close associate Tangerine to use Burnt Orange), and Lemon simply beat Banana to the punch for the rights to Yellow, leaving Banana to settle for Pale Yellow.

Lime, meanwhile, had a firm grip on Green, but only because no one else wanted it. After all, many consumers associated Green with mold. And Lime Jello, let's face it, is widely regarded as a sad joke. In fact, Green's stock dropped so low at one point that Lime was ultimately left with few other options and was all but forced to team up with Lemon in products such as 7-Up and Sprite just to keep up its mortgage payments.

But the biggest battle for color rights in the fruit-flavored world was over Red. In the eyes of many, Cherry had firmly staked its claim to the color. But many others sided with Strawberry. After years of legal deadlocks, the two sides made an somewhat uneasy compromise. Cherry and Strawberry would simply stay out of each other's way.

To this day, the two rarely co-exist in any multi-flavored medium. In most other cases (Starburst, for example), Strawberry agreed to relegate itself to Pink. The rest of the time, Cherry would grudgingly agree to be a Dark Red, even Maroon in some cases. (Once, Cherry even attempted to use Burgundy, but was forced to back off after Dr. Pepper threatened legal action.)

And then, there was Raspberry. The bastard stepchild of the red berry flavors.

Raspberry, with absolutely no legal or popular support on its side, was left out in the cold. It tried in vain to obtain the rights to Violet-Red, but was no match for Cranberry, which had a wealth of powerful Thanksgiving lobbyists on its side. For many years, Raspberry was a flavor without a color to call its own.

Then, in the late 1970s, the faithful support of a small cult of Raspberry enthusiasts grew at an astonishing rate to a groundswell of popular support to give the flavor its due. For years the fruit-flavored food industry had been thoroughly resistant to change, and the idea that flavors and colors must match in all circumstances went unchallenged. But in the landmark 1978 Supreme Court case of California v. Slush Puppie, the radical and unprecedented move was made to grant Raspberry use of the color Blue.

Needless to say, Blueberry was PISSED. But the unpopular flavor had no leg to stand on, especially after Boo Berry cereal ceased production. When it finally was granted an official color years later, it had to settle for Blue-Violet, and then only after Grape had agreed to ease up on its virtual stranglehold on the entire violet and near-violet realm of the spectrum.

Raspberry continues to thrive using Blue as its medium, and has since granted many others permission to use the color in limited release, the latest of course being the lucrative deal with Pepsi. Thus, store shelves are now seemingly overrun with blue products. Still, none of these have flavors that are inherently blue in nature. And so, in the hearts and minds of purists, there remains no 'true blue' food to this day.

Meanwhile, other color battles are still being waged. Strawberry's occasional use of Pink, for example, ran into a formidable challenge from Watermelon beginning in the early 1980s. But in recent years, Strawberry has inexplicably teamed up with Kiwi in order to hang on to Pink. Many consumers, myself included, regard this as a match made in hell. I would put it this way: If the primary fruit flavors were the Beatles, Strawberry would be John Lennon, making Kiwi its Yoko Ono. (Except that Kiwi has a better singing voice.)

[2010 P.S. I guess this means Acai is May Pang.]

Flavor experts agree that the discovery of the fourth primary color, Squant, in the early 1990s could revolutionize the flavor-coloring world. But with Squant-related proprietary disputes between paint companies tying up the courts for years, it could be decades before the fruit-flavored color wars are settled.

But it could be worse, considering the limited flavor choices our grandparents and great-grandparents had to deal with back when the entire world was in black-and-white.

Think about that the next time you encounter coconut or licorice.