QUOTE DU JOUR

"February 2 was Groundhog Day. It was also the day W gave his State of the Union Address. It was an ironic juxtaposition of events: One involved a meaningless ritual in which we looked to a creature of little intelligence for an accurate prognostication of the future. The other involved a groundhog."

--Terry "T-Dog" Lodge

KARAOKE RECAP: MON FEB 7, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS

Missed Mutz on the 5th due to my ankle injury. Managed to hobble to SWL on crutches.

NEW--Do You Really Want To Hurt Me--Culture Club--Heard this the night before, thot it would sound good in the EVV voice. Not bad.
NEW--Take A Picture--Filter--Heard this on Dahl a couple of weeks ago, can't stop listening to it, had to try it.

KARAOKE RECAPS

Sorry folks, but I wanted to take at least a week off to mourn the passing of Mr. Carson. Plus I've had other stressful situations to deal with lately. On top of it all, I fucked up my ankle slipping on ice Tuesday night while leaving for work. To quote the Rutles: "Ouch! Ow! Ow! Ouch!"

So while I'm stuck here, hobbled, I might as well catch up on these...

SAT JAN 22, MUTZ, 4 SONGS
Runaway Train--Soul Asylum--I just felt like it.
NEW--In My Life--The Beatles--Popped into my head on the way down there. So I tried it. Not bad.
Float On--Modest Mouse--By request.
Big Bottom--Spinal Tap--Someone did "Baby Got Back", someone else did "Fat Bottomed Girls", so I had to complete the hat trick.

MON JAN 24, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 3 SONGS
NEW--I'll Be Seeing You; NEW--One For My Baby; Tiptoe Thru The Tulips
A triple tribute to Johnny: His favorite song, followed by the one Bette Midler did on the next-to-last show, and finally Tiny Tim just for the heck of it.

SAT JAN 29, MUTZ, 5 SONGS
One For My Baby--Frank Sinatra--Had to do at least one of these at Mutz.
Masochism Tango--Tom Lehrer--Duet with Noel. Had to school him on it.
Stealin'--Uriah HeepI hadn't sung it in a while.
American Idiot--Green Day--A couple of idiots did "Back When" billing themselves as "The Republicans". So I countered with this in the interest of equal time. I got the better response, especially with my slight lyric change "I'm not a part of a red state agenda". My peeps love that.
Love Shack--The B-52's--Two ladies asked me to suggest a song for them. I pitched this as one I could help them with. Who am I to pass up a 3-way with two women?

MON JAN 31, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 1 SONG
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Was gonna do "American Idiot" but didn't feel my voice was 100% so I switched. What the fuck was I thinking?!

Okay, that should take care of any outstanding business. Now I can get back to sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

***

BONUS POST:

RE: THE TSUNAMI SONG

By now you've probably heard the ruckus over "The Tsunami Song", which got a gaggle of radio jocks canned in NYC. Of course, most news outlets reporting the story will, predictably, never pass along the actual lyrics, so you, Joe Q. Public, can judge for yourself.

So I hit my preferred file-sharing site, found the tune, gave it a listen, and in my humble opinion, from a musical standpoint, you're not missing much. The singing is lame, the pacing is lame, and it's just plain not funny. Even if I weren't offended by the racial slurs, I still wouldn't laugh at the song. It sucks. It wallows in lameness. If I were the one in charge of that station I would have fired the lot of them for not being funny, I wouldn't even get to the racial slurs and whatnot.

Still, for those who want to peruse the lyrics, here ya go, knock yourself out...

***
There was a time when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away

And all at once you could hear the screaming chinks
And no one was safe from the wave
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away
You could hear God laughing, "Swim, you bitches, swim"

So now you're screwed, it's the tsunami
You better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
And now your children will be sold to child slavery
***

PS: I couldn't help but be reminded of another "We Are The World" parody, this one from about 20 years ago. Willie and I recorded this one back in Grand Rapids. Looking back now, it was also pretty stupid, but we had an excuse: We were a couple of weird 19-year-olds dealing with the insane environment of Job Corps!

"We Are The Snot"
There comes a time when we pick a certain nose
When the snot must come together as one
There are boogers flying
And it's time to lend a finger to snot
The greatest gift of all

We keep it loose, picking day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon pick a nose
We're all a part of snot's great big family
And the truth, you know snot is all we need

(chorus)
We are the snot, we are the sickening
We are the ones who make a tasty snack
So let's start picking
There's a nose we're picking
We're picking our own nose
It's true we pick a brighter nose
Just you and me

Well, send 'em your snot
So they know that someone cares
And their nose will be stronger and free
As snot has shown us
By turning fingers green
And so we all must lend a helping finger

(repeat chorus)

When you're down and out
There seems no snot at all
But if you just believe
There's no snot that will fall
Well, well, well, let's realize
That a snot can only come
When we pick together as one
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!

(repeat chorus ad nauseam)

(c) 1985 by USA For Mucus

JOHNNY CARSON

King of comedy and sharp-dressed man

October 23, 1925-January 23, 2005

JOHNNY, I BID YOU A VERY HEARTFELT GOODNIGHT.

I’ll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through

In that small café
The park across the way
The children’s carousel
The chestnut tree
The wishing well

I’ll be seeing you
In every lovely summer’s day
In everything that’s light and gay
I’ll always think of you that way

I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you

KARAOKE RECAPS

SAT JAN 15, MUTZ, 4 SONGS

NEW--Polk Salad Annie--Tony Joe White--Dahl played some TJW recently, this is the only TJW that PKE has, so I took it on. Wanted to be sure to get the grunts right. I did, but that was about it.
Tuesday's Gone--Lynyrd Skynyrd
NEW--American Idiot--Green Day--Stole the slip. I think I did good except for breathing right. On the line "I'm not part of a redneck agenda" I changed "redneck" to "red state".
Take Me Out--Franz Ferdinand--Had 3 songs picked out to finish on, I took a vote among my comrades, this won.

MON JAN 17, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 3 SONGS

NEW--You Get What You Give--New Radicals--Felt compelled to try it for some reason. Did a so-so job. The high notes are tricky and that whole bit at the end about Hanson and Marilyn Manson etc. is nearly impossible.
NEW--White Houses--Vanessa Carlton--Heard it on Dahl. She has a cute voice, and she's singing about losing her virginity, which makes it even hotter. I, of course, had to perform a sex-change on the lyrics, and to make it fit my own experience.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--See Ducksoup defy the laws of physics! Hear him sing notes of dizzying heights! And all without a safety net!

WED JAN 19, CENTER COURT, 1 SONG

Fat Girls--Ducksoup--Took another shot. I think the problem is that not enough people know the original. I might have to re-apply the concept to a more well-known song. That or just memorize "Baby Got Back", but so many people sing that that it's lost its impact. What's a chubby-chasing karaokaholic to do?

KARAOKE RECAP: WED JAN 12, CENTER COURT LOUNGE, 1 SONG

Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--What is with me and this song?! Maybe it's that my nailing a high-up song like this seems to defy some fundamental law of physics. And of course, I'm nothing if not defiant.

KARAOKE RECAPS:

SATURDAY, JANUARY 8, MUTZ, 6 SONGS

For the first 3-4 songs it was just me and Doug. Just like the old days at Mugzie's. (sigh) Memories...

Turn The Page--Bob Seger--On my mind since NYE. The lady friend can sing it in the car, hoping to convince her she can sing it at karaoke as well.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Not quite sick of it yet.
Not For You--Pearl Jam
Outside--Staind--14th time for this one. There's one tricky spot where my voice cracks every now and then. Dammit.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic--14th time for this one, so they're still tied for first. Wanted to work the crowd before the big premiere...
NEW--Fat Girls--Ducksoup--A parody of "Mad World" which I wrote Friday afternoon. Sort of a kinder, gentler "Baby Got Back", actually along the same lines of the Snackstreet Boys' "I Want A Fat Babe", but to a tune that's well within my range. (To save space here, those who would like to read the lyrics can request them by email at askduckpond@sacbeemail.com)

MONDAY, JANUARY 10, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 3 SONGS

NEW--Ohio--Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young--Earlier in the day, a statue was unveiled downtown of former Ohio governor James Rhodes, the scumbag responsible for the Kent State shootings. A dozen of us were there to protest, chanting "Four dead in Ohio". It would be far more appropriate to put up a statue paying tribute to Allison Krause, Jeffrey Miller*, Sandra Scheuer*, and William Schroeder, instead of a statue of the man responsible for their deaths. As it was, I paid them my own small tribute.
It's Been Awhile--Staind--...since I sang this song.
NEW--So Yesterday--Hilary Duff--Completing my Spears/Lavigne/Duff hat trick. Tried the EVV...too low. Tried an HDV...too high. I shoulda went with my Kinison song like I was going to in the first place.

*A couple of Kent State connections:
My fellow NWOPCer Betty C. taught at Kent State at the time, and Scheuer was one of her students.
My geography teacher at Rogers HS attended Kent State and was roommates with Miller. (The year I was in his class, there was a TV-movie about Kent State which he taped and screened for us. Interesting bit of trivia he pointed out: The infamous photo of the girl kneeling in horror next to one of the slain students inspired the line in the song "What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground..." because CSNY thought the slain student in the photo was female. But in fact, it was Miller.)

KARAOKE RECAP: MONDAY, JANUARY 3, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 5 SONGS

NEW--Big Empty--Stone Temple Pilots--Stole the slip from someone who did it at Mutz last week. I do good on STP, forgot this one.
Losing My Religion--R.E.M.--Stole this slip weeks ago. Finally got to it. Dunno why I didn't start doing this one months ago.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--I'm just really digging singing this right now. Probably because it should be too high for me but it's not.
You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'--The Righteous Brothers--Duet with Doug. But frankly I think it works better with Fat Bastard.
Daysleeper--R.E.M.--Hmm. Two R.E.M. songs for the night. No reason. Just coinkydink.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM A SPRAINED MIND

Just freeing up some memory space in my post-New Year's brain...

***

For New Year's Eve, my lady friend and I went to Port Clinton to see the famed "Walleye Drop" in which a 20-foot long fiberglass walleye named Wylie was "dropped" (or rather, "slowly lowered down a cable") into a net at the stroke of midnight. (Well, actually the timing was a bit off, he hit the net several seconds late.) Those folks in Port Clinton really know how to party...By 12:15-12:20 most of the crowd seemed to have dispersed and gone home. The evening's entertainment included an Elvis impersonator and a barbershop quartet, in spite of which we somehow managed to have a good time.

Picked myself up a few items during the visit: Got a black feather boa, which would have been just the thing to top off my "Sweet Transvestite" outfit. (Wait til next Halloween.) Also got a couple of buttons that are SO me:

"My sexual preference is often"
and
"Behind every great woman...is a man checking out her ass" (How 'me' can you get?)

Sad to say, I was unable to make it to Waterville for the New Year's Day polar bear swim. Nor did I make to Sandusky Speedway for the Hangover 100 race, but all the snow was gone anyway.

***

Okay, this next thing is still bugging me...

There's this online IQ test (web.tickle.com) that includes a fucked-up question. I sent an email "to whom it may concern" months ago to suggest a correction but they still haven't fixed it.

(WARNING: MATH AHEAD! Those who have an aversion to math problems may want to skip this item. You know, like most Americans.)

Here's the question:

Two cars start off at the same point on a straight highway facing opposite directions. Each car drives for 6 miles, takes a left turn, and drives for 8 miles. How far apart are the two cars?
2 miles
11 miles
14 miles
20 miles
26 miles

Now, all the questions on the test give multiple choices, and some include the choice "It's impossible to tell", which is not one of the choices for this question, but is in fact the correct answer.

The answer they're apparently looking for is 20, based on the Pythagorean Theorem: "The sum of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides." However, this is assuming that each car turned at an exact right angle. If the question specified that each car made "a 90-degree left turn onto another straight highway", 20 would be the correct answer. But no angle is specified (let alone whether or not the other highways are straight).

I therefore urge you to send an email to support@tickle-inc.com and insist that they correct this blatant and inexcusable error! (Unless, unlike me, you have a life.)

***

The rest of these are items from the last week's worth of newspapers that I thought I'd pass along and/or comment on.

***

There was an article about former Ohio State QB and chronic gamble-holic Art Schlichter (and after all these 20+ years I still can't pronounce "Schlichter") which reminded me I have yet to run my recent interview with him. I might post it here in the near-future. Or not. Anyhoo here's an excerpt:

Schlichter: "Actually, Duck, I'm happy to announce that I've finally beaten my gambling addiction."
Ducksoup: "No disrespect, Art, but I highly doubt that."
Schlichter: "Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"
[rim shot]

***

Over-used words and phrases from 2004:

"Flip-flop"
"And I approved this message"
"You're fired!"
"Sale event"
"Body wash"
"Zero-percent APR financing"
"Wardrobe malfunction"
"Pockets of resistance"
"Enemy combatant"
"Improvised explosive device"
"Battleground state"
"Security moms"
"Girlie men"
"Values voters"
"Coalition of the willing"
"Bring it on"
"Ownership society"
"Mandate"
"Reverse the curse"
"Green zone"
"What would Jesus drive?"
"Companion animals"
"Embeds"
"Shots rang out"
"In harm's way"
"It is what it is"
"Swift boats"
"Little Gitmo"
"Stop-loss"

Most of these, of course, would make damn fine band names.

***

A question from "Ask Marilyn": "Say that May 2 is on a Monday, which means May 6 is on a Friday. Six minus two equals four, yet five days have passed. What am I missing?"--Brenda Haury, Valley Center, Kan.

Well, what'd you expect? Kansas is, after all, a red state. (Marilyn of course failed to give the correct answer to the question, which of course would be "a brain.")

***

From the editorial letter section, David J. Undis, Executive Director of LifeSharers, Nashville TN has one of the best ideas I've ever heard:

"The solution to the organ shortage is simple: If you don't agree to donate your organs when you die, then you go to the back of the waiting list if you ever need an organ to live."

I try not to ever say this but...AMEN!

***

"MINOT, N.D.--Thirty-six children were injured in a sledding accident during an all-night New Year's Eve party hosted by a religious organization."

No, that's not a typo, folks. THIRTY-SIX. In ONE accident. What, were they sledding on an interstate in heavy fog?!

"Police Sgt. Winston Black said more than 100 children ages 12 to 19 attending a Youth for Christ event gathered at a high school around 4 a.m. to slide down a hill using sleds built out of cardboard boxes. A sign posted on the hill prohibited sledding."

Again, that's "Youth for Christ", not "Youth for Literacy". (North Dakota: yes, another red state.)

"The children and Youth for Christ staff piled eight to 12 passengers on the sleds, then went down the hill in quick succession, Sergeant Black said. 'The sleds struck rocks, a light pole, and each other,' he said."

I wouldn't be surprised if the accident was started by either Jimmy Sphincter or Robby Gourdhead. Damn restrictor plate sledding!

***

"Officials are considering a proposed multi-million dollar expansion to the Palace of Auburn Hills, home of the Detroit Pistons. Planned additions include restaurants, suites, and a banquet facility."

How 'bout a jail cell? (It could double as a locker room next time the Pacers are in town.)

***

"BUFFALO, Mo.--A man apparently upset over his share of a family inheritance shot and killed his sister and brother-in-law and then killed himself, authorities said."

I dunno, this guy's math seems flawed to me. (Well whatcha know, Missouri: yet another red state! Man, this is like shooting fish in a barrel.)

***

"Congress passed a bill in November designating the oak as our national tree, and the President has signed it into law."

I guess it's about time the U.S. had a "national tree", seeing as so many people in the red states are still living in trees.

KARAOKE RECAP: THURSDAY, DECEMBER 30, MUTZ, 5 SONGS

NEW--Heart-Shaped Box--Nirvana--I'd been putting it off for a couple weeks.
NEW--Cruisin'--Huey Lewis & Gwyneth Paltrow--A duet: Tina & Czarnina! Stole it from Doug. Nailed, like, 95% of it.
1979--Smashing Pumpkins--Decided to do 'year' songs for New Year's.
1985--Bowling For Soup--Ouch. Now I remember why I shelved this a month ago.
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Really nailing it now. And good crowd response.

PS: The two new songs brought my grand total to 250! Round numbers, you gotta love 'em.

KARAOKE RECAP: WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, CENTER COURT, 2 SONGS

Suck On My Cock--John Valby--It's SOOOOO last week, but 'twas a request, by a woman who thought it was too good for me to have written it. Uh huh.
NEW--Vincent--Don McLean--Heard it in the grocery store that morning, had it stuck in my head all fucking day. Only one way to get it out. I was not happy with it. The timing is very tricky.

KARAOKE RECAPS:

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 22, CENTER COURT, 3 SONGS

Marijuanaville--David Allan Coe--Going for the funny tonight.
Are You Lonesome Tonight--Sam Kinison--Very well-received.
Suck On My Cock--John Valby--And of course they dig this too.

THURSDAY, DEC. 23, MUTZ, 3 SONGS

Mexican Radio--Wall Of Voodoo
Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--I was right. 2nd time...nailed it.
Not For You--Pearl Jam

FASCIST PIG OF THE YEAR

Congrats to George W. Bush on being named Time Magazine's "Person Of The Year". WTG, Dubya, you are now in appropriate company. Namely, Hitler and the Ayatollah. Both role models of yours, no doubt.

KARAOKE RECAP: MONDAY, DEC. 20, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 4 SONGS

NEW--Fake Plastic Trees--Radiohead--Was compelled to try it. Dunno why. Coulda gone an octave lower, but I just get tired of myself and my EVV sometimes. So I took a chance and went high where the real vocal is. Voice cracked once or twice where it shouldn't, but otherwise I did good. I think next shot at this I'll nail it.
My Way--Frank Sinatra--Duet with Sir Bob ("My liege!"). Gave him the low verses while me and my EVV took the high bridges. He didn't think he could do it, but he did damn good. Face it, Sinatra's singing skills are overrated.
Here Comes The Sun--The Beatles--To mark the winter solstice. Last week I woulda had to change it to "There Goes The Sun".
Dixie Rose Deluxe's...--Trent Willmon--It was this or "Tuesday's Gone". This was shorter and I had to leave for work. Can still nail it without looking at the words.

KARAOKE RECAP: SATURDAY, DEC. 18, MUTZ, 6 SONGS

NEW--AM Radio--Everclear
Love Shack--The B-52's--Duet with Sam. He did the female vocals. Would you believe this was his idea, not mine? Of course, my Fred Schneider voice is much better. As for Sam, he couldn't quite settle on a voice. Kept switching between Joe Cocker, Prince and Lisa Loeb.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic
NEW--Old Apartment--Barenaked Ladies
Suck On My Cock--John Valby--Very well-received. So naturally I was told I can't sing it anymore.
Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--Duet with Sam. Not bad when you consider Sam was drunk off his ass.

KARAOKE RECAPS (DEC 8-15)

Note: Got to catch up on recaps. So here's the current backlog. From now on, I'll try my best to post each appearance individually.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8, CENTER COURT, 4 SONGS

And the addiction begins to take a stranglehold on me. Added Wednesday to the sked. Only had time for 1 song last week ("Marijuanaville" [see footnote], forgot to add it to last week's recap. Short-term memory failure!), but this week I got there earlier.

NEW--Slither--Velvet Revolver--Doug paid $20 to get this for me, and says I damn well better sing it. So this was a chance to practice it.
If I Had $1,000,000--Barenaked Ladies--Someone else did this so I offered to do the 2nd vocal part.
Outside--Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst--Turned out to be some fucked up shortened version, so I'm not even counting it.
Fuck It--Eamon--Not really in my range, by the end I had to do a Frankie Valli voice to stay in key. ("Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now...Sheeeeerrrrrry baaaaabyyyyy!") Odd.
NEW--Drinkin' Bone--Tracy Byrd--Been planning on stealing this from Doug for weeks. Chance to practice. Piece o' cake. Muwahahahaaa!

[Footnote: Due to my strong personal beliefs, I wish to stress that my performance of the song "Marijuanaville" in no way endorses the activities described therein.]

Note: I passed on Jalapeno's Friday. Too tired, and too far to get home. Besides, Friday night is ALF's Hit Talk Show night!

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11, MUTZ, 4 SONGS
Drinkin' Bone--Tracy Byrd--Time to piss Doug off and officially steal it. Someone told me later that I did it better. Muwahahahaaa!
Slither--Velvet Revolver--Time to appease Doug by giving him his 20 bucks worth.
Float On--Modest Mouse--Dancin' Sarah returned this week, she usually sings this, but never heard me do it.
NEW--The Distance--Cake--Finally got around to this one. Was inspired by the Earnhardt movie playing on the telly.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 13, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS

Insensitive--Jann Arden--Decided to play nice.
NEW--Cumbersome--Seven Mary Three--Heard it at CC, thot I'd try it. Not bad.

WEDNESDAY, DEMCMBER 15, CENTER COURT, 3 SONGS
Take Me Out--Franz Ferdinand--Making this one my own.
Float On--Modest Mouse--I really like the parts where I'm actually supposed to let my voice crack. Takes SO much pressure off.
Suck On My Cock--John Valby--Had to practice it for Saturday. Or just in case they don't let me do it Saturday. At least I can do it at CC, the crowd there loved it.

Note: Passed on Jalapeno's again. See previous note.

I COULD BE ALL CHEERFUL, BUT I'D STILL HAVE TO BUM RIDES OFF PEOPLE

Normally I try to keep the Pond an Xmas-free zone, but if I were ever to sing a holiday song at karaoke, it'd be this one. Sadly, Premiere Karaoke doesn't have the original (yet). It's a parody of "God" by John Lennon, called "Santa". The other day Steve Dahl played it as recorded by Jay Goeppner, formerly of the Beatle Brothers. To hear it go to dahl.com, then "recent shows", then select Monday (Dec. 13) and go about 1:33:33 into the show. Or you can be a lazy ass and just read the lyrics below. I recommend listening to it, because Goeppner does the best John Lennon imitation since...well, since Julian Lennon.

"Santa"
Santa's a concept
By which we commercialize
The holiday
I'll say it again
Santa's a concept
By which we commercialize
The holiday
I don't believe in Rudolph
I don't believe in Frosty
I don't believe in sleigh rides
I don't believe in Tiny Tim
I don't believe in Nutcracker
I don't believe in 34th Street
I don't believe in decking the halls
I don't believe in elves
I don't believe in mistletoe
I don't believe in Jingle Bells
I don't believe in eggnog
I don't believe in Jack Frost
I don't believe in George Bailey
I don't believe in Tannenbaums
I don't believe in Christmas songs
I just believe in peace
Peace throughout the year
Holiday cheer
The holiday is over
What can I say?
The holiday is over
Like any other day
I was excited once
But now I am not
I was all cheerful
But now I'm shot
And so dear friends
We've got 12 more months left to shop
The holiday is over

BUZZ KILMAN'S TOP TEN BEST BAND NAMES OF 2004

At the time of this writing, this list was not posted on Buzz's page, so here ya go!

10. Bunny Brains
9. Two-Cow Garage
8. Quarter-Barrel Cheryl
7. Attila The Stockbroker
6. Flabby Hoffman
5. Toast Face
4. The Well-Hungarians
3. The Flying Hamsters Of Doom
2. Think Floyd

And Buzz Kilman's choice for best band name of 2004...

1. Bad Haggis

~~~~~~~~~~

PS: The Weekly Karaoke Recap is being retooled. Since I now karaoke up to 4 times a week (yes, I freely admit, my addiction has consumed me), my karaoke recaps will now be split up into individual days, and will be posted (en masse if need be) whenever I get around to it.

WEEKLY KARAOKE RECAP

FRIDAY, JALAPENO'S, 2 SONGS

Insensitive--Jann Arden--Fittingly sad, of course. "I fell too fast, I feel too much..." No shit, Sure-lick.
Runaway Train--Soul Asylum--Another sad song, but this one I had to do simply because Steve Dahl played it a few days before, and when I get a song stuck in my head like that there's only one thing to do. (Before it vanishes, I highly recommend listening to last Wednesday's Dahl show, about 3 hours 20 minutes in. Steve does an acoustic version of the song with Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum. Very funny and very good.)

SATURDAY, MUTZ, 4 SONGS

Took my new lady friend to karaoke for a second time. The first time I strayed from my A material, thus she wasn't overly impressed, so this time I wanted to bring out at least one or two of my big guns.

Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--A December must-sing.
Outside--Staind--Went back to the original for the first time in a long time. I wanted to belt it out. I think lady friend was impressed.
What's New Pussycat--Tom Jones--One for lady friend. Hope I didn't embarrass you, dear.
You Don't Love Me Anymore--Weird Al Yankovic--She left early, so I was free to work the ladies in the crowd. (I know, I'm a scumbag.) Toward the end some guy nearby was not quite heckling but just being kinda loud and obnoxious, so he became the last line target. Also I added to my primal scream on the last note by collapsing onto the floor. Hey, it was a long and eventful night.

MONDAY, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 2 SONGS

Runaway Train--Soul Asylum--This was still stuck in my head so I kicked things off with it.
Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--Tis the season. Whatever.

WEEKLY KARAOKE RECAP (NOVEMBER 27-29)

Very truncated week. I would have gone to Mutz Thursday but they were closed. Friday I was too tired to have to bike home from Jalapeno's, so I stayed home, watched my CBC shows, then ALF's Hit Talk Show, then passed out to rest up for Saturday.

SATURDAY, MUTZ, 2 SONGS
Ran the show. 45 singers. Once I got past an initial technical problem, things ran smoothly.

Outside (live acoustic version)--Aaron Lewis & Fred Durst--Was a little rattled from the tech snafu, and it showed. Kinda shaky.
Hunger Strike--Temple Of The Dog--Talked comrade Jason into doing the Chris Cornell part. Started a bit iffy but finished strong.

MONDAY, SOUTHWYCK LOUNGE, 3 SONGS
Bizarro week: Got more songs in Monday than Saturday.

Hurt--Johnny Cash--A slow one to start. It was in my head as I walked there.
Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear--Bob Rivers--Tis the season. After this past Halloween, this song takes on a whole new meaning for me! Usually a duet with Doug but he made me go solo this time.
Amber--311--Came up on the in-between rotation, you know how it is. I'm still not happy with it but it's still better than my other 311 attempts.